Money, Cars and Accident: Lawyer up

Lawyer up

By gnofin - 22/03/2016 21:23 - United States

Today, I was walking out of a grocery store. I hit the button on my key to open the trunk, which hit an old lady just under her chin and knocked her to the ground. As she laid there, she pointed a shaky, bony finger at me and yelled that she would sue me for everything I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 547

You deserved it 3 028

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Same thing different taste

By dxplq876 - 17/03/2009 03:13 - United States

Today, I was walking out of the grocery store and out of no where, a car backing up pretty fast speeds downs the parking lot and hits me, causing me to fall down and drop all of the groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 905

You deserved it 4 673

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 976

You deserved it 1 800

By Lucas79 - 08/10/2011 01:23 - Australia

Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 239

You deserved it 3 435

Hey lady! Chill!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2011 21:17 - United States

Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 379

You deserved it 3 034

By Tom - 25/11/2010 13:28

Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 167

You deserved it 2 578

By Anonymous - 11/05/2010 15:04 - Netherlands

Today, an old lady asked me the way to the shopping mall. The shopping mall was not too far away, but I could see that the lady could barely walk so I offered to drive her there. She smacked my car's door into a pole while getting in my car. She didn't even notice that she'd done something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 762

You deserved it 5 709

Smooth criminal

By Anonymous - 28/04/2012 01:55 - United States - Darien

Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 664

You deserved it 2 575

By crawforda350 - 12/09/2017 16:00

Today, while stocking up in preparation for Hurricane Irma, an old lady hit me over the head with her walker. She wanted the loaf of bread I'd grabbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 541

You deserved it 256

Freakout!

By beer guy - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 527

You deserved it 2 567

By roadkill - 28/02/2011 15:50 - United States

Today, an old lady hit me with her car, after which she said, "Oh! Not again!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 283

You deserved it 2 825

EBA2013_fml 12

Wednesday 23 March 2016 16:35

Why was she so close to your car in the first place?

darshini_ii 24

Wednesday 23 March 2016 16:37

Why didn't you check if somebody was around? Though she doesn't really have any grounds to sue you, you should have apologised. Hope you did OP.

Comments

EBA2013_fml 12

Wednesday 23 March 2016 16:35

Why was she so close to your car in the first place?

oreoeater 21

Wednesday 23 March 2016 17:40

It does sound awfully suspicious

gabimk23 13

Wednesday 23 March 2016 20:04

plus trunks don't even open all that fast

Marcella1016 31

Wednesday 23 March 2016 20:46

Sounds like OP has an SUV. Those don't open straight up like a car trunk, but open out backward. In grocery store parking lots, people generally walk near the parked cars while walking to/from the entrance, so as not to be in the way of the other cars going by looking for parking spaces. Sounds to me like this was a perfect storm of events that unfortunately combined at the most inopportune time. F the lady's life and F your life, OP.

CrassKal 27

Wednesday 23 March 2016 21:51

28, I've seen how fast certain old people move. It wouldn't surprise me if one of them couldn't escape a slow moving car door. That being said, I'm not sure if the doors have enough force behind them to knock someone down. OP if she's is serious look and see if there are records of her suing other people over "accidents", some people actually make a career of this.

ohSNAPyall 26

Thursday 24 March 2016 0:16

You mean Nancy Drew? Women can -think- like Sherlock Holmes.

Mojayokok 7

Sunday 11 June 2017 8:21

Exactly! This make absolutely no sense, she would have to be literally leaning over the trunk area. #QuitYourBullshit

darshini_ii 24

Wednesday 23 March 2016 16:37

Why didn't you check if somebody was around? Though she doesn't really have any grounds to sue you, you should have apologised. Hope you did OP.

staminprime 12

Wednesday 23 March 2016 18:11

what makes you think OP didnt apologize. i honestly have to wonder why she was so close. most trunks only swing straight up. if its a hatch back then it would swing a couple of feet. but not with that much force

arsinic 18

Wednesday 23 March 2016 16:38

Sounds staged to me

HoboMeth 33

Wednesday 23 March 2016 16:45

She's probably one of those people who hops out in front of cars and gets hit. Then she sues for a living.

Bansheefaerie 9

Wednesday 23 March 2016 16:46

how did she manage to get so close to the trunk for that to happen? sounds like a freak accident to me.

ssnow_fml 20

Wednesday 23 March 2016 16:46

just toss her half a piece of gum and say "this is all I got for ya"

Raekwon_fml 8

Wednesday 23 March 2016 16:55

There is nothing she can sue for here. It's not negligence because there is no proximate cause. It's not foreseeable that somebody will have their face that close to your trunk and receive an injury from you opening it like that.