Miscellaneous: Today, I was jogging on my farm when I discovered a cave. Unfortunately...

By kcountry92 - United States - Mission

Today, I was jogging on my farm when I discovered a cave. Unfortunately for me, I discovered said cave by tripping and falling into it where there was still a 10ft drop to the bottom. FML

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kcountry92 tells us more :

Hey everyone! I'm the lucky accidental cave explorer and I'm also alright from the fall, just a little bruised. It is a beautiful cave and, as soon as I can find the time, I'm going to go back into it and see if it connects to the 2 other caves on my property. The irony of the situation is that I was part of a Caving Grotto where I live and had just come out of another new cave just a couple hours before this happened. To answer a question I saw, I happen to rock climb as well, so getting out of the cave wasn't as rough as getting into it lol.

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By SnappyMcOuches

Today, I found out that I not only dislocated two bones in my foot, but also fractured one of those two bones and snapped the other. How did this happen? I tripped over a single stair walking from the bar to the beer garden. I didn't even get to drink anything. FML

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By iamlauraheremecry - United States

Today, my power went out due to a huge snow storm. I was in desperate need of candles and flashlights. I had to walk to the store since the roads were closed. I walked 4 miles in the blizzard. When I got home, the power came back on. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML

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By Cerezo - Guatemala

Today, as I woke up early to do my physics homework, I heard my parents talk about how big a disappointment I am for them. They discussed how stupid, immature and how big a burden I was. They knew I was listening. FML

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By Cooper491 - Australia

Today, I was at a bar with my friend, when I noticed a young lad at a table near to us. I thought it'd be funny to jeer and flick peanuts at him. I went to the restroom, only to come back to my friend face-down on the floor. Turns out the guy fucked him up instead, and now he won't talk to me. FML

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By Jonathan Park - Canada - Richmond Hill

Karaoke Dinner Disaster

Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Duncannon

Today, the McDonald's in my town ran out of fries. I was the one who had to tell all the angry customers we had no more fries in the store. FML

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By omgboobs - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML

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By Simon Cowell

Today, I realised my teeth are so stained that they look cleaner when I've not brushed them. FML

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By master baiter - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I was at a job interview for a position I really needed. Somehow, the interviewer and I started talking about fishing. I joked, "I'm a master baiter." Needless to say, I didn't get the job. FML

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By Tyler - United States

Today, I work at McDonald's. The entire crew, myself included, got visibly excited that we had new trash cans and dust pans. FML

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By Tal - United States

Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/3/2021 19:59 - United States - San Jose

The Teaching Life

Today, being incredibly ill after my second COVID shot, I called in sick for maybe the third time in 10 years (I teach). That didn’t stop parents from calling and messaging to scream at me because they weren’t happy. I had to drag myself out of bed and do work in between throwing up. I feel even worse now. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Canberra

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

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By meowitzer - 22/4/2020 05:02

All over the place

Today, a close, funny friend who has quite the attitude, received a long email from a long-time friend of hers, telling her how difficult she is. When I told her it doesn’t matter, that she is still wonderful, she went off on how bad a friend I am for saying that, and then deleted me off WhatsApp. FML

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By heya - Australia - Sydney

Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML

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By AGeeksWife - United States - Saukville

Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, it is both my birthday and Easter. My whole family came into town and my mom made a big dinner with all of my favorite foods. After church, I took a nap. When I woke up, all the food, including my cake, was gone. No one thought to wake me up. FML

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By ugh - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I went to an important job interview. I was really anxious but tried to soldier on anyway. When I was called in, my nerves got so bad that I reverted to speaking my second language. Not first, second. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting the job. FML

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By spider-sarah - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I found out the hard way that if you leave your sheets on the washing line too long, spiders will go and make their new home in them. FML

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By pinky - Australia

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

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By awkwardd - Hong Kong

Today, I went shopping with my cousin. Walking down the road, I heard her say "Can you hold my hand?" I was confused, but thought it was cute, so I held her hand and kept walking. It turns out she'd asked me to hold her bag. We didn't say another word after that. FML

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By Anonyme - France - Lyon

Today, Murphy's law didn't check out: my piece of toast didn't fall on the side containing the spread of jam. However, when I leaned against the corner of the table to pick it up, I knocked a full ashtray on top of it. FML

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By well, now what - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after he received a text with a bunch of hearts on it. After arguing, turns out it was from me. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I had to do an assignment about my greatest achievement and about an award I've received. I don't have either. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was feeling pretty, so I wore a skirt for the first time in years. Two hours later, my thighs hurt from slapping together so much. I no longer feel pretty. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I ordered takeout. When I looked in the bag, I saw they'd included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, then estimated that there must be at least four people eating such a large meal. I was eating alone. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Waterville

Today, I had to babysit both my neighbor's 3-year-old daughter and my very pregnant cat. I left the room briefly, only to come back to a traumatized 3-year-old crying in horror as my cat gave birth in front of her. FML

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By pixie09 - United States

Today, I got sentenced to 20 hours community service for having a boy in my room an hour after floor hours. If I don't do the community service, I could get kicked out of the dorm and put on probation at my college. We were breaking up. FML

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By edible - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend and sent her an Edible Arrangement. When she called to tell me she had gotten it, she was more excited about the cute boy who delivered it than she was about the fruit bouquet. FML

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By Chipper

Today, my girlfriend and I were laying in bed. She rolled over and began rubbing my chest. She then said, "Wow babe those are a solid B-cup." FML

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By skygardens

Today, I had just gotten home after being away for 8 months. My key didn’t work on my lock and while I was messing the door a man with a child opened. My landlord gave someone my apartment while I was away. FML

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By easyontheeyes1 - 1/5/2020 02:00

Romantic afterglow

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML

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By holymoly - Canada - Calgary

Today, my grandparents took me out for dinner for my birthday. After singing, "Happy birthday dear..." they froze. I had to say my own name because they'd forgotten it. FML

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By lance - Canada

Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML

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By Neuronerd - United States - Richmond

Today, my Uber driver tried to detour my trip home to take me on a date to Waffle House, even after I showed zero interest and talked about my boyfriend non-stop. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Raleigh

Today, my mom proudly told me that she found the perfect thing to combat my B.O. Extra strength degreaser. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I got up at 8am and didn't take a shower so I could hear the postman at the door. He never came. I stink. FML

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By Juliet

Today, I auditioned for my school's production of Romeo and Juliet. When they announced that I got the part as Juliet, all the guys auditioning for Romeo suddenly disappeared. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/9/2020 11:01 - Canada

Smoked

Today, I washed my clothes in the shared laundry room. All my clothes came out smelling like smoke. FML

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Top comments

By enddmd | 27

#5758762 - Monday 18 November 2013 12:25

Sounds like the start of an awesome movie series to me...

By Sandsh8rk | 36

#5759360 - Monday 18 November 2013 21:49

Great to hear! But...you didn't find Batman? :/

COMMENTS

By enddmd | 27

#5758762 - Monday 18 November 2013 12:25

Sounds like the start of an awesome movie series to me...

Lomus | 24

#5758770 - Monday 18 November 2013 12:33

I'm really wondering what was in that cave now.

Ambient25 | 24

#5758777 - Monday 18 November 2013 12:43

Plot twist: It was the lunar landing set, abandoned since 1969.

JMichael | 25

#5758784 - Monday 18 November 2013 12:52

OP will find a radioactive meteor that gives her telekinetic powers.

Ambient25 | 24

#5758792 - Monday 18 November 2013 12:56

Or OP will roll around in toxic sewage and gain telekinetic radiation poisoning

Ambient25 | 24

#5758902 - Monday 18 November 2013 14:29

Nah, just open the console and type "tgm"

Rainhawk94 | 27

#5758959 - Monday 18 November 2013 15:44

Yay fallout references. Who wants 4 to come out

Ambient25 | 24

#5758992 - Monday 18 November 2013 16:14

For those who dunno, "tgm" was how you enable God Mode on the PC

xXxJaGsTeRxXx | 11

#5759004 - Monday 18 November 2013 16:26

Luckily, OP didn't have to endure 127 hours.

Doritozilla | 20

#5759857 - Tuesday 19 November 2013 4:59

#1 or the beginning of a supernatural episode.

KB616 | 11

#5793991 - Monday 16 December 2013 7:36

Chronicle, perhaps...?

By Sencilia | 14

#5758763 - Monday 18 November 2013 12:27

You found the bat cave!

swaggalikethat | 22

#5758848 - Monday 18 November 2013 13:44

Quick, Robin! To the batmobile!

Redoxx_fml | 22

#5758906 - Monday 18 November 2013 14:34

Why do we fall Bruce?

KK3137 | 31

#5758921 - Monday 18 November 2013 14:51

I guess Alfred will need to find a new job. (again..)

Ambient25 | 24

#5758952 - Monday 18 November 2013 15:35

"Alfred, we're close right? After all of these years, would you tell me if this suit made me look silly?"

By TyT63 | 12

#5758764 - Monday 18 November 2013 12:28

hello Mr.Wayne

tvwrestler98 | 14

#5758958 - Monday 18 November 2013 15:44

Master Wayne*

Ambient25 | 24

#5758962 - Monday 18 November 2013 15:47

*Master Shake

By Ambient25 | 24

#5758765 - Monday 18 November 2013 12:30

Just be happy you didn't fall into a bear cave or anything else. With that being said, #1 has a point. Send the script up to the directors for the movie shoot! :D

YeaSo3 | 14

#5758862 - Monday 18 November 2013 13:56

no point its been done already

mattjamt | 16

#5758932 - Monday 18 November 2013 15:01

33 - and has that stopped Hollywood before?

Jiplo | 18

#5759445 - Monday 18 November 2013 22:46

At first I thought you said beer cave.

KB616 | 11

#5793993 - Monday 16 December 2013 7:38

See the movie Chronicle

HeyPeople13 | 16

#6680547 - Monday 29 August 2016 17:10

They already have an Alice in wonderland

By Ecudaniel | 16

#5758766 - Monday 18 November 2013 12:30

Nananananananana

jamiejones10 | 8

#5758775 - Monday 18 November 2013 12:41

I think it's trying to communicate with us

killmenow03 | 21

#5758779 - Monday 18 November 2013 12:47

It was an attempt at the Batman theme you dimwit. Also, try an original comment next time not one that's use on literally every post on FML.

Vegeto30294 | 19

#5758837 - Monday 18 November 2013 13:35

Batman?
Cave?

Couldn't put the two together?

TourettesGuyFTW | 25

#5759190 - Monday 18 November 2013 19:36

Wait I got it...Batman + cave = Caveman. Was I right?!

PaulieXP | 16

#6683805 - Monday 5 September 2016 14:03

Dende

By immunetoinsanity | 23

#5758767 - Monday 18 November 2013 12:31

I bet that felt lovely. I hope you're okay!

By Clearly | 7

#5758768 - Monday 18 November 2013 12:32

I'm imagining you submitting this from the cave just waiting for help to arrive. "Oh, look at that I get 4g in here. Well I'm going to be down here awhile, might as well keep busy."