Today, I got home from work to the news my daughter and stepson are dating, and having sex, which is weird but not illegal, since they’re not related. My wife however is blaming me, because I apparently didn’t let her discipline them harshly enough when they were teenagers. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I caught my son and my wife’s daughter “experimenting” with each other’s privates. They’re not blood related and they are teenagers, so it’s maybe not too bad, but they’ve been raised together since they were roughly about 5 years-old, so it’s still too weird to really understand. FML
Today, I caught my 20 year old daughter having sex with my best friend's husband. Apparently it's my fault for coming home early. FML
Today, my daughter threw my stepson down the stairs. When I asked what the hell was going on, she claimed she was just demonstrating her willingness to seriously injure him the next time she catches him in her underwear drawer or in her room at all. I’m not sure which direction to parent in here. FML
Today, I convinced my daughter to tell my wife that the coworker she’s been getting a bit too close to lately touched her inappropriately so she’d stop interacting with him. After arguing and confrontation between the four of us, my daughter threw me under the bus and told them the truth. Now they’re all mad at me. FML
Today, I had my girlfriend over after my wife went to work. She looked so sexy in her outfit, I couldn’t resist. I ripped her clothes off and began to do her on my couch… until I heard my daughter’s voice asking, “Dad, who’s that?” Apparently, she was home sick from school. FML
Today, I walked in on my nineteen-year-old stepson masturbating into a pair of my panties. His excuse? He thought they belonged to my 17-year-old daughter. FML
Today, after I grounded my barely 18 year-old daughter for having sex with her boyfriend when I found a pack of condoms in her room while cleaning it, she responded by moving out and eloping with him. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter-in-law pegging my son, who was tied to the bed. You know, I try to be open-minded and figure they can do whatever between themselves, but maybe not in my spare room? FML
Today, my dad admitted to dating and getting my stepdaughter pregnant, and they’re very happy. My wife is furious. Meanwhile, my brother pointed out it’s a real life version of the Willie Nelson song. Once the baby is born, our inbred family tree will result in me technically being my own grandad. FML
Today, my daughter turned up at my house because her boyfriend kicked her out. I rang him and it turns out his love and affection and even the time he spent getting to know her kids wasn’t enough for her, my daughter just had to throw it all away by sucking her coworker's dick in her boyfriend's bed. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
That would've backfired. Had she punished them harshly, the sex between them would have been even hotter! If she approved of their relationship, they'd have gone their separate ways.
slhiggx 17
They grew up together? That’s deranged.
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Comments (3)
AzraelAngelus 15
So then grown adults are having sex and they just so happen to be step siblings? Your wife is ridiculous and should mind her own business.
RichardPencil 32
That would've backfired. Had she punished them harshly, the sex between them would have been even hotter! If she approved of their relationship, they'd have gone their separate ways.
slhiggx 17
They grew up together? That’s deranged.