Keep fit!

By anonymous - 13/04/2020 02:00

Spicy
Today, my girlfriend and I were on the phone. She heard I was out of breath and asked me, "Are you okay?" I didn't have the heart to tell her that she'd caught me masturbating, and I'm so out of shape it sounded like I'd ran a marathon. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 362
You deserved it 1 642
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Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Tell her you have coronavirus and she'll feel sorry for you, and you'll get 14 days to ********** in peace.

8 2
LauraLaik 15

I don’t think the problem isn’t that he was masturbating. As I understand it, he feels bad/guilty for being so out of shape and doesn’t want his girlfriend to know.

4 0

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tell her you have coronavirus and she'll feel sorry for you, and you'll get 14 days to ********** in peace.

8 2
Lennie Mcfish 19

so? if you ********** you **********, who cares?

7 3
RichardPencil 30

Girlfriends and wives sometimes care. They feel they have first dibs on your baby batter. You can't just shoot it into a sock without giving them a chance.

2 0
LauraLaik 15

I don’t think the problem isn’t that he was masturbating. As I understand it, he feels bad/guilty for being so out of shape and doesn’t want his girlfriend to know.

4 0
Yudith 24

Tell her you tried to jog into your apartment. She will congratulate you for starting to get back in shape for bikini season.

3 0
sickerthanyou 13

At least she didn’t accuse you of boning someone else while on the phone with her

3 0
WistayShlaio82 13

You get out of breath just from masturbation? I’m so sorry.

1 0
BLACKHEART46101 10

That's still better than your crush calling right as you are about to finish.

0 0