Miscellaneous: Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back...

By Anonymous - 27/02/2010 12:17 - United States

Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 619

You deserved it 42 669

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Steve McQueen would be ashamed

By thatsureshowedme - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I tried to climb out of my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "great" escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 233

You deserved it 30 934

Grounded

By cock sauce - 09/06/2012 21:15 - Switzerland - Luzern

Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 384

You deserved it 29 673

By TheComputerGuy96 - 22/05/2010 07:56 - Italy

Today, I was locked out of my house. After hours of trying to break the door, I found out I accidentally left a window open. The door, however, still needs to be replaced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 616

You deserved it 32 621

Send help!

By Anonymous - 30/05/2019 23:30 - India - Pune

Today, I've managed to lock myself in my own bedroom. It won't open no matter what I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 385

Nice try

By groundedasfuck - 24/05/2014 20:24 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I snuck out of the house to go to a party. When I got back later, I tried climbing back up the rope-ladder I'd set up earlier, leading back through my bedroom window. I was halfway up when it broke free. I sprained both my ankles and had to shamefully ring the doorbell to get back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 106

You deserved it 55 204

By IceMage - 18/01/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 652

You deserved it 39 438

This is terrible!

By Baddad - 24/11/2019 20:00

Today, as I stepped out the door and heard it lock behind me, I realized I had forgotten both my keys and my baby inside. There's no other way in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 036

You deserved it 1 126

By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 19:00 - United States - Royersford

Today, I got locked out of my house. After trying unsuccessfully to jimmy the lock, I managed to climb in through the kitchen window. I soon found out I had an effect on the door after all; it won't open at all any more, even with the right key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 315

You deserved it 5 753

Party animal

By stupid friendless loser - 29/06/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I slipped out my bedroom window at night in an attempt to rebel against my parents. Then I realized that I have no friends and nowhere to go, so I tried to climb back in. I fell, broke my ankle, and laid in the dirt until my parents found me in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 707

Rebellion

By Anonymous - 18/12/2021 04:59 - Panama - Cuba

Today, my sister and I are never allowed to go out, and by out I mean even open the front door. Last night, I snuck outside. What did I do in my rare act of rebellion? I cut the grass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 132

ThatEmoBoy 26

Monday 20 November 2017 20:53

we've all been there.

Comments

ThatEmoBoy 26

Monday 20 November 2017 20:53

we've all been there.

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The Top

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 093

You deserved it 3 823

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 789

You deserved it 7 933

The Top

Today, my friend's van ran out of gas on an expressway off-ramp. After pushing it to the shoulder, we walked to a gas station and got a can of gas. We got back to the van to find that the battery had died from leaving on the lights and hazards to avoid an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 705

You deserved it 7 675

Today, because of my inexplicable tendency to constantly get giant splinters in my feet, which generally take at least half an hour of tireless effort to remove, my family and friends have nicknamed me "Footy Woody." FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 217

Today, my best friend got jealous that his dog likes me more. He told me I have to spank it whenever it cuddles with me so it will love him more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 623

You deserved it 654

Today, I’m stuck not being able to sleep, because the thought of someone actually caring about me occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 803

You deserved it 198

Today, my girlfriend brought home her fourteenth effing Stanley Cup thermos cup contraption thing. They are taking over our tiny apartment. I can't deal with this madness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 112

Today, I told my 4-year-old daughter that when she grew up she could work at a daycare, like me, to help all of the little kids like her. She started crying because she thought it was a bad job to have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 775

You deserved it 1 755