By ItWasHotAsBalls - 22/12/2016 00:56
The Top
By WiseGuy0481 - 19/12/2016 20:18 - United States
WiseGuy0481 tells us more.
By Ihavelike3bucks - 18/12/2016 13:51
Ihavelike3bucks tells us more.
Of course out of all the FMLs I've submitted through the years - this is the one that went through. Anyway, I'm better now! On top of that, I got hit with the flu like a truck. No laxatives, stool softeners, magnesium, enemas, etc helped and between that circle of hell I ended up going to the ER. Ended up literally tearing myself a new one with an anal fissure. I've never been constipated before so this was awful. Oh also my first day back, our entire building was shut down and we all were laid off. Happy Holidays everyone!
Panda
By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 01:32 - United States - Albuquerque
By Wheel chair bound - 16/12/2016 21:14 - United States - Marion
By Anonymous - 22/10/2015 19:02 - United States - San Francisco
By SmallTownCutie - 29/05/2019 04:13
Cartoonish
By mr_dinzaster - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
By weirded out - 11/08/2014 02:22 - United States - Brentwood
By Anonymous - 17/10/2010 05:55 - United States
By Bride to be - 19/05/2017 16:00 - United States - Dayton
Where's my shit?
By Still No Phone - 21/05/2017 18:00 - United States - Philadelphia
Newbie
By EggBomb - 01/12/2016 18:22
By M. Moore - 10/06/2019 18:00
Major headache
By Emily 1992 - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - United States - Klamath Falls
By Anonymous - 07/07/2014 01:27 - United States - Gournay-sur-marne
By AboutToBeHomeless - 03/11/2016 13:16
By chipmunk - 29/10/2009 05:20 - United States
By quick blow - 16/05/2012 02:53 - United States
By Anonymous - 25/10/2009 16:09 - United States
By anonymous - 24/09/2016 13:10 - United States - Federal Way
Sorry mate, you're on your own
By LivingBroke - 21/08/2017 20:01
Butter fingers
By flop of shame - 17/08/2019 16:00
By college will be fun they said - 16/09/2017 01:30 - United States - Baltimore
Unionize!
By Anonymous - 09/09/2019 04:00 - United States
By Caqtusmonkey - 25/08/2016 15:28 - United States - Arlington
Alexa, play Men's Needs by The Cribs
By Anonymous - 11/05/2021 06:01
Kinda sus, dude
By tee - 15/08/2016 13:54 - United States - Kansas City
Good job, team
By cam96 - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff
You good, lady?
By Eliza - 04/04/2012 03:40 - United States - San Antonio
Keywords
When we were together it was constant comments about how I was barely staying afloat and "how could I take care of her if I could barely take care of myself?". I was trying everything I could to make her happy but she would not let it go. It ended up being part of the reason we split. That was almost a year ago. I now work for a great company and make really good money. I just bought my car last month. I see her coming out of the store and all those talks came shooting back into my head. I just wanted her to see me happy and doing well....ok I wanted her to feel dumb and regret splitting up. Nevertheless I blared the music and slowly rolled right into a car backing out. Luckily it barely scratched it. I saw no regret in her eyes, laughter yes, regret no. So yes I deserved it. Karma sucks.