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Spicing things up is ok but you and her should talk about what things can be done this way neither of you are doing something that your uncomfortable doing.
As for you smacking her butt and her crying maybe you hit her harder then you meant to and she got hurt.
I think consent was the issue. Ask her if she’s into it first, if she is, go for it! If not, maybe dirty talking might be more her style. Just ask :)
How hard did you hit her? You should start off light and let them say, "Harder, sir."