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By cmolloy - 21/12/2011 14:40 - Ireland

Today, I texted a friend offering my condolences over the death of his grandfather. He hadn't been told his grandfather had died yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 368

You deserved it 4 488

By Ugh - 15/02/2011 17:10 - United States

Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 843

You deserved it 3 873

Not you

By pandabear - 12/02/2010 19:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I got an alert from Facebook that it was my very popular and attractive classmate's birthday. I decided to be sweet and write "Happy birthday" on her wall, only to notice it wasn't there a few minutes later. I rewrote it again and it disappeared. After three attempts, I took the hint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 717

You deserved it 4 717

By sad sack. - 18/01/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I got an email notification from Yahoo! Personals: "Hi, we've found 0 new matches for you". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 026

You deserved it 2 909

Roadie

By partypooper - 28/07/2009 06:34 - United States

Today, a friend asked me if I could help him set up the stage for his wedding. Feeling honored that he considered me a close enough friend to aid him on his special day, I agreed to help. Turns out we aren't so close. I was asked to leave after I was done because I hadn't actually been invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 748

You deserved it 3 051

**** McGee

By Pakundo - 17/01/2009 11:31 - France

Today, I went to an underwear shop. An employee suggested me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 095

You deserved it 2 581

Cartoon villain

By get tf over it! - 30/06/2020 20:02

Today, I had a Skype interview for a wonderful new job. I was calm, cool and ready to land it. But just like in a bad movie, the interviewer ended up being the creepy guy I turned down repeatedly in high school and in our 20s. He smirked and told me I could continue, but it would be pointless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 808

You deserved it 703

By Anonymous - 19/12/2011 07:35 - Canada

Today, while sleeping, my foot was stabbed by something in my bed and I woke up to it bleeding. I looked around for the cause and found nothing. Now I'm afraid to go to sleep because it might happen again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 959

You deserved it 2 783

By Eva - 13/02/2011 09:32 - France

Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 324

You deserved it 6 606

By Anonymous - 16/12/2011 22:02 - United States

Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 243

You deserved it 5 082

Mood ruined

By Anonymous - 10/02/2010 00:56 - United States

Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend when he reminded me that I needed to cut my toe nails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 919

You deserved it 18 175

By sadgf - 25/07/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home from being deployed for the past 3 months. As soon as he gets out of the car, he walks right past me and goes to hug his dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 863

You deserved it 8 887

By Lax - 12/01/2009 09:37 - France

Today, my 5 year-old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked, "Mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 957

You deserved it 3 507

Higher standards

By Anonymous - 10/07/2020 02:02

Today, my mom fought with me again for missing an "important" 4th of July family barbecue. I was working until the morning, finishing grad school applications. There are always family events, and also apparently my brother missing the same barbecue to party with friends is perfectly fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 712

You deserved it 146

Where's my NS10s gone?

By Anonymous - 08/10/2021 14:00 - Spain - Palma De Mallorca

Today, I woke up to find my home studio cleared of most of my music gear. Apparently, my brother went on a Tinder date with a stranger late at night, and decided it to bring her to my place's guest room since my house "was closer." I'd been building that studio for over 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 469

You deserved it 116

Morning routine

By doh - 10/01/2009 05:39 - United Kingdom

Today, my alarm went off. I snoozed it, and went on to dream that I got out of bed, did my business, brushed my teeth, took my breakfast, changed into my working attire, and was ready for work that morning. My alarm rang a second time, I had to do all that over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 628

You deserved it 4 415

Keep it down

By Anonymous - 12/10/2021 20:00

Today, in the middle of one of the worst migraines of the year, I asked my wife if she could kindly stop trying to tell me about the latest neighbourhood gossip at 130 decibels. Cue her loudly nagging in my ear about how I’m mean for not wanting to spend time with her anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 154

By oh... - 20/10/2013 20:34 - United States - Springfield

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 434

You deserved it 3 612

Why not?

By Anonymous - 02/01/2009 15:53 - France

Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she wants to dress me up in her clothes, with a wig and makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 284

You deserved it 5 569

Great comparaison, dude

By Betrayed - 14/10/2021 22:59

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement when my doctor told me that I was infertile. Apparently, I’m now “useless” to him. When I mentioned adoption, he basically compared it to suggesting Pepsi when you want Coke. Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 202

You deserved it 184

By sorry :/ - 08/02/2015 18:28 - United States - Monroe Township

Today, my drunk mom told me to apologize for being born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 103

You deserved it 3 013

By Anonymous - 12/12/2011 06:00 - United States

Today, my mother refused to agree with any of my logic because it's "not in The Bible." She can't find any fault with it, just refuses to agree with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 804

You deserved it 3 889

By Anonymous - 06/02/2011 19:38 - United States

Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 123

You deserved it 3 533

By stalkered - 22/07/2009 04:27 - United States

Today, I finally figured out who has been stalking me for the past 5 months. And we're related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 151

You deserved it 3 098

Bulk buying

By Anonymous - 18/10/2021 02:00 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, I picked up my online grocery order. The clerk asked about the party, because he assumed I was having one because of all the ice cream I'd ordered. I'm bulimic and everything was for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 423

By Anonymous - 15/10/2013 20:16 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancé's best friend, who will be our best man at our wedding, decided to confess his feelings for me and tell me how he's always dreamed of us eloping together. The wedding is going to be awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 943

You deserved it 3 343

By Username - 04/02/2011 08:11

Today, I scraped the ice off my boss's car windows and thought it'd be funny to scrape a swastika in the ice on his roof. I didn't realize until it thawed off that it scratched it into the paint. He didn't find much humor in it and is making me pay for the damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 933

You deserved it 81 624

By Anonymous - 05/02/2010 08:23 - France

Today, I was working as a clown (Pennywise) in a haunted maze. A bunch of drunk guys came in and started breaking props. I decided to stay still and follow through with the scare. I ended up getting kicked in a very sensitive area. The security guard just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 931

You deserved it 4 374

By burned - 03/02/2015 20:45

Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 007

You deserved it 2 398

By childdreamkiller - 08/12/2011 17:41 - Canada

Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 321

You deserved it 5 204

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The Top

Today, my nephews discovered how to trick my washing machine into starting up while the door is still open. My laundry room is now flooded, and their mom refuses to accept any responsibility for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 918

You deserved it 3 881

Today, I let my friend borrow my car. She parked it in a towing zone, and it was towed. The best part is, it was towed by a bogus towing company. The cops assure me it's safe in a chop shop somewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 071

You deserved it 4 587

Today, I went on a date to an owl sanctuary. Today is also the day I discovered my all-encompassing fear of owls, as I cried and pissed myself in front of my date and 15 other visitors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 996

You deserved it 1 582

Today, my dryer was finally repaired after not working for over a month. I did one load of laundry and my washer stopped working. Another day, another $400+ repair bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 669

You deserved it 182

Today, I'm a teacher and was diagnosed with a sinus infection and UTI. The doctor warned me the two antibiotics may cause the runs. My doctor was right, they did, during class. I made it to the bathroom, did the deed, only to find out there was no toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 94

Today, I was in the bathroom at work, humming to myself while scrolling through memes. I started laughing and I said out loud, “You’re so stupid” to my phone. Someone in the next stall said, “Excuse me?” and I had to fake a cough and flush just to escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 535