By quick blow - 16/05/2012 02:53 - United States

Spicy
Today, I received an email from my girlfriend listing 10 ways to stop premature ejaculation. Subtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 839
You deserved it 7 314

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Top comments

1) Think about Bieber 2) Think about Bieber 3) Think about Bieber Etc etc

At least she is trying to work through it with you instead of simply cheating or dumping you!

Comments

Think of someone like Oprah, or anyone of equal disgustingness.

What are you talking about? Oprah is fine as hell!!!

Think about Human Centipede 2?

Think of Dr. Phil.

She's jizz trying to help you…

#22 Good point. Just hearing the name of that movie gives me a shudder.

22- I watched that movie.. and I thought precious hours were lost on the first movie.. nothing could have prepared me for the second..

ugh, the human centipede? after watching the first movie, I had no doubt that I wasn't gonna bother watching the second. ew.

Hey now, let's not BLOW this way out of proportion. Apparently she's CUM to the conclusion that you JIZZ need a little extra help. It's for the best!

70, you're about as subtle as OP's girlfriend.

That would make his dick retract into his abdominal cavity. Little excessive.

No point in crying over spilt milk

70- All I heard is Ima perv ima perv ima perv and desperate desperate desperate

it's about quality, not quantity!

17- Uh..... You should read the FML again.... heheh... Yeah... *awkward laugh*

25- maybe you should.. I'm saying that the girl is silly because it's about how good something is, not how much you get. so i reread it, and I stick by my comment. so what are you talking about? :)

30- Oh, nevermind, I processed it differently. I read it if as if you were talking about size. I apologize.

Well, if the "quality" was there to begin with, I doubt the OP would have received such an email. Apparently it's a touchy subject to talk about face to face for some. Could probably been handled a better way than an email, though. (:

that's okay :-) I forgive you!

"I'm saying that the girl is silly because it's about how good something is, not how much you get." True. But she didn't mailed '10 ways to have sex at much as possible', did she? So I doubt it's about quantity. My guess is that OP comes so soon that she does not find the sex good. No quantity and no quality, that's imho reason to complain. I know I wouldn't be satisfied if my partner could only last for five minutes, that's for sure. And yeah, OP, it's not very subtle of her. But in her defense, some things can't be said in a subtle way and "Puh-lease, last longer!" is one of them.

MY guess is that you can't take a joke. whoops, silly me for thinking I could post a comment without getting contradicted. :)

47: I understood what you meant, some people on FML have nothing better to do then to nitpick at every single comment. ah :')

...Joke? What joke? *reads comment again* Nope, I still doesn't see a joke, tüt mir leid.

ah das ist alles gute schatz ;) did you use a translator for that?

ebbonyy, there's really no need to act like a snob. Of course you're going to get contradicted on a comment that doesn't really relate to "quality".. i don't care if I'm sleeping with Hugh Hefner (who I'm assuming knows his stuff), if he's only lasting 2 minutes then "quality" isn't the problem is it? it's premature ejaculation.

56- she was just making a joke. if she'd wrote 'doesn't matter, had sex' or some other overused joke, then sure, call her a snob for being annoyed. but if she's just writing a jokey comment and people rip into her, of course she'd be annoyed. EVERYONE RELAX.

Hey darling, I live in Belgium, you know, that little country between England, France, Germany and the Netherlands? I dois spreche al those langues, wissen u? And please, enlighten me, where is the joke that everyone but me seems to see in your comment? Is it 'quality above quantity'? Such a killer. Or 'the girl is silly'? Hilarious.

I can't stand when people try to cover up their thumbs down by saying "but I'm only joking!"

I'm actually thinking that op deserves it for being mad at this. It probably wasn't the best way his girlfriend could have mentioned it but, it's better for anyone in a relationship to talk about what's bothering you and what can make sex feel better for you than to just let it be.

Hey could you post a link in the comments or something? Not that it matters though ;)

1) Think about Bieber 2) Think about Bieber 3) Think about Bieber Etc etc

The awkward moment when you get hard again from thinking about justin bieber...

Thinking of Bieber could (and should) seriously back fire and cause him to go completely flaccid

I dunno doc, Bieber kinda looks like a girl. It might just make things worse...

6 kinda looks like a female beiber...

Today, my boyfriend screamed out Justin Bieber at the top of his lungs while he finished after only 2 minutes of intercourse. FML

37- NO! You can't compare a Korean with bieber! That's just wrong!!!

Thumb me down if you must because I'm also embarrassed to say this ha, however that Boyfriend song is pretty smooth. :|

As soon as I heard that song.. I could not stop laughing.

Careful, Doc. We don't want him going completely flaccid.

But if he goes flaccid, then he's sure to last more than 2 minutes, right? Um...right?

I don't mind him or his music all that much, but I have NO idea why most girls my age are in love with him or wanting to marry him. -__- Seriously, he's not even hot or has "swag". He's not worth having 50+ posters of himself in your room. I know girls who have that and it's creepy having all these Bieber posters all around the room staring at me all at once. *shakes head*

Why does everyone have problems with J B?

61, when I heard it the first time, I thought justin timberlake was back... I was extremely disappointed to find that I was only half right...

116- I thought it was timberland too!!

116 - I thought it was a little black kid at first. 121 - Timberland is a rapper. Maybe a producer too, but he's not a former Nsync member. (or was is the Backstreet boys?)

116, yeah I thought it was Justin Timberlake too, only realized when I saw the video. I am a big JT fan so maybe there's hope for little Beibs yet! Oh dear, can't believe I said that, going to spank myself.

....and one direction.

Plot twist - he already does that and that's why he is done so quick

It may only last 2 minutes, but it's probably the best 2 minutes of her life.

No, it's the best 2 min. of HIS life.

OP sometimes a little push just wont do it

I suggest you take notes.

at 4....I doubt it... she's probably just getting started / into it and he's done already. Been there, done that and got the t.shirt but I never made him feel bad for it...

At least she is trying to work through it with you instead of simply cheating or dumping you!

Ooh i like someone with brains! ... Just out of curiosity, do you like brains?

For breakfast, lunch, and dinner !

"Brain food" is taken literally, huh? I don't like you zombies too much, nothin' personal torwards you. .. It's just, my brother forced me to watch Night Of The Living Dead when i was a kid.

We're really just very misunderstood and perpetually hungry.

I agree. A lot of women would have bailed by now, you're lucky she's trying to help. You might be sensitive to the issue but you have to accept that while it sucks, there is something that can be done about it. It's upsetting her enough to try to fix the problem which means you'd better work on it or she's probably going to eventually leave you. Women get sexually frustrated too.

Well, at least she's sending you ways of helping the situation privately instead of calling you out in public or something similar.

I agree. she was probably too embarrassed to bring it up in person. I don't think she was doin it to be mean just to make your sex life better

#43 - Nice job at repeating exactly what #8 just fucking said. A simple, "I agree" would have suffice.

#51... A bit harsh considering the comments weren't the same at all. One says At least she didn't call him out in public over it avoiding embarrassment for HIM. The other says perhaps SHE was too embarrassed.... Geeez, chill out ! xx

Like the way you called yourself out in public.

Doesn't matter had sex

She better not be sending me any emails either. Get those "wanna last longer?" emails all the time. :@.

Maybe someones trying to tell you something

At least she's doing something about it! (;