By anonymous - 05/09/2012 04:44 - Australia

Spicy
Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 207
You deserved it 10 264
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Top comments

cawoods 1

It's like a phone threesome!

251 5
Bekll 31

I love when strangers leave lengthy voicemails by accident. Never had one of sex in the background but one did involve a wife yelling at her husband. And OP, 2 years is nothing. I've been without for five years now.

104 3

Comments

cawoods 1

It's like a phone threesome!

251 5
notyobitch 0

Well the best kind of sex is when the other person doesn't know about it.... Hahaha jk

7 43
livamour 17

I would think rape victims do know about it actually...

20 3
MDTeddy 13

That sounds like the hottest voicemail you will ever get. I'd save it forever.

13 0
JustDerpin 11

Whatever you do OP, don't have sex. You'll get pregnant and die.

18 3
cawoods 1

Why do the numbers skip???? WHYYY!?!?!?!

6 4
theten_fml 9

98 because other people reply to other comments

3 0
fireysaje 10

That's what rufies are for my friend.

1 2
Meme1988 18

Thats just weird,, i can say go out have fun, but i think you should do what ever that works to help you self esteem and then go out have fun

16 57
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16

I think what 2 is suggesting is that OP may have confidence or self esteem issues. So 2 said OP should go out, have fun, and get laid.Though maybe OP should work on their own self esteem issue first if that's why it's been so long since OP was sexually active.

18 0
Saryrr 3

Whatever it takes. At least you now have some entertainment.

14 40
starsfan_9 7

One of those "when life gives you lemons" moments I suppose

7 1
siickman 7

"you make grape juice". Thats how it went right? ... :x

5 10
Bekll 31

I love when strangers leave lengthy voicemails by accident. Never had one of sex in the background but one did involve a wife yelling at her husband. And OP, 2 years is nothing. I've been without for five years now.

104 3
jetsown08 21

5 years? I sense the fap is strong in this one.

93 2
Boygenius50 8

I once received a series of texts demanding that I give custody of Dalton back to his mother or she will sue me. Apparently I had a child named Dalton and I never even realized it...

44 0
onlychildFTW 33

Time to grab the lotion and get in bed. Turn the volume up on your phone and go to work. Haha.

3 2
dogpfcorn 11

I'm pretty sure Lindsay loHAND would say you have not gone 2 years with out help ;)

6 32
PeteyPablo12308 20

Lindsay LoHAND wouldn't be out of rehab long enough to say anything of the sort...

33 1
expertsmilee 26

It's Palmela Handerson guys

18 1
Lufferkinz 0

Imagine it was your parents or something like that.

9 21
PegaDolphin 7

Why would you imagine that? That's just sick.

20 0
sirpantselot 22

Why would he not have his parents numbers in his phone?

22 0
supportcommand 17

^ why all the thumbs down? Does nobody know about blue waffles? That picture is golden!

0 3