By weirded out - 11/08/2014 02:22 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 035
You deserved it 3 707

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He's lovin' it.

Sweet promises? What, like "I promise it'll be over soon, you just look so tasty I could eat you up."


He's lovin' it.

Just wait 'til he takes it to bed

Customer be like "I can eat you all day"

gettin' that big Mac special sauce...

I want to know if he named it Patty and sang a catchy musical number to it.

pada pa pa paaaa

I can just picture him whispering "I shall call you squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my squishy."

#44 that was the first thing that came to mind after reading this! :)

He wanted it his way

Somebody needs help

Shhh, just be quiet and let it happen. I promise you'll like it.

I'd have passed by and "mistakenly" stuck a toothpick in the burger. Or mistakenly thrown a knife at it. Homicide!

Shame on you for wanting to crush a good relationship between man and burger.

Nah, seems like he had the situation under control.

Someone forgot to take their meds ...or took the wrong one

...or doesn't have any. yet.

Or he just has an intense love for burgers, I know I do.

or he probably forgot about pizza and ramen...

Sweet promises? What, like "I promise it'll be over soon, you just look so tasty I could eat you up."

I swear you're going to a better place!

Oh god, run for it while you still can.

Run for the burger? No way. He's having a romantic date with it.

the love between a man and his food is special.

Cheeseburger in paradise

OP just be careful where you pet it, it might not like to be touched there ;)

sounds delicious

Any cheesy quotes made to the burger?

Burger lover: Lettuce run away together! You mayo may not want to but we were made for each other. I want to ketchup with your heart.... OK I'm done now.

He's gonna be the one laughing when one of those things comes alive and enslaves the human race and he is the only one spared because of his loyalty.

I've heard of food sex but this is ridiculous.