Animals: Today, my cat didn't quite manage to eat the whole turkey because... - FML

By bundie - 28/12/2008 07:02 - France

Today, my cat didn't quite manage to eat the whole turkey because it was frozen. He just licked it all over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 477

You deserved it 5 119

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By princeronron - 08/09/2015 02:02 - Switzerland - Prilly

Today, I spilled the bowl of cat food I'd just filled. I picked it all up in front of my cat, but he refused to eat any of it. I had to put the food back into the packet and fill the bowl all over again. My cat is a prince. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 693

You deserved it 6 037

By OldHabitsDieHard - 18/09/2013 14:53 - United States - Erie

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 720

You deserved it 18 763

Poor Mickey

By oh, good - 15/09/2019 02:02 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 598

You deserved it 265

Con Artist Kitty

By Tray - 25/09/2017 20:13

Today, I had just finished making myself an ice cream cone when my cat puked all over the floor. I set my cone on the counter while I cleaned up, and when I finished, my cat was licking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 875

You deserved it 633

Hangry boy

By Anonymous - 17/01/2024 22:00 - Germany

Today, my mom’s greedy cat stole some milk I had left on the countertop, completely undeterred by the fact that not only was the milk in a plastic bag, it was also frozen solid. Yep, he actually managed to eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 135

Freak out

By Lee - 05/07/2021 16:01 - United States

Today, my cat had a long dingleberry hanging off his butt. He decided the best way to get rid of it was to freak out and run around the house, shaking shit everywhere. To make it worse, he then licked his still shit covered butt, made a face and promptly threw up. Guess my cat isn’t the brightest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 177

Sneaky

By Wow - 15/01/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, my cat tried to steal my burger. She was successful. She grabbed the patty with her teeth and pulled it right out of the burger. I was too dumbfounded to try and stop her. I have a suspicion that she is hungry and I forgot to feed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 1 053

By a cat named tiddles - 30/03/2017 00:00

Today, my cat looked like it was about to puke, so I put it outside. Unhappy with the situation, it leaped on to the kitchen window ledge and squeezed in through the open window, only to projectile vomit mid-leap all over the kitchen counter. I found a hairball in the butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 409

You deserved it 762

By damn cats - 12/08/2018 22:00

Today my cat watched me clean and refill his water bowls, then shoved his fresh-out-of-the-litter-box paw in my glass of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 421

You deserved it 346

By Noname - 12/03/2009 22:08 - United States

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150 410

You deserved it 22 966

Next

Top comments

jiwhite 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 5:44

Reminds me of the time my mom's wedding cake was eaten by the cat. They just patched it up with icing and served it later.

Zonadow 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 19:30

Oh geez dude! Seriously, cat's aren't parasites. Nothing is wrong with your turkey. I've lived with cats all my life and they've done things like that and 'worse' and I'm not dead nor have I ever gotten sick from them. Cat spit is cleaner than ours.

Comments

OnTheRun 0

Monday 30 March 2009 23:56

ok....

smelly789 0

Monday 11 May 2009 3:28

So what? You planned to eat it without cooking it? If you cook it it absolutely doesn't matter. its still gross. you never know, you should always be careful

shinshoku13 19

Sunday 25 March 2012 18:29

The problem is that her turkey is now contaminated, i dunno what gave u the impression she might not cook it

Zonadow 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 19:30

Oh geez dude! Seriously, cat's aren't parasites. Nothing is wrong with your turkey. I've lived with cats all my life and they've done things like that and 'worse' and I'm not dead nor have I ever gotten sick from them. Cat spit is cleaner than ours.

NewMarine 0

Wednesday 11 August 2010 13:52

No. Dog saliva is cleaner because of enzymes that kill bacteria. Cat saliva is very bacteria filled and potentially dangerous. Thats why getting bit by a cat is worse than being bit by a dog.

4wow4 0

Sunday 22 January 2012 6:26

yeah but cats also lick it!

ZBrandon 0

Thursday 2 July 2009 21:50

CATS CANT GIVE PARASITES UNLESS THEY HAVE ONE!!! Cook it and it would be fine. parasites cant survive above 150 degrees. it is fine. just. cook it.

White_Oreo 0

Thursday 3 September 2009 23:44

LOL

colts609380 7

Saturday 12 June 2010 3:52

woah man

jackyunder 0

Tuesday 3 August 2010 11:49

haha. fat cat.

jiwhite 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 5:44

Reminds me of the time my mom's wedding cake was eaten by the cat. They just patched it up with icing and served it later.

iLuvCupcakesxoxo 0

Monday 9 August 2010 3:42

awww kitty kitty kitty hahaha

buttFock 0

Tuesday 10 August 2010 8:11

yummy yummy yummy I GOT FOOD IN MY TUMMY nom nom yum yum

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Social Media Love Facebook Am I overreacting? AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Relatable Students Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, I took a very expensive flight to New York City for a job interview. I waited in my hotel room all day for the phone call to go to my once in a lifetime interview. By noon, I was nervous; eight, I was pissed. Around ten, I realized my phone was still in airplane mode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 555

You deserved it 23 502

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 280

You deserved it 3 577

The Top

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 339

You deserved it 60 927

Today, I found out my husband spent us into overdraft charges through compulsive online shopping. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 581

You deserved it 198

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324 575

You deserved it 38 942

Today, whilst chatting with my mum on MSN, she unintentionally sent me an animated emoticon of a penis jerking off repeatedly. I don't even want to know the type of conversation she was having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 773

You deserved it 2 885

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 027

You deserved it 4 845

Today, I was at a Chinese buffet, and I got a fortune cookie. I opened it, and it said, "The love of your life is sitting across from you". The only thing across from me was an empty chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 635

You deserved it 3 534