Miscellaneous: Today, I was jogging on my farm when I discovered a cave. Unfortunately...

Hey everyone! I'm the lucky accidental cave explorer and I'm also alright from the fall, just a little bruised. It is a beautiful cave and, as soon as I can find the time, I'm going to go back into it and see if it connects to the 2 other caves on my property. The irony of the situation is that I was part of a Caving Grotto where I live and had just come out of another new cave just a couple hours before this happened. To answer a question I saw, I happen to rock climb as well, so getting out of the cave wasn't as rough as getting into it lol.

Miscellaneous

Taking stock

The smell detective is on the case

Bum note

Panic buying? What panic buying?

By Paul Rushing - 19/03/2020 15:00

Today, at the supermarket where I work, we had at least 40 people waiting outside for us to open our doors at 7:00 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 593

You deserved it 260

05/04/2011 07:30

Today, I told my boss I was too sick to come to work. He asked if I had a late night so I told him I stayed in. Apparently I ran into him at a bar last night and was too drunk to remember it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 209

You deserved it 56 848

26/02/2010 11:13

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 933

You deserved it 8 429

Dream baby dream

By CJ. - 05/05/2021 14:01

Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 1 211

My precious

By Qoqo - 14/08/2021 22:01

Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 64

02/02/2016 20:27

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 333

You deserved it 1 962

28/03/2013 01:02

Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 787

You deserved it 74 940

05/02/2016 22:55

Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 021

You deserved it 2 952

17/08/2012 07:30

Today, I was doing my laundry and I saw a dollar bill at the bottom of the washer. I excitedly dove in to retrieve the money, and promptly hit and broke my nose on the washer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 737

You deserved it 25 921

19/10/2010 06:37

Today, I discovered the top I'm wearing becomes completely see-through when it rains. I just got caught in a storm on my lunch break, and still have 3 hours of work to go in my male dominated office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 485

You deserved it 8 649

03/09/2018 04:00

Today, I'm being paid to watch paint dry. I work for military defense, and the door l just painted is an opening for a secure lab, so has to be monitored nonstop. This cannot happen until the paint dries. The U.S. government is literally paying me to watch paint dry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 917

You deserved it 319

30/01/2009 18:18

Today, I was woken up by my roommates cat meowing so loudly at her door, wanting in. Suddenly it stopped. I was just falling back into sleep when I rolled over and the cat was right there beside my head. Meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 713

You deserved it 3 025

25/08/2009 20:07

Today, for karaoke, I sang American Woman by Lenny Kravitz. The entire audience cracked up laughing and at least three people pulled out their cell phones to record my performance. At the end, the DJ said, "Looks like someone had too much tonight." I was completely sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 796

You deserved it 11 673

26/02/2009 23:21

Today, I went to go get a haircut and I asked how much it was for a haircut, shampoo, and a blow job. I meant to say blow dry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 258

You deserved it 54 826

29/02/2016 16:17

Today, my boyfriend posted pictures of him at the bar last night with his ex. And ones of them in her bed this morning. I guess we're sleeping with other people? FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 038

You deserved it 2 122

05/10/2013 17:51

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 033

You deserved it 4 300

19/11/2016 06:21

Today, I was cleaning off my couch so my nephew could crash here for a few nights. It's been so long since we've sat on it that it is now inhabited by rats we didn't know were in the house, including newly born ones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 534

You deserved it 6 394

11/11/2010 18:02

Today, my apartment building shut off our water for a short period of time because the pipes were being worked on. It was also the morning my dog had diarrhea on my cream carpet. Not only did I have to clean it up without water, I couldn't wash my hands afterward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 083

You deserved it 3 442

17/03/2010 15:22

Today, I did my laundry. When I took it out, everything was clean, including the mouse that had been hiding in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 043

You deserved it 4 817

Do me a solid

By Anonymous - 15/02/2021 20:01

Today, and for the last six months, I've been on a medication that greatly improves the main symptoms of my chronic illness. Too bad it also gives me chronic diarrhea. I feel much better and can function better than I have since my teens, but I haven't taken a solid dump in half a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 55

29/01/2010 21:38

Today, I discovered that the seal on my driver's door is defective. I made this discovery when I got rained on while I was getting my car washed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 029

You deserved it 3 051

27/05/2009 10:15

Today, I took my friends out to an expensive restaurant for my birthday treat. They had arranged for a surprise birthday cake for me which I cut, very happily, while they chanted birthday wishes. When the bill came, I discovered I was supposed to pay for my great 'surprise' cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 317

You deserved it 5 343

Anxiety

By Noctium - 02/09/2020 14:08

Today, I realised exactly how bad my social anxiety has gotten when I had a panic attack watching someone ask someone else out on a fictional show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 262

29/09/2011 14:32

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 366

You deserved it 3 789

03/01/2011 17:17

Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 312

You deserved it 4 932

26/05/2009 06:10

Today, after 7 hours on my feet at work, my boyfriend picked me up. Relieved, I took off my shoes. Suddenly, he looked up and sniffed asking,"are those your feet?" I had forgotten to put on socks in my rush to work. He made me put my shoes back on and sit in the back, windows open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 732

You deserved it 47 050

17/11/2016 18:17

Today, at school, we were supposed to say something that we are thankful for. When I was about to speak, one of the girls at my table said, "It's okay, you can say PornHub." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 207

You deserved it 1 202

23/07/2014 04:04

Today, I managed to punch a customer's child as he walked around the corner just as I enthusiastically pointed his mother in the direction of what she was looking for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 936

You deserved it 4 550

It's called fashion Susan, look it up

By Anonymous - 16/07/2020 23:01

Today, I thought it'd be funny to give my younger brother a wedgie. I found the thong I thought I'd lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 629

You deserved it 392

03/12/2012 11:53

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 995

You deserved it 4 177

09/07/2016 04:09

Today, I walked in on my son flopping around on the floor with a blanket wrapped around his legs. Apparently at age 22, he'd rather pretend to be a mermaid than go out and get a damn job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 794

You deserved it 2 420

28/05/2019 16:00

Today, my girlfriend told me I didn't make enough noise during sex. Then when we had sex again, I made the noises she wanted. She then broke up with me because apparently, when I came, I screamed like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 321

You deserved it 406

15/05/2014 12:02

Today, a customer came into our store and asked if we sold "child-sized coffins". This isn't even the weirdest question I've been asked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 911

You deserved it 4 643

05/12/2017 01:30

Today, I felt so unwell that I didn't fall asleep until 4 AM. The baby woke up at 5, ready to start the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 183

You deserved it 537

30/10/2010 20:42

Today, my son stuck coins in our DVD player. It would be cute if he wasn't 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 488

You deserved it 5 839

31/12/2013 17:47

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 934

You deserved it 3 860

02/05/2009 00:05

Today, I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor went through the normal questions, then paused for a moment and jotted something down. Later when I got back my report from the checkup, I noticed that the doctor had checked the "no" box by "sexually active." She didn't even ask me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 290

You deserved it 6 438

10/08/2013 21:30

Today, my mother-in-law yelled from across the house for me to come quickly. She sounded frantic, so I rushed and asked what was wrong. She said, "Nothing." and that she just wanted to remind me that she hates my guts. She'll be living here with me and my wife for the next two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 425

You deserved it 3 804

Tense

By Anon - 06/04/2021 07:00

Today, my doctor told me if my blood pressure gets any higher, he could use me to reinflate the air in his tyres. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 118

Facebook's moderation sucks

By Anonymous - 06/03/2021 07:01

Today, I got put in Facebook jail for telling a guy fat shaming a girl he was a "s*x*st b*st*rd." Immediately after, FB informed me that a person I reported for threats didn't violate community standards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 293

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Top comments

enddmd 27

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Monday 18 November 2013 12:25

Sounds like the start of an awesome movie series to me...

Sandsh8rk 36

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Monday 18 November 2013 21:49

Great to hear! But...you didn't find Batman? :/

Comments

enddmd 27

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Monday 18 November 2013 12:25

Sounds like the start of an awesome movie series to me...

Lomus 24

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Monday 18 November 2013 12:33

I'm really wondering what was in that cave now.

Ambient25 24

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Monday 18 November 2013 12:43

Plot twist: It was the lunar landing set, abandoned since 1969.

JMichael 25

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Monday 18 November 2013 12:52

OP will find a radioactive meteor that gives her telekinetic powers.

Ambient25 24

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Monday 18 November 2013 12:56

Or OP will roll around in toxic sewage and gain telekinetic radiation poisoning

Ambient25 24

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Monday 18 November 2013 14:29

Nah, just open the console and type "tgm"

Rainhawk94 27

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Monday 18 November 2013 15:44

Yay fallout references. Who wants 4 to come out

Ambient25 24

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Monday 18 November 2013 16:14

For those who dunno, "tgm" was how you enable God Mode on the PC

xXxJaGsTeRxXx 11

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Monday 18 November 2013 16:26

Luckily, OP didn't have to endure 127 hours.

Doritozilla 20

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Tuesday 19 November 2013 4:59

#1 or the beginning of a supernatural episode.

KB616 11

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Monday 16 December 2013 7:36

Chronicle, perhaps...?

Sencilia 14

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Monday 18 November 2013 12:27

You found the bat cave!

swaggalikethat 22

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Monday 18 November 2013 13:44

Quick, Robin! To the batmobile!

Redoxx_fml 22

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Monday 18 November 2013 14:34

Why do we fall Bruce?

KK3137 31

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Monday 18 November 2013 14:51

I guess Alfred will need to find a new job. (again..)

Ambient25 24

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Monday 18 November 2013 15:35

"Alfred, we're close right? After all of these years, would you tell me if this suit made me look silly?"

TyT63 12

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Monday 18 November 2013 12:28

hello Mr.Wayne

tvwrestler98 14

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Monday 18 November 2013 15:44

Master Wayne*

Ambient25 24

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Monday 18 November 2013 15:47

*Master Shake

Ambient25 24

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Monday 18 November 2013 12:30

Just be happy you didn't fall into a bear cave or anything else. With that being said, #1 has a point. Send the script up to the directors for the movie shoot! :D

YeaSo3 14

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Monday 18 November 2013 13:56

no point its been done already

mattjamt 16

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Monday 18 November 2013 15:01

33 - and has that stopped Hollywood before?

Jiplo 18

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Monday 18 November 2013 22:46

At first I thought you said beer cave.

KB616 11

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Monday 16 December 2013 7:38

See the movie Chronicle

HeyPeople13 16

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Monday 29 August 2016 17:10

They already have an Alice in wonderland

Ecudaniel 16

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Monday 18 November 2013 12:30

Nananananananana

jamiejones10 8

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Monday 18 November 2013 12:41

I think it's trying to communicate with us

killmenow03 21

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Monday 18 November 2013 12:47

It was an attempt at the Batman theme you dimwit. Also, try an original comment next time not one that's use on literally every post on FML.

Vegeto30294 19

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Monday 18 November 2013 13:35

Batman? Cave? Couldn't put the two together?

TourettesGuyFTW 25

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Monday 18 November 2013 19:36

Wait I got it...Batman + cave = Caveman. Was I right?!

PaulieXP 16

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Monday 5 September 2016 14:03

Dende

immunetoinsanity 23

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Monday 18 November 2013 12:31

I bet that felt lovely. I hope you're okay!

Clearly 7

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Monday 18 November 2013 12:32

I'm imagining you submitting this from the cave just waiting for help to arrive. "Oh, look at that I get 4g in here. Well I'm going to be down here awhile, might as well keep busy."