Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my now ex-girlfriend posted on Facebook that I called her a "fucking bitch". Our mutual friends were all outraged, and demanded that I treat her with respect. What she failed to mention was that I said it after finding out that she's been sleeping with my "best friend" for the past year. FML
Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML
Today, my girlfriend sent a text asking if I think she’s pretty. I replied "Yes, of course!" She then got mad and blocked me. Turns out she'd said "petty". FML
Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
Today, a girl and her boyfriend dramatically left our group chat. One of her friends, a mod, is blaming me over a public exchange we had; he says it proves I "don't know her AT ALL." The crazy bitch called me every istaphobe in the book over not liking her favorite anime, and left because I told her to grow up. FML
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my best friend has blocked or ghosted me on everything. Why? She showed me her plan for getting her life back on track. I pointed out that her creepy, controlling boyfriend would never allow her to do any of it. Somehow, she took that to mean that I'm in love with her, and that I'm trying to break them up on purpose. FML
Today, I learned that when my girlfriend told me that she's a different person without coffee and smokes in the morning, she wasn't kidding; after I'd asked her how she'd slept, she bitched me out for "mocking her" and hurled a hairdryer at my head. FML
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML
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Top comments
ThatsMyPie 20
Be the bigger bitch. Tell her that there's a vicious rumor about her having an STD and you are letting it continue because "it's way too funny."
0RedPenguin0 8
It was definitely ironic that she flipped out like that
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Comments (89)
0RedPenguin0 8
It was definitely ironic that she flipped out like that
Ozuru 11
OP, YDI because you are on Instagram.
gmc_blossom 21
21- Did you know that there's an option to reply to the actual FML itself and so you don't have to reply to the first comment?
lilhellian 27
22 He wanted to be seen.. Since he is to worthless to be one of the top 10... I say we hang him.. have'nt used that method in a while...
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's like, so random!
SlenderMann 10
She sounds a lot better than some of my friends... Just sayin'...
ellybelly_502 4
Um. How ironic, she's a bitch! :)
boofgall 16
How many people looked on Instagram for this?
MichellinMan 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Geez...
Sabella89 0
Sounds to me like you need to get some actual friends.
ThatsMyPie 20
Be the bigger bitch. Tell her that there's a vicious rumor about her having an STD and you are letting it continue because "it's way too funny."
cloak057_fml 8
I bet thats what people do to you
Personification 5
12- 5 was referencing a previous FML and the joke clearly went way over your head.
CathhyLe 7
I wouldn't be surprised if she did! I mean, she did sleep with the guy.
xXxIracebethxXx 14
#12 - I wonder if you get a kick out of harassing Internet users. That was pathetic...
CharresBarkrey 16
48 - It reminded me of a 5 year old saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
raNDMGUy 5
So meta
baileymarie102 6
That's so deliciously evil lol
ICastillo 25
Don't worry Op when you call stupid people out on their stupidity, they get defensive and aggressive.
herpderpherpderp 13
And that is why you don't argue with stupid people- they'll make you sink to their level and then beat you with experience.
ICastillo 25
Ha I like you^^ you're smart. But it's a very good point.
thatKidzmOm 10
Icastillo-I used your T rex joke on my boyfriend the other day. :- I laughed. He thought I was retarded. ;-p
ICastillo 25
Hey I thought it was funny too. He just doesn't have our kind of sense of humor. I thought I was the only one who laughed at my own jokes.
unknown_user5566 27
Yet another example of why stupid people using social networking sites is a very bad idea.
gracehi 33
Perhaps they should make everyone take an IQ test before they can make an account. I think we're really onto something here. Let's start a new exclusive social networking site in which everyone must have at least an IQ of 110. We can call it fuckyoudumbfucks.com. We'll be rich!
Acik91 26
That's about the best idea since the invention of instant food. Then, on the other hand, it may be a boring site - surprisingly low amount of users and not many friends, too... Well, I'd take that.
nictransitglory 4
We need to get IQ tests to vote before we start using them for social networking. But I like where you are going with this.
olpally 33
What a drama queen, a stupid and idiotic one at that. Wow, why is she your friend? Lol. Bitches be crazy!
saIty 17
I believe you also need to borrow a dictionary and look up the word "friend".
dftba 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Because she made a joke?
AH1Zviper 15
Where in your world is a tirade of abuse a " joke"?
fml121785 14
27- I believe 9 was saying that OP shouldn't call the girl her friend because of the verbal abuse she hurled at her for her pointing out something to her. Also, because friends don't **** their friends boyfriend's!
brenkite 5
I read your comment as you profile picture.
BulldogHoops 14
Too many people flip shit when they're corrected.