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By Anonymous - 29/03/2013 05:37 - United States - Mariposa

Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 750

You deserved it 3 458

Privacy violation

By privacy! - 02/05/2021 08:02

Today, I asked my mom to help my daughter with Zoom school while I handled an emergency. When I got back, I found out my mom went through my laptop containing all my documents, my emails and even the journal my therapist suggested I keep. She says she was looking for a Zoom link. Yeah right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 337

You deserved it 187

Rough deal

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I constantly hear single moms being bashed trashed and judged no matter their situation. I just got dumped again for being one. No one seems to know or care that I’m a single mom, because my daughter’s conception wasn’t what you’d call consensual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 520

You deserved it 107

By Crampon - 27/03/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 861

You deserved it 25 034

By Anonymous - 13/08/2010 02:21 - United States

Today, while at work at a new job, my brother comes and takes my car. Along with all my money, my phone, and whatever else I had in my purse. His message to me through one of my co-workers was "walk home." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 484

You deserved it 3 524

By Brandy_Dandy78 - 12/06/2011 18:47 - United States

Today, I fell asleep as my family drove to church. No one bothered to say anything about the drawings my siblings drew on my face until after church ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 440

You deserved it 5 830

Memento

By Anonymous - 23/07/2022 22:00

Today, I suddenly was in my kitchen, preparing some food. I don't remember making this food, or anything else that I did today. Yesterday and the day before are also gone. My house is clean and nice, but my cat is scared of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 125

By Anonymous - 10/08/2010 16:34 - United States

Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 477

You deserved it 6 921

Sledding Fail

By FML Approved - 03/10/2017 03:00 - United States - New York

Mistakes were made...

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 292

Treat yourself

By Anonymous - 26/07/2022 02:00

Today, I told my husband we could have a "him" day, visit the comic book and games stores, then watch anime. He refused to believe I was genuine, and asked what bad thing I did that I was trying to make up for. We ended up not doing any of it because he thinks I can’t be nice to him without a motive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 093

You deserved it 812

Light sentence

By ClumsyTeen - 14/05/2021 05:57 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I tried to sneak in at 2 a.m. after going out, since I'm 16, but I tripped over a pair of slippers and landed flat on my face. My body fell quietly, but I let out a very loud and guttural, "Oof." After about a minute, I lifted my face to see my mom standing over me. I'm now grounded for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 2 235

By S. Tucker - 07/06/2011 09:28 - United States

Today, I learned how unhappy my husband is in our marriage. Apparently he also can't find a good woman. We didn't have a heart-to-heart, I read his woes in a blog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 864

You deserved it 3 621

Bad design

By Anonymous - 28/07/2022 16:00 - Germany - Zittau

Today I have to face the fact that either my anatomy is different from other women, or all panties are designed by clueless men: You know that little cotton lining they have? Ever notice how it is invariably placed so that it will catch exactly HALF of the wet patch it is supposed to absorb? FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 190

By BobRyder - 10/04/2014 20:52 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I brought home my 3D glasses after a movie. I had a laugh about it until I realized that I put my $100 sunglasses in the recycle box outside of the theatre instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 428

You deserved it 24 420

Privacy

By silver bear - 15/05/2021 17:00

Today, my dad saw my cleared internet history and said, "You do know we can still track your history with your IP address, right?" I don’t ever look at porn or anything like that. I just don’t want other people knowing all my business all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 131

Who are you?

By forgotten - 02/10/2009 07:46 - United Kingdom

Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 550

You deserved it 2 860

No scrubs

By Anonymous - 06/05/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was told “unofficially” that I should stop wearing brown scrubs to work. More than one patient complained to the front desk and said they thought I was naked when I walked into the room. My scrubs aren’t even tight. I'm pretty sure it’s my brown skin that bothers them more than brown scrubs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 197

By lifeguard down - 01/08/2010 04:23 - United States

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 729

You deserved it 13 333

By hairless - 30/07/2010 06:45 - Australia

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 502

You deserved it 10 143

Great, just great

By never_ending_hangover - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend out to meet my coworkers for the first time. I really wanted to impress them, and get them to think how cool we are to hang out with, since I am new to LA. Instead, my boyfriend threw up in my boss's sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 365

You deserved it 4 910

Procrastination

By Anonymous - 11/11/2023 14:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I prepared a detailed plan to organise my life, colour-coded and beautifully illustrated. I was so engrossed in designing the perfect plan that I forgot to actually do any of it and ended up with a highly organised non-starter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 453

By Anonymous - 02/06/2011 04:17

Today, I threw myself a surprise party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 635

You deserved it 18 385

Looks

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 06:00

Today, my mom and dad were talking about how if I lost weight, I would be attractive and have guys all over me. My dad said, “That’s exactly what I’m worried about.” It took me a while to realize they both think I’m ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 493

You deserved it 374

All grown up

By Anonymous - 22/07/2022 00:00

Today, I made broccoli and peas with dinner. My girlfriend pouted, sulked, and refused to eat "yucky veggies", demanding fries or chips. Apparently, I'm dating a fucking toddler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 259

Resting bitch face

By Meow, Bitch! - 24/07/2022 18:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I realized my cat has a very serious case of RBF. Let me tell you, there's nothing more unnerving than turning your head and seeing a small tuxedo cat staring daggers at you for absolutely no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 252

By Anonymous - 29/03/2014 03:02 - Canada - Rosthern

Today, while at work, I went to unlock the washroom for a customer. Normally we don't allow customers to use the staff washrooms, so I was as surprised as the guy I found sitting on the toilet when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 254

You deserved it 4 162

By blackberrybummer - 25/07/2010 05:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided he would do his job while I did my "job" on top of him. He whips out his Blackberry and completely ignores me to send e-mails to co-workers reminding them about the 10 a.m. meeting scheduled for the next morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 117

You deserved it 5 654

The Gap

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 15:01 - United States

Today, I learned that the gap between the elevator and the 6th floor landing of my apartment building is approximately one key's width wide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 213

You deserved it 3 666

By arknvl - 07/03/2013 18:12 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, my boss yelled at me for visiting Facebook on my work computer. He says that since I can't be trusted, I'll be supervised from now on. I was uploading pictures to the company's Facebook page, which I have to do once a week as part of my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 250

You deserved it 2 721

My eyes!

By Anonymous - 26/05/2021 00:01 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with an Apple advisor, who helped me back up data to my computer using remote assistance. As we did, every file transferred showed up with a real-time preview. All of a sudden, the nude selfies I forgot about rolled in. He immediately shouted, “OH WOW.” It wasn’t a good “wow” either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 1 075

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Random

Today, after 6 months away, I came home to find out my mom has essentially untrained my dog by spoiling him rotten. She has, however, taught him to fart on command. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 212

You deserved it 1 211

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 229

You deserved it 3 168

Today, I thought I saw a snake while I was watering. I got my son to check it out and he agreed too. I was nervous so I called animal control, and they said it would cost $50 just for them to come out, I agreed. It ends up I paid $50 for them to pick up an old diamond weave farmer's hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 559

You deserved it 42 851

Today, I went with my girlfriend to her ex-boyfriend's house party. She got incredibly drunk and I spent the whole night looking after her when she was throwing up. In the brief moment before she passed out she said "thanks Matt, you're a great boyfriend." Matt is her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 493

You deserved it 6 049

Today, I realized I need to cut back on drinking. Not booze, but water. I compulsively drink so much water that my body is bloated from water absorption and I have to pee constantly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 303

Today, I assembled my kid’s birthday bike without reading the instructions. I proudly presented it, only for him to sit on it and immediately realize the handlebars were on backwards. The training wheels were also uneven, so it leaned like a sinking ship. My kid said, “It’s OK Dad, it's not your fault,” which hurt more than if he’d laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 536