Today, after boiling eggs my whole life, I wanted to try a packaged hard-boiled egg for the first time. I'd never had a cold egg before, so I thought it would be a good idea to warm it up. Now, I'm cleaning out a billion pieces of egg shrapnel in the microwave. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML
Today, one of the kids I was babysitting tried to hard boil eggs using the microwave. You cannot hard boil eggs using the microwave. It makes a mess. This we have learned. FML
Today, I made scrambled eggs. Returning the rest of the carton, I tripped and spilled 10 raw eggs all over the inside of the fridge. The same fridge I spent 2 hours cleaning and scrubbing every drawer and shelf of yesterday. FML
Today, I cracked an egg which turned out to have an extremely thin shell, so at first contact with the bowl, it came apart in my hand and the contents glooped right through my fingers, all the way down the kitchen cabinet, into a half-open drawer, as well as onto the floor and underneath the cabinet. FML
Today, I found out you really can burn down a kitchen by boiling an egg. FML
Today, while I was in the shower, my 4 year-old son wondered what would happen if he put 6 eggs in the microwave. FML
Today, I cracked an egg with a disgusting rotten black yolk into the pan, ruining my almost done breakfast. Last time this happened, just coincidentally, two deaths in the family and a near deadly mental breakdown followed. Now eggs seem too gross to eat, and I’m afraid this time was another bad omen. FML
Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML
Today, as I was running late for work, I asked my husband to pack me some hard boiled eggs for lunch. When I went on my lunch break, I went to crack my eggs only to discover they were completely raw. When confronted, my husband said, “Well you didn’t say I had to cook them first!” FML
Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
If you need help gathering the pieces, I've heard all the king's horses and all the king's men are pretty good. Note: if you want the egg put back to together again, however, you'll need to look elsewhere.
MrEldritch 14
Shouldn't have left the shell on, the steam buildup inside the egg makes it explode. Although, I have heard that it is possible to actually hard-boil eggs in the oven...
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Comments (29)
aragmir 13
I don't think I need to tell you eggsactly what went wrong here.
MrEldritch 14
Shouldn't have left the shell on, the steam buildup inside the egg makes it explode. Although, I have heard that it is possible to actually hard-boil eggs in the oven...
samwilliams800 28
You can do so and I have. Best damn eggs ever!
imagineapc 11
Any hard boiled egg will explode in the microwave - I fell victim to it myself the other night! Hard boiled egg, no shell, and the need for several Lysol wipes. Whoops!
SneezyBear 27
Apparently there is a work-around to this: poke a small hole using a pin or smth in both ends of the egg. I tried it while on holiday with only a microwave to 'cook' anything with, but alas, it still exploded. Anyone here able to/willing to attest to the success of this trick? Did I miss something? XD
mmswag 3
That's eggsactly what you shouldn't do!
juuuliaaa_fml 28
I mean you really didn't see that happening?
Tripartita 45
I was wondering what you meant. Thanks for explaining what you mean.
Lalala579121 28
Yes, I'm sure OP did see the egg exploding in their microwave.
NoThanksHonestly 6
Far be it from me to f e e d on your misfortune, but you should've known how long to warm it to prevent it blowing up. I'd recommend using an egg timer next time.
TheRareDoge 12
Dang..I would have freaked tf out. That sucks OP.
Tripartita 45
If you need help gathering the pieces, I've heard all the king's horses and all the king's men are pretty good. Note: if you want the egg put back to together again, however, you'll need to look elsewhere.
elgatobob16 11
You know that the song never mentions that Humpty is an egg? I read that somewhere.
hellobobismyname 24
#19 - But he is always drawn as an egg, in practically every nursery rhyme book or media he is featured in.
thefmlman2011 37
hahahah! That's brilliant.
Lalala579121 28
I prefer to think of him as a human, with his body parts strewn all over the place. Then they try to make him into a sort of Frankenstein's monster.
domolovesyoshi 33
I absolutely enjoy almost every one of your replies.
trevorr_16 25
#26 agreed.
BlameTheOwls 14
Supposedly Humpty was actually a cannon.
Talented73 54
YDI. Using a microwave oven is good with certain foods, and very poor for others. Eggs are in that second group.
RichardPencil 32
I guess the yolk's on you!
28actress 22
I actually like them better cold! Never be afraid to try new things ;)