Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced... - FML

By burned - 3/2/2015 20:45

Today, I found out that my 4-year-old son is truly convinced that I am a ghost. He also thinks that I died from burning, "because of your face". FML

I agree, your life sucks

31881

You deserved it

2373

Tweet

Share

Family values

How's your hovel?

Risky business

By Anonymous - 18/7/2020 14:01

Out of the frying pan…

Today, I thought I finally had a decent boyfriend. He didn’t seem like an emotionally unavailable alcoholic like my past boyfriends. Then I found out he’s an unemployed Trump supporter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1429

You deserved it

707

Tweet

Share

By ladyofzanarkand - 25/5/2018 20:30

He doesn't even go here!

Today, I had my high school piano recital. The entire time I was playing, one of my classmates sitting up front kept booing me and yelling "YOU SUCK" at the top of his lungs. He drowned out the entire song. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3962

You deserved it

222

Tweet

Share

By Michael - 20/9/2017 16:00

Taking the Micheal

Today, my girlfriend of 5 years confessed to cheating on me during my recent business trip. Moreover, she doesn't want to cut off contact with the other guy, because she's afraid of hurting HIS feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4584

You deserved it

307

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 01:23 - United States

Today, my own boyfriend admitted that he can't name one single thing he likes about me without naming something "physical." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30667

You deserved it

6434

Tweet

Share

By fmrunning - 25/3/2009 04:18 - United States

Today, I completed my 6 month training program for a track competition this weekend. I went to the park to run anyways because I needed some air after my boyfriend broke up with me. After one lap, my neighbor's 130 lb dog ran across the soccer field and jumped on me to say hi. My leg is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks

92396

You deserved it

4524

Tweet

Share

By whatarethisss - 29/1/2016 16:20 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I had to teach my 16-year-old brother how to use a toaster. He thought you just plug it in and wait for it to "pre-heat." FML

I agree, your life sucks

19860

You deserved it

1669

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/5/2017 16:00

Today, I found out that the electricity company can just show up unannounced and cut off my power, but cannot find the meter for a whole 10 days to switch it on again. It's currently dark and 7°C in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4904

You deserved it

453

Tweet

Share

By honor sucks - 27/11/2011 23:16 - United States

Today, I lost a huge bet with my friends. I had to either post a sexual message on my mom's Facebook wall confessing my "love" for her, or be ratted out for cheating on a school test earlier in the year. Now I'm considered a freak by half my school, and am indefinitely grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8992

You deserved it

44831

Tweet

Share

By Kitten_Love - 28/1/2013 19:52 - France - Paris

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51973

You deserved it

6595

Tweet

Share

By Nicholas Laughton - 16/6/2017 14:00

Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks

4444

You deserved it

752

Tweet

Share

By TooTallNiCo - 28/11/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Clause isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13954

You deserved it

35916

Tweet

Share

By khlonnae - 21/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Dayton

Today, while hanging out with my boyfriend, I started getting ready for bed. As I grabbed my face wipes, he said, “Wait, don't take off your makeup because then you'll be ugly.“ FML

I agree, your life sucks

4191

You deserved it

543

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 8/1/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43897

You deserved it

3322

Tweet

Share

By zazzleface - 9/4/2012 12:23 - United States - Bergenfield

Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31176

You deserved it

2353

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/12/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, it was my first day with new contacts, but I found out they make my eyes red and itchy. Today was also the day I had a very important meeting. They think I showed up stoned. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30804

You deserved it

3353

Tweet

Share

By so_screwed - 25/9/2013 06:59 - United States - Salinas

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39409

You deserved it

13843

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/2/2011 18:59 - United States

Today, my boyfriend woke up to me crying. He asked what was wrong, but before I could answer, he'd already rolled over and started snoring louder than ever, making the migraine I was crying about even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32812

You deserved it

6582

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/5/2013 12:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

I agree, your life sucks

51973

You deserved it

9757

Tweet

Share

By horp - 29/9/2015 22:00 - United States - Torrington

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26591

You deserved it

9061

Tweet

Share

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/1/2011 16:44 - Switzerland

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38908

You deserved it

6365

Tweet

Share

By Thanks a lot - 23/10/2015 01:27 - United States - Chestnut Hill

Today, I babysat for my neighbor's brat kid. The mom gave me $15 for 5 hours. I complained to my mom when I got home because last time I got $15/hour. Turns out my mom had told my neighbor that she thought they'd paid me too much last time. Thanks mom. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28171

You deserved it

1996

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/11/2009 13:36 - Sweden

Today, my boyfriend gave me an early wedding present. I opened the box and inside was the most adorable cat I've ever seen! It got scared, jumped out, clawed my face and pissed everywhere. My wedding is tomorrow and I look like Frankenstein's bride. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40751

You deserved it

3826

Tweet

Share

By - 1/2/2017 06:40 - United States - Bedford Hills

Today, my co-workers and I have to fight for our jobs because of a mistake our managers made. They get to keep their jobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7127

You deserved it

367

Tweet

Share

By Fartnonymous - 18/8/2015 10:59 - Qatar - Doha

Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22563

You deserved it

2623

Tweet

Share

By surfer - 21/7/2014 17:14 - United States - New York

Today, I went surfing, got a few rides, then realized I had my phone in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41133

You deserved it

26144

Tweet

Share

By Embarressed... - 4/8/2010 10:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML

I agree, your life sucks

44357

You deserved it

11227

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 29/6/2010 02:21 - United States

Today, a cute thirty-ish chick walked into the bar I work in. I asked her for her license to make her feel young. She didn't have her license on her and started yelling about how stupid it was to even ask, when she obviously was old enough to drink. She then got up and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36517

You deserved it

12853

Tweet

Share

By Jaime - 31/3/2014 22:05 - United States - New York

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44227

You deserved it

6794

Tweet

Share

By danielesnaranjo - 31/10/2019 16:00

Drunk online shopping FTW!

Today, after waking up with the worst hangover in years, I got a bank notification that my credit card was maxed out. Apparently, I bought a $1500 plane ticket for my ex-girlfriend to come over this weekend. She’s in South America. FML

I agree, your life sucks

656

You deserved it

2100

Tweet

Share

By preggers with probs - 3/9/2018 14:30

Today, I am 10 weeks pregnant and my husband says he needs time for himself. This apparently means he will be romancing and sleeping with other women so he can "relax". FML

I agree, your life sucks

3432

You deserved it

234

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/8/2014 02:16 - Australia - Notting Hill

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks

43875

You deserved it

7193

Tweet

Share

By sherronj - 7/6/2011 03:26 - United States

Today, I announced to my family that I will be trying out for the next season of America's Best Dance Crew. They responded by laughing hysterically and my mother said "You guys suck, good luck making it past auditions". FML

I agree, your life sucks

31212

You deserved it

7503

Tweet

Share

By elle - 23/5/2011 10:17

Today, I found out that the peaceful rain I'd been listening to all night was really a broken water-main flooding my entire yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36202

You deserved it

4124

Tweet

Share

By Becca Velveeta - 26/10/2019 14:00

Easy mistake to make

Today, my mother's boyfriend sent me pictures of my mom sucking him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2856

You deserved it

170

Tweet

Share

By kinkicali - 20/11/2012 08:43 - United States - Maple Valley

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16425

You deserved it

36296

Tweet

Share

By Gloria - 9/6/2018 05:00

Today, I got home with my 3 best friends in tow, only to find my husband fast asleep on the sofa, porn playing on his laptop, his boxers around his ankles, and a sticky white mess all down his thigh. I am so beyond mortified I can’t adequately describe how embarrassed I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6203

You deserved it

804

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 7/9/2018 03:30

Today, I found out my fiancé can't wear his ring at his parents house cause his mom and dad don’t want him to marry me, and it has nothing to do with me. They don’t like my parents so I’m not good enough for their son. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2968

You deserved it

174

Tweet

Share

By ari - 17/6/2011 11:06 - United States

Today, I woke up to NYPD detectives banging on my door with flashlights, looking for some criminal who used to live in my house. Apparently, when they showed the man's mugshot to my neighbors upstairs, for some reason they identified the man as my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36541

You deserved it

3004

Tweet

Share

By Annoyed Student - 9/4/2013 23:09 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my English teacher used the word "interpretate" again. This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them. It's over a page long. I'm meant to be learning things from this woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36887

You deserved it

4125

Tweet

Share

By humanchewtoy - 7/7/2018 20:30

Today, I was lying in bed recovering from a laparoscopy with my dog laying next to me. I fell asleep and later awoke to a burning pain on my incisions. My dog had decided the stitches would be fun to chew on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3831

You deserved it

463

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By travellingfun | 18

#6192033 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 12:18

Kids have wild imaginations and no filter on what they say, don't take it too personally!

By acommonman | 23

#6192075 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 13:04

just have fun with it OP, kids believe in crazy things.

COMMENTS

By mushroomcassette | 21

#6192011 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 11:48

Children are brutally honest. If you wanted a liar, you should look elsewhere.

Reply

AninOnin | 24

#6192029 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 12:13

Ha! Children can be brutally honest or just brutal. I know some angels; I also know some children who would not hesitate to try and make you feel crappy.

By wasalsa2 | 7

#6192012 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 11:49

you have a melty face

By kirigaiku | 15

#6192013 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 11:51

Did something happen to your face?

Reply

Fuaaad1994 | 31

#6192020 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 12:08

Someone poured coffee on it and ran off

Reply

wtffml1979 | 22

#6192028 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 12:13

I see what you did there....

By granCanyon | 12

#6192017 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 11:58

How do you know you're not?

Reply

saraitkddh | 47

#6192050 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 12:42

If what you are saying is right then this means FML is haunted...

Reply

Morning_fml | 22

#6192277 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 15:55

I didn't know they had wifi in the after life.

Reply

granCanyon | 12

#6192338 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 17:03

some people are taking comments too seriously! It was a freaking joke...

Reply

countryb_cth | 38

#6194377 - Friday 6 February 2015 11:07

You realize they were both making jokes? Maybe you should take your own advice.

By Soundslikeothers | 15

#6192018 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 12:00

Might want to call a priest

By wtffml1979 | 22

#6192021 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 12:08

Time for some proactive

By codytallica | 38

#6192023 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 12:10

Insert witty comment here!

Reply

SystemofaBlink41 | 27

#6192055 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 12:47

Insert witty, better reply here!

By Noah197099 | 17

#6192024 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 12:10

Try to convince him that he's a ghost, and see what happens.

By albertozeta_fml | 9

#6192025 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 12:10

"If I'm a ghost, you are a handkerchief"

By cheeeksss | 29

#6192031 - Wednesday 4 February 2015 12:15

It's alright OP. When I was really young, I thought my mom was a robot because she never showed emotion towards anything (she was a very strict and traditional Asian mom). I grew up and realized my parents are awesome. The same shall happen for you.