The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By Anonymous - 25/12/2012 01:31 - United States - Danbury

Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only people who celebrate Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 306

You deserved it 2 902

By holycrap - 03/03/2010 05:37 - United States

Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 892

You deserved it 2 808

By irony - 16/08/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 968

You deserved it 9 374

Deadbeat

By Anonymous - 19/08/2021 17:59

Today, I reached a year and a half of working from home by myself, while taking care of my baby, since my boyfriend left me when we got pregnant. Something he’d always pushed for. Guess in the end it was just me doing the pushing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 210

By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 21:49 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 460

You deserved it 6 549

Safe as milk

By unsurprised - 28/02/2010 10:51 - United States

Today, I visited my friend in a nasty part of town. When I saw the shattered window of the car next to me, and the missing stereo, I moved my car to a safer location. Luckily, though, I have a common car, so the thieves were able to jimmy the lock and steal my stereo without making any noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 766

You deserved it 3 234

There goes the neighborhood

By Lorky - 08/05/2020 02:00 - United States

Today, I received an email from the office of the apartment complex I moved into two months ago. Apparently, a woman a few apartments down from mine was murdered. Time to pack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 153

By Anonymous - 18/12/2012 07:48 - United States

Today, I saw a man in an army uniform. As a bit of a patriot, I went up to thank him for his service. After about 10 minutes of me going on and on, he started laughing. He wasn't a soldier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 573

You deserved it 29 966

Major red flag

By Karissa - 24/08/2021 10:01

Today, I confronted my boyfriend about him and his female friend’s friendship making me uncomfortable. He responded by throwing the mother of all fits and punching a hole in the wall. He said I have to pay for the repair, because I "made him do it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 358

You deserved it 166

Not in the mood

By Sad lady - 29/03/2024 20:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found out my husband is sleeping with someone else, all because we haven’t had sex in a long time. He says, “Jerking off is too much work” and “I signed up to marry a human with a sex drive, not an emotionless robot.” He left out the fact that I’m grieving my mother’s death. Thanks for the support, Honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 845

You deserved it 424

National bard

By bad poet - 02/12/2013 01:57 - United States - Millerton

Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 778

You deserved it 4 670

Proactive

By Anonymous - 17/05/2020 20:00

Today, my fiancé left to take care of his little sister who lives alone and recently got COVID-19. To be cautious, he will remain there for weeks until he tests negative. Feeling lonely, I texted my mom for comfort. She immediately canceled our engagement party this summer instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 197

You deserved it 539

By Anonymous - 14/12/2012 00:51 - Australia - Kew

Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 586

You deserved it 3 727

Busting makes me feel good

By thewordsicantsay - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, while waiting to do a presentation in class, I felt someone flick my back, but when I turned around no one was there. It wasn't until I got up in front of the whole class that I felt my bra slowly sliding down my body. Turns out that the "flick" I felt was actually my bra clasp busting open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 877

You deserved it 3 447

Not such a great friend

By Anonymous - 21/11/2022 02:00

Today, I was looking at my best friend because I zoned out, I then turned around to look at my dog. When I looked back, he was on one knee, saying that, “This is terrible timing but I’ve always loved you, will you marry me?” Two days before my wedding with my fiancé. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 595

You deserved it 192

By anonymous - 28/11/2013 11:41 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, I found out that since there are 3 people with the same name as me at work, I'm known as "the ugly one". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 549

You deserved it 3 573

Baseless assumption

By Greymoya - 24/02/2010 14:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was very sick, and my boyfriend was taking care of me at his parents' house. I was laying on the couch, innocently watching a movie while he rubbed my feet, when his stepmother came home from work. She freaked out, accused us of having it off on her couch, and kicked me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 794

You deserved it 2 615

Anyone for cake?

By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 17:15 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend's mom's surprise birthday party. I was sent to pick up the very expensive cake and dozens of balloons. Not only was it windy and the balloons flew away, I tripped and dropped the cake. In the driveway in front of all their family and friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 685

You deserved it 7 917

By fack - 26/11/2013 18:35 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 561

You deserved it 10 196

Good morals, you say?

By ELinDawk - 31/08/2021 01:01

Today, I think I found the person I feel is my soulmate while I was in Montana this past weekend. My friend’s wife’s best friend. She was perfect, same sense of humor, same sarcasm, good morals, and absolutely gorgeous. I was struck. And then I received a text message from my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 2 603

By fuggers :/ - 24/11/2013 21:38 - United Kingdom - Basingstoke

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 606

You deserved it 3 823

Incognito browsing

By Anonymous - 26/05/2020 23:00

Spicy

Today, my dad is super overprotective and can view my search history through his phone. I'd downloaded the Google app to be able search for things he wouldn't approve of. I just realized I've been making all these searches on my school account. I go to a private school and they can view my search history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 2 500

By Coley - 29/01/2009 22:46 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 996

You deserved it 3 704

Game on

By sasquatch21 - 21/02/2010 13:36 - Bahrain

Today, I realized that my husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only for me to witness him being glued to his laptop all day and all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 715

You deserved it 5 938

Brave and honest

By Anonymous - 10/04/2024 22:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I realized that the woman I love, who is my best friend, deserves better than me at the nadir of my life. We're still just friends, but she's been a much better friend to me than I have been to her. It's time to disappear and fix myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 452

By gimpy - 04/01/2012 16:55 - United States

Today, I had to cut short my New Year's resolution of going to the gym daily, when the meathead next to me dropped some heavy weights, which bounced and landed on my foot. I'm sitting at home in a cast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 874

You deserved it 2 490

Mucho sexy

By icareaboutmyhair - 28/02/2011 15:27 - Estonia

Spicy

Today, I discovered that I have dandruff, which I've never had before. I googled the possible reasons, some being depression and hormones. Not only have I not had sex for a year, but it's also the reason I have dandruff. And apparently I'm depressed. How sexy is that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 845

You deserved it 6 837

I'm not a kid

By Babyface - 02/09/2021 20:01

Today, I've come to accept that I'll likely never be intimidating or taken seriously, because despite being 6'3" and 205 lbs, I have the face of a 12 year-old. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 139

By kcountry92 - 18/11/2013 03:19 - United States - Mission

Today, I was jogging on my farm when I discovered a cave. Unfortunately for me, I discovered said cave by tripping and falling into it where there was still a 10ft drop to the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 798

You deserved it 3 203

kcountry92 tells us more.

kcountry92 15

Monday 18 November 2013 20:47

Hey everyone! I'm the lucky accidental cave explorer and I'm also alright from the fall, just a little bruised. It is a beautiful cave and, as soon as I can find the time, I'm going to go back into it and see if it connects to the 2 other caves on my property. The irony of the situation is that I was part of a Caving Grotto where I live and had just come out of another new cave just a couple hours before this happened. To answer a question I saw, I happen to rock climb as well, so getting out of the cave wasn't as rough as getting into it lol.

By ldbella - 27/02/2011 08:42 - United States

Today, I decided to do a word search in my daughter's Hello Kitty coloring book. It took me 30 minutes to find 6 words in a kids coloring book for ages 1 and up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 313

You deserved it 36 455

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Cats Cooking Animals Love Nice Guys Money Politics Instagram Awkward Social Media Health Poopoo peepee Food Weekend Relatable Doctor Work Cars Transportation Miscellaneous Friends Parents Video games Jealousy Liar My ex NSFW Intimacy Art Crush

The Top

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 922

You deserved it 7 669

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 011

You deserved it 252 166

Random

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 817

You deserved it 74 126

Today, at work, two teenage girls caused a huge scene and told me to get lost, after I asked if they needed any help. Their reasoning: they didn't want to be helped by "someone who doesn't have a thigh gap." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 276

You deserved it 3 699

Today, my friend had to leave work early for a funeral. As he was on his way out, I wanted to say something. All I could think of was, "Have fun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 776

You deserved it 22 754

Today, in my tidy, small-town neighborhood, I parked my car 50 metres further back from my usual spot just across from our house on a half-empty public street, because it was taken. Apparently, someone didn't appreciate this. So much so, they put a used condom under my windshield wiper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 542

You deserved it 138

Today, while riding the train, some druggie got into a dispute with some random passengers. Even though I didn't even look at them fighting, he decided I was a threat and punched me, a pregnant woman, and some bikers. Now I've got a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 950

You deserved it 155

Today, I got home from work to the news my daughter and stepson are dating, and having sex, which is weird but not illegal, since they’re not related. My wife however is blaming me, because I apparently didn’t let her discipline them harshly enough when they were teenagers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 320