Money: Today, I leave Ireland after a 5 month study abroad. Today also... - FML

17/12/2009 05:00 - Ireland

Today, I leave Ireland after a 5 month study abroad. Today also happens to be the day that the price of alcohol decreases by 30%, the dollar increases by 15% and the girl I have been chasing the whole time, to no avail, finally decides to show an interest in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 976

You deserved it 3 031

Taking stock

You tried

Family values

30/09/2016 04:06 - United States

Today, I placed sticky mouse traps in my bedroom. it's now 12:05 a.m. and I've successfully caught a mouse. Too bad I'm scared of them and my husband is passed out asleep. I now get to listen to a mouse squeak all night and have to be up in 4 hours. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 10 743

You deserved it 6 233

Damn Luke

By So not a Luke - 11/03/2021 13:01 - United Kingdom

Today, a very large guy came up and asked if I was Luke. Before I could explain that Luke’s my cousin and that we do look like twins, he picked me up off the ground and hung me by my belt loops from a metal fence, telling me to stay away from his aunt. I had to undo my pants in public to climb down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 95

16/06/2016 10:14 - United States - Livonia

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She was so angry, she stabbed me in the hand with a plastic fork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 301

You deserved it 1 999

14/01/2011 19:43 - United States

Today, I had a rude awakening after a traffic accident the day before. I'd fled the scene to avoid having to pay hefty damage fines. I would have gotten away with it too, if my license plate hadn't fallen off and incriminated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 646

You deserved it 121 356

30/06/2015 12:56 - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, I was at my best friend's wedding. As she threw the bouquet, I was punched in the face by another bridesmaid. Later, as I was explaining what had happened, I punched myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 314

You deserved it 7 738

24/04/2012 11:50 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 135

You deserved it 2 264

Rack go thwack

By Mary Anne - 03/09/2020 09:04 - United States - Denver

Today, while at work, I walked head first into the edge of a clothing rack. I was looking right at it. People saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 410

07/04/2013 04:26 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 732

You deserved it 5 310

16/07/2009 18:46 - United States

Today, while talking on the phone with my long distance boyfriend, he let me know that he was getting married in August to "some girl" for his papers. After I objected he told me, "well you can marry me if you want." I'm not sure if I just got dumped or proposed to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 266

You deserved it 5 862

28/12/2016 01:28

Today, I attempted to score with a previous friend-with-benefits by sending her a photo of my Christmas present, bondage rope. She arrived an hour later in a mad panic. She thought I was going to hang myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 906

You deserved it 3 042

09/01/2014 16:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 576

You deserved it 5 668

Nice

By meg - 07/02/2021 00:30

Today I got my senior pictures back from the photographer. When my boyfriend saw them, he said I look creepy. Not pretty, not beautiful, not even decent. Creepy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 109

10/03/2012 01:56 - Australia

Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 592

You deserved it 41 465

29/10/2017 13:00 - United States - Mount Pleasant

Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 721

You deserved it 281

07/12/2017 01:30

Today, like every day, I flushed a public toilet with my foot. Today, unlike every day, my foot missed the handle and landed in the unflushed water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 410

You deserved it 4 903

Wake up bark

By Anonymous - 26/03/2021 05:00 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, my mom taught her dog not to jump onto her bed without "asking". The dog figured that barking would be a good way to ask, and mostly feels the need to do that around 4 a.m. My room is right next to my mom’s, and I already have trouble sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 54

05/03/2012 10:28 - Canada

Today, I was woken up by my neighbour's dog losing its mind, and I remembered reading a story about someone ignoring a dog and later finding out that their car had been stolen. Paranoid, I went outside to check on mine. Nope. Just the damn dog barking at one thirty in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 432

You deserved it 4 045

14/03/2011 18:31 - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I pretended I wanted to buy something from a telemarketer so that they would keep talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 958

You deserved it 9 763

30/04/2018 20:30

Today, 5 minutes before closing, a customer was taking a bike from the row while I helped someone else. The customer ended up pushing the whole row down and left instantly without even apologizing. It took me about an hour to pick up the bikes and check for damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 526

You deserved it 196

05/04/2019 18:00

Today, I realised how little my husband trusts me after I told him I was pregnant and the first words out of his mouth were, “Is it mine?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 419

You deserved it 399

19/03/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying how I hated my job, I felt trapped, and that I was wasting my time working there. A few minutes later, she answered, "That's how I feel about our relationship." FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 637

You deserved it 7 914

02/04/2012 19:42 - United States

Today, in the midst of sleep, my boyfriend hurled my cellphone across the room and into the wall because he couldn't be bothered to pick up or hang up an incoming call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 370

You deserved it 3 320

21/05/2009 16:41 - Canada

Today, I woke up early to take my dog for a walk. I wore spandex shorts. I stopped to talk to several people I know and passed a group of hot construction workers who checked me out. I just got home and realized I have the biggest cameltoe I've ever seen in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 719

You deserved it 59 832

18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 194

You deserved it 38 013

29/10/2010 23:53 - United States

Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 101

You deserved it 6 878

15/03/2012 17:49 - United States

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 636

You deserved it 38 021

27/10/2011 04:00 - United States

Today, while dancing at my studio, our instructor was giving us all characters opposite of ourselves to portray in an improv solo. My friends got cool things like "creepy" and "vulnerable". I got "extremely sexy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 130

You deserved it 3 942

11/09/2012 07:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 115

You deserved it 3 041

01/10/2016 06:14 - United States - Tulare

Today, after I got the birth control implant, waited a week like my doctor told me, my fiancé is still too scared that I'll get pregnant. It's been 2 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 898

You deserved it 1 181

28/08/2014 22:39 - United States - Whittier

Today, my manager made everyone put up Christmas decorations around the store. As well as this, we're going to have Christmas music playing on repeat all the way through to January. It's not even September yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 366

You deserved it 3 019

19/10/2013 21:57 - United States

Today, we had to give a surprise speech in speech class on two of our best and closest friends. My first friend was my mom. I had to make up the other one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 200

You deserved it 5 260

08/01/2009 03:59 - Australia

Today, I met a really hot chick while waiting for the bus. We spoke for 4 hours till we got to our destination. She hugged me and we parted ways. Later that day I realised she stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 132

You deserved it 4 208

21/02/2009 22:11 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298 403

You deserved it 67 262

26/06/2010 14:23 - Canada

Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 661

You deserved it 8 944

28/06/2011 02:10 - United States

Today, I couldn't figure out what was worse: accidentally dropping my car keys into the bottom of a filthy park lake, or getting a fishhook through my toenail in an attempt to retrieve them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 829

You deserved it 5 096

26/04/2017 04:00

Today, after not showering with my boyfriend in 3 months, he called me in to the bathroom and asked me to shower with him. After getting excited and ripping my clothes off, I get in and he asks me to wash his hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 623

You deserved it 858

10/05/2014 21:32 - United States

Today, I found a bird that had fallen from its nest, so I made a new nest for it in a shoebox and put it as close to the old one as possible. When I checked back on it later, all I found was a chewed-up corpse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 784

You deserved it 6 176

10/10/2009 22:35 - United States

Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 221

You deserved it 47 398

08/11/2017 13:00 - United States

Today, during the birth of my first child, my epidural didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 110

You deserved it 453

Please love me

By shite - 10/01/2014 21:46 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 161

You deserved it 5 754

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Top comments

Hairpastafreckle 0

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Thursday 17 December 2009 12:18

Isn't there any way you can extend your stay? There's always the possibility of not going back home(:

QTp13 10

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Thursday 17 December 2009 12:30

Oh the irony...... *shakes head in disappointment*. This gives a whole new perspective on 'Murphy's Law'. FYL OP

Comments

Hairpastafreckle 0

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Thursday 17 December 2009 12:18

Isn't there any way you can extend your stay? There's always the possibility of not going back home(:

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Thursday 17 December 2009 15:57

I agree, your doing it to yourself for not trying harder. Stay, there should be a way. If there is a will there is a way. It's that or you really don't care as much as your saying.

ovrwhlmdbystupid 0

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Friday 18 December 2009 0:34

that's actually entirely untrue. if you're in a foreign country on a visa and it says "you must leave by X date," then you best be on a plane on/before that date, or you face deportation. this makes being in a long distance (international) relationship quite difficult. see: my life. haha. but well worth it, rest assured!

IStoleTheCookies 16

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Wednesday 9 February 2011 14:56

not to mention you can get into a lot of trouble if you don't go back home on the scheduled date as they see it as you trying to stay in the country to live.

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Thursday 20 September 2012 23:57

Were bouts in limeric r ya stayin I'm from Tipperary

QTp13 10

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Thursday 17 December 2009 12:30

Oh the irony...... *shakes head in disappointment*. This gives a whole new perspective on 'Murphy's Law'. FYL OP

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Thursday 17 December 2009 17:56

Nice one!!

DrAbe 0

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Friday 18 December 2009 10:20

indeed :)

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Monday 15 August 2011 3:30

what's op?

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Tuesday 6 September 2011 8:41

Official poster

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Sunday 21 October 2012 3:26

*original* poster.

WeStayCrunk24x7 0

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Thursday 17 December 2009 12:35

that sucks something hard, but i bet if you guys really like each other, you'll find away to see each other again. but about the alcohol thats just tough luck

dwire 0

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Thursday 17 December 2009 12:43

I don't know what this guy is talking about. I'm studying abroad in Ireland right now and the dollar is only slightly better within the last couple of days. It hasn't increased anywhere near 15%. And the price of alcohol DEFINITELY did NOT decrease. I am in Dublin, where it is exceptionally expensive, so I thought maybe it was in the west of the country. However, I googled "price of alcohol decreasing in Ireland" and google suggested Did you mean "price of alcohol INCREASING in Ireland?" They increase the price of alcohol all the time because Ireland is trying to discourage people from binge drinking with extremely high taxes. This FML is a fail.

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Thursday 17 December 2009 13:04

Well I m Irish and in the new Budget that was just announced last week the price of alcohol has gone down, bottle of wine down 60c, measures of spirits down 15c and pint s are down 12c

FatJesusIsMyKing 6

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Friday 1 July 2011 15:36

Oh ok so the part of Ireland you live in still sucks then? dosn't mean all of Ireland does bub...

mk58 31

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Monday 23 April 2012 20:30

No, you are a fail. Do not attempt to suggest that any FML is not up to par or else you will pay dearly (with free spirits for everyone?).

times_are_bad 0

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Thursday 17 December 2009 13:05

Sorry now I am from Ireland and the price of a drink has dropped by 12 cent. In no way is that 15%. We did the calculations, for every 42 drinks you buy you get 1 free. GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT!

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Thursday 17 December 2009 18:01

u did the calculations o_O .... wow fyl

DrAbe 0

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Friday 18 December 2009 10:18

haha nice

times_are_bad 0

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Thursday 17 December 2009 13:07

....

thunder_cumshots 0

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Thursday 17 December 2009 13:20

at least you get to leave stab city

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Thursday 17 December 2009 13:34

All these Ireland "experts" commenting here sound like they've been drinking. None of them can agree, lol!

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Thursday 17 December 2009 13:38

Or man, aren't you the Mike guy I smoked with couple weeks ago? I'm Richard, I gave you a smoke and you gave me Jameson? :D

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Thursday 17 December 2009 13:49

Clearly you've already spent too much time over there because your interest in alcohol appears to outweigh your interest in the girl.

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Thursday 17 December 2009 15:35

No, he's saying worse and worse things happen. If you say "today I died in a car crash and a bird did a poo on me FML" it doesnt sound exciting, because the worse part is over. If you say "today a bird did a poo on me and I died in a car crash FML" it sounds much better

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Thursday 17 December 2009 15:56

I don't know if it sounds better, I just wonder how you'd be able to tell that story lol!!!

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Saturday 24 March 2012 18:23

Beel! Sry just felt like posting that...

Nearly

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43

You deserved it 3

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 55

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 143