By weirded out - 11/08/2014 02:22 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 102
You deserved it 3 720

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Sweet promises? What, like "I promise it'll be over soon, you just look so tasty I could eat you up."


cryssycakesx3 22

gettin' that big Mac special sauce...

JMichael 25

I want to know if he named it Patty and sang a catchy musical number to it.

I can just picture him whispering "I shall call you squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my squishy."

Jessj958 19

#44 that was the first thing that came to mind after reading this! :)

Shhh, just be quiet and let it happen. I promise you'll like it.

I'd have passed by and "mistakenly" stuck a toothpick in the burger. Or mistakenly thrown a knife at it. Homicide!

Shame on you for wanting to crush a good relationship between man and burger.

Nah, seems like he had the situation under control.

tony1891 22

Someone forgot to take their meds ...or took the wrong one

Or he just has an intense love for burgers, I know I do.

Kyle1dc 17

or he probably forgot about pizza and ramen...

Sweet promises? What, like "I promise it'll be over soon, you just look so tasty I could eat you up."

I swear you're going to a better place!

markcallanan_ 20

Oh god, run for it while you still can.

Run for the burger? No way. He's having a romantic date with it.

the love between a man and his food is special.

crazytwinsmom 25

OP just be careful where you pet it, it might not like to be touched there ;)

Any cheesy quotes made to the burger?

Kyle1dc 17

Burger lover: Lettuce run away together! You mayo may not want to but we were made for each other. I want to ketchup with your heart.... OK I'm done now.

He's gonna be the one laughing when one of those things comes alive and enslaves the human race and he is the only one spared because of his loyalty.

I've heard of food sex but this is ridiculous.