Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML
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By
keverdeen
| 14
I don't think I've ever read an fml with such detailed imagery...
By
verkaderk
| 9
Your descriptive wording astounds me
COMMENTS
By
kerrwoof
| 13
How did this post make it through the moderate process? How you worded it was terrible.
Let the thumb downs begin.
Let the thumb downs begin.
By
RAUHWeltBegriff
| 9
shitty
Reply
the_smart_way
| 10
Attempt at a joke
Reply
MichellinMan
| 20
I cracked up at this comment just because of its pure stupidity.
Reply
TheGodDamnJoker
| 9
In order to preserve the sacred tradition I will say it xD "what a shitty situation OP" xD
By
keverdeen
| 14
I don't think I've ever read an fml with such detailed imagery...
Reply
MarilynI
| 9
Haha it's maybe a little overboard...
Reply
spikekutter
| 9
how am i high or stupid? i think that op is the high or stupid one..
Reply
keverdeen
| 14
Well now I stand corrected #38. good God.
Reply
Hiimhaileypotter
| 52
#38- I remember reading that on the day it was published. Freaking hilarious!
This one comes as a close second though!
This one comes as a close second though!
Reply
oj101
| 33
Aw OP, what a shitty sit.....
Gets head bashed on keyboard dnksjshabahhalaodbrbaklalsdd
Gets head bashed on keyboard dnksjshabahhalaodbrbaklalsdd
Reply
soccerchick800
| 10
I don't think I've ever read an FML with such a strong British accent in my head before!
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
There is no such thing as a British accent. What you're hearing in your head is the posh Hollywood stereotype. We aren't all Colin Firth!
Reply
skyttlz
| 32
That story made me realize national dog day is my birthday lol.
By
omegafml
| 3
Ouch, I would get him back even worse
Reply
TopBanana20
| 11
The guy got suspended, if OP "got him back worse", I'm sure OP would get ratted out and suspended too. So kind of pointless, don't you think?
By
spikekutter
| 9
yeah, this fml doesnt make much sense the first time you read it..
Reply
Shrike
| 22
Holy shit, you must be pretty high and/or stupid, then.
Reply
Pleonasm
| 34
It's the end of the world, what do you expect, Shrike?
Reply
RvidxrKlvn
| 8
Too many people just skim right through everything
Reply
mtlfenix
| 7
No, just f'n stupid ... I'm high and I got it right away :)
By
verkaderk
| 9
Your descriptive wording astounds me
Reply
GothickNihilist
| 15
Cockbite is definitely a new one. It's right up there with asscricket and fuckball.
Reply
sens3sfailing
| 24
Don't forget asscandle
Reply
olpally
| 32
And douche nozzle! Lol :D
Reply
jonmansheppard
| 9
And, a bit older, but pimply cockmunch
Reply
Prodigy7
| 4
Cockbreath.
Reply
LadyTorako
| 7
Or my personal favorite-- asshat :)
Reply
freshprizzle1
| 13
How about "peniswrinkle"?
Reply
andyyroxx
| 20
Cuntnugget! Piece of ass, fuckass, cheesy scrotum, dickpicker.
Reply
lemonlift
| 6
I like the pun in there, "this shit" good stuff op
By
MisterMichael
| 9
What movies have you been watching?
Reply
FlamingTacos
| 7
Dumb and dumber
Reply
MisterMichael
| 9
Touché
By
Pleonasm
| 34
That sounds like a Hole lot of pain.
Reply
oj101
| 33
Agreed. I have to Ass a point, that your co-worker is despicable. What a turd. It's time to go nuclear with him. What a crappy shituation.
Reply
BellaBelle_fml
| 23
oj101; You tried way to hard to make your so-called puns work. Some of them didn't even make any sense, and the rest just didn't go together to make a coherent sentence.
By
mbpoland
| 5
Wait, I thought that biological and nuclear warfare were against the Geneva convention?
By
onorexveritas
| 23
you know it doesn't just happen in movies
Reply
naya_bingi
| 11
I'm preeeeetty sure he knows by now.
Reply
onorexveritas
| 23
that was my point