By ItWasHotAsBalls - 22/12/2016 00:56
The Top
By WiseGuy0481 - 19/12/2016 20:18 - United States
WiseGuy0481 tells us more.
By Ihavelike3bucks - 18/12/2016 13:51
Ihavelike3bucks tells us more.
Of course out of all the FMLs I've submitted through the years - this is the one that went through. Anyway, I'm better now! On top of that, I got hit with the flu like a truck. No laxatives, stool softeners, magnesium, enemas, etc helped and between that circle of hell I ended up going to the ER. Ended up literally tearing myself a new one with an anal fissure. I've never been constipated before so this was awful. Oh also my first day back, our entire building was shut down and we all were laid off. Happy Holidays everyone!
Panda
By Anonymous - 24/10/2015 01:32 - United States - Albuquerque
By Wheel chair bound - 16/12/2016 21:14 - United States - Marion
By Anonymous - 22/10/2015 19:02 - United States - San Francisco
Crime wave
By Anonymous - 05/05/2009 05:43 - United States
By Mightytall - 01/06/2019 10:27
Mightytall tells us more.
Yay! My first ever published fml! What did I do? I showed him how to hold the paper and told him he needs to wipe with new paper until it stays clean. And that if he does not, he will run around smelly and eventually risk getting an infection. The whole time he looked me straight in the eyes and listened intently, but the only thing that really stuck was apparently the part where I said that a really bad infection can cause him to lose parts of his popo in the worst case. So ya, FML
By weirded out - 11/08/2014 02:22 - United States - Brentwood
Newbie
By EggBomb - 01/12/2016 18:22
By noexceptions - 11/11/2009 05:16 - United States
By shawty_x - 26/04/2009 12:35 - United Kingdom
Long haul
By ripped off and blown out - 08/06/2017 00:00
Worst threesome ever
By Anonymous - 06/03/2021 11:02
By Getmeout - 31/05/2012 06:50 - United States - Hartfield
Oh, hi Mark!
By DepressedKid - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada
By Crash44 - 08/07/2019 02:03
By Anonymous - 07/07/2014 01:27 - United States - Gournay-sur-marne
By Claire - 29/09/2010 05:59 - Australia
By AboutToBeHomeless - 03/11/2016 13:16
By maggierose171 - 19/05/2012 15:08 - United States - Rosendale
Marvel Comics
By Anonymous - 14/07/2011 16:52 - United States
So many questions
By Anonymous - 24/03/2021 13:59
Teaching moment
By poolboy - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
It's just a prank, bro!
By Anonymous - 13/05/2012 12:15 - United States - Hanover
By anonymous - 24/09/2016 13:10 - United States - Federal Way
Eye bleach
By deardaughter - 14/08/2019 06:00 - Australia
Quick thinking
By rolyat - 01/05/2012 16:41 - United States - Rochester
By dyingtinkerbell - 18/10/2009 11:14 - Australia
By fired - 13/05/2014 14:29 - United States - Millis
Keywords
When we were together it was constant comments about how I was barely staying afloat and "how could I take care of her if I could barely take care of myself?". I was trying everything I could to make her happy but she would not let it go. It ended up being part of the reason we split. That was almost a year ago. I now work for a great company and make really good money. I just bought my car last month. I see her coming out of the store and all those talks came shooting back into my head. I just wanted her to see me happy and doing well....ok I wanted her to feel dumb and regret splitting up. Nevertheless I blared the music and slowly rolled right into a car backing out. Luckily it barely scratched it. I saw no regret in her eyes, laughter yes, regret no. So yes I deserved it. Karma sucks.