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By Anonymous - 07/01/2015 01:26 - United States - Washington

Today, I spent an hour in a snowstorm waiting for my bus to show up. After I got fed up, I decided to just clean off my car and drive to work. After I was halfway finished swiping off the snow and ice stuck to my car, the bus drove right past me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 498

You deserved it 4 414

By tnh - 17/11/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, just like every other day, I was woken up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be, by the alarm belonging to my upstairs neighbors. They won't wake up until their real alarm goes off: me, pounding the walls and yelling in frustration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 744

You deserved it 2 338

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 01:34 - United States

Today, I hit a deer with a rental car... which I had to rent because I hit a deer with my car last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 140

You deserved it 21 769

Send virtual hugs

By Anonymous - 02/09/2020 02:01

Today, I'm jealous of people who get to hug. My mom has banned hugs in the house because of COVID-19, and the only person I've hugged in the last 6 months is my boyfriend. He's been away for work for the past month and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 403

You deserved it 434

Sort yourselves out

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 108

We meet again

By Anoymous - 18/09/2013 18:31 - Slovakia - Bratislava

Today, I started my new job. Only after I met my new boss did I realise I've met him before. He was at my friend's party last month, the only time in my life when I got so wasted that I danced on a table before puking on myself. He remembers me, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 238

You deserved it 12 070

By Malina - 04/01/2015 01:42 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I bit into a piece of homegrown lettuce from my garden. Apparently, I'm not the only one to enjoy my produce, because I took a bite out of a small caterpillar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 905

You deserved it 10 347

Rack go thwack

By Mary Anne - 03/09/2020 17:04 - United States - Denver

Today, while at work, I walked head first into the edge of a clothing rack. I was looking right at it. People saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 465

Puritanical

By Chipotle gurl - 27/01/2026 15:00

Today, my parents found out I was having sex because I was digging for something in my purse and I inadvertently pulled out some condoms. I was kicked out of their house, because if I’m “old enough to lay down with another man” I’m old enough to get my own place. I work at Chipotle part time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 197

Panic!

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 13:29 - United States

Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cops laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 123

You deserved it 32 269

By Barista - 05/07/2009 05:21 - United States

Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 43

Bizarre love triangle

By too close for comfort - 19/02/2023 02:00

Today, my guy friend told me he wanted to try being with another guy. I told him I’d help him anyway I could. Who knew his “help” was him wanting me (a woman) to help him get hard since he couldn’t get it up for the guy? Guess not letting him grope me or jerk him off meant I’m unsupportive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 271

By hot_mess88 - 04/07/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 148

You deserved it 2 595

By GladYoureConcerned - 30/12/2014 18:15 - United States - Glendale

Today, after we had sex, my boyfriend told me how my orgasms used to make him think I was having a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 701

You deserved it 4 271

And they lived happily ever after…

By Anonymous - 20/12/2021 02:01

Today, after years of doctors appointments, scans, behavioural assessments, educational assessments, and thousands of pounds in medical costs, we’ve had to accept that our son doesn’t have a learning disability, psychological problems, autism, or ADHD, he just has the personality of an arsehole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 328

Cutting corners

By HALIFAAA - 28/12/2014 13:56 - Germany - Braunschweig

Today, my boss sent me a Word document that he wanted me to make into a PowerPoint presentation for him. It was a set of proposals for the board of directors about cost-saving options. The third option was to eliminate my position in the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 529

You deserved it 2 195

Tis the season…

By evil Santa - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Solon

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 486

You deserved it 3 264

By stephiexbabexx - 15/01/2010 21:27 - United States

Today, I was with my friends at Burger King. While we were eating, I placed my cellphone on the tray, not realising that I'd left it there until after I emptied my tray into the bin. When I got it out of the trash, it was covered in soggy, sticky garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 833

You deserved it 39 504

How could you?

By Foreverfuglyaf - 18/07/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband and a woman on our bed together. She had a perfect, fat-free body, and was riding him effortlessly. He knows I’m unable to ride due to a back injury. This comes a couple of days after convincing me that I was “beautiful the way I was” when I had a body dysmorphia breakdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 198

By brycepetrillo - 07/09/2013 16:08 - United States - New Port Richey

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 215

You deserved it 3 975

By Anonymous - 01/01/2013 06:12 - United States - Amelia

Today, my brother thought New Year's would be more epic and memorable if the fireworks were set off in the family room and not outside. It is memorable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 340

You deserved it 3 608

Can't catch a break

By Anonymous - 16/09/2020 17:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I’ve been working 4 months to cover people isolating, so I was finally looking forward to a Saturday of fishing, a date night then a lazy Sunday watching TV. Only my wife who, as soon as she heard I had a whole weekend free, handed me a list of vital house jobs that need doing, “NOW NOW NOW.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 03/11/2011 06:22 - Australia

Today, I learned that all it takes to anger my sister's new parrot is to walk past its perch. I also learned that a beak over two inches long is very capable of inflicting injuries that require stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 170

You deserved it 4 204

By x_udontknowme_x - 05/01/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, while I was out of the office, I'd left my phone charging inside. My boss informed me that since I am clearly running up her electricity bill, it will be deducted out of my already nearly non existent paycheck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 372

You deserved it 4 391

By melonhead - 14/01/2010 08:46 - Australia

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 912

You deserved it 3 731

Hott

By uglyone - 13/01/2010 14:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was going out with my supermodel-gorgeous friend, so I put extra effort into looking good. I thought I looked pretty good, but when we got to the subway station, a drunk old man looked at us and loudly announced, "That's always the way it is, there's a fit one and an ugly one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 199

You deserved it 3 449

By Anonymous - 22/09/2010 01:31 - United States

Today, at work I was bored so I started to doodle on MS paint. My boss walks by and asks me to join him in his office. When I do so, he fires me for drawing offensive material. I drew a rainbow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 053

You deserved it 7 817

Doodle

By Busted - 12/01/2010 21:05 - United States

Today, my friend and I doodled on a sheet of paper trashing our English teacher. Later, I went to English class, and my teacher asked for us to take out a sheet of loose sheet of paper and write an essay. It wasn't until I had written on the whole front and flipped to the back that I realized I was using the doodle sheet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 826

You deserved it 42 979

By Anonymous - 28/06/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I left my brand new iPod Touch outside. There had been a drought for the past 3 weeks. Not anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 700

You deserved it 67 944

By Anonymous - 29/06/2010 18:53 - United States

Today, I called my mother to check up on her. Lately, she's been having some financial problems, so last week I sent her my last $100 to help her out until her next paycheck. She used the money to euthanize the family dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 594

You deserved it 4 711

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The Top

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 66

Today, I have the flu. I had to wash the dishes, cook dinner, take out the trash, and take care of the laundry, all while my wife sat around watching TV, because she was "too tired". I work 8 hours a day. She's a college student. She doesn't see what's so unfair about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 431

You deserved it 8 249

Random

Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 831

You deserved it 3 195

Today, as a nursing assistant, I often hear that the biggest thing people get from their job is satisfaction of helping others get better. Biggest thing I've gotten out of it? Shingles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 669

You deserved it 471

Today, I fell in a vent in our floor while decorating our Christmas tree. My husband removed the grates months ago to increase airflow. I fell in past my knee and he had to pull me out by the arms. It's been four days and I can still barely walk. My office is on a second floor... We don't have an elevator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 413

You deserved it 314

Today, my phone received a text which rarely happens. While getting my phone, I stubbed my toe, just to see a message from a telemarketer. Now my toe hurts and I didn’t even want what they were selling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 133

Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 281

You deserved it 143

Today, I bought Valentine’s Day cupcakes in advance, knowing they were going to be sold out by then. I put them in the fridge, still wrapped in their plastic bag, with a Post-it that said, “Don’t Touch.” Apparently, this didn’t stop my wife from eating all 12 mini cupcakes because she “was hungry.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 190