By anonymous - 05/09/2012 04:44 - Australia

Spicy
Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 099
You deserved it 10 213
Intimacy
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cawoods 1
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It's like a phone threesome!

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Bekll 31
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I love when strangers leave lengthy voicemails by accident. Never had one of sex in the background but one did involve a wife yelling at her husband. And OP, 2 years is nothing. I've been without for five years now.

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Comments

cawoods 1
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It's like a phone threesome!

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boredSOLDIER 33
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invest in a rub and tug

16 2
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notyobitch 0
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Well the best kind of sex is when the other person doesn't know about it.... Hahaha jk

7 43
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laden_swallow09 34
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That's called rape, 18.

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deBlobX 12
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Giggity

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jodiitiger 13
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Phone rape has such a ring

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livamour 17
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I would think rape victims do know about it actually...

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MDTeddy 13
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That sounds like the hottest voicemail you will ever get. I'd save it forever.

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JustDerpin 11
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Whatever you do OP, don't have sex. You'll get pregnant and die.

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Len_Kagamine 8
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87- OP is a guy..

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cawoods 1
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Why do the numbers skip???? WHYYY!?!?!?!

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theten_fml 9
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98 because other people reply to other comments

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fireysaje 10
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That's what rufies are for my friend.

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Meme1988 18
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Thats just weird,, i can say go out have fun, but i think you should do what ever that works to help you self esteem and then go out have fun

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5n000w 4
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I have no idea what you just said...

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xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
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I think what 2 is suggesting is that OP may have confidence or self esteem issues. So 2 said OP should go out, have fun, and get laid.Though maybe OP should work on their own self esteem issue first if that's why it's been so long since OP was sexually active.

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Saryrr 3
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Whatever it takes. At least you now have some entertainment.

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starsfan_9 7
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One of those "when life gives you lemons" moments I suppose

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siickman 7
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"you make grape juice". Thats how it went right? ... :x

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Bekll 31
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I love when strangers leave lengthy voicemails by accident. Never had one of sex in the background but one did involve a wife yelling at her husband. And OP, 2 years is nothing. I've been without for five years now.

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jetsown08 21
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5 years? I sense the fap is strong in this one.

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boredSOLDIER 33
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fap to natgeo kind of bad

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Boygenius50 8
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I once received a series of texts demanding that I give custody of Dalton back to his mother or she will sue me. Apparently I had a child named Dalton and I never even realized it...

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gc327072 30
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4- may the fap be with you!

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AssassinsCRB 0
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I think this was the wrong place...

16 3
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teddybby 5
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Something is better than nothing, right?

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onlychildFTW 33
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Time to grab the lotion and get in bed. Turn the volume up on your phone and go to work. Haha.

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dogpfcorn 11
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I'm pretty sure Lindsay loHAND would say you have not gone 2 years with out help ;)

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PeteyPablo12308 20
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Lindsay LoHAND wouldn't be out of rehab long enough to say anything of the sort...

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expertsmilee 26
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It's Palmela Handerson guys

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raaawwwrrZ 8
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I prefer Hand Solo myself

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fireysaje 10
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Negative vote for the picture of Nikki Minaj. And the sad comment

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heidiT 4
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Fair enough.

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Lufferkinz 0
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Imagine it was your parents or something like that.

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PegaDolphin 7
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Why would you imagine that? That's just sick.

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sirpantselot 22
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Why would he not have his parents numbers in his phone?

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supportcommand 17
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Blue waffles. That's a funny picture.

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supportcommand 17
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^ why all the thumbs down? Does nobody know about blue waffles? That picture is golden!

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