Today, in the middle of one of the worst migraines of the year, I asked my wife if she could kindly stop trying to tell me about the latest neighbourhood gossip at 130 decibels. Cue her loudly nagging in my ear about how I’m mean for not wanting to spend time with her anymore. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my wife told me to stop talking about my depression, in case the neighbours hear and think she’s a bad wife for not being able to keep me happy. FML
Today, I tried to speak to my wife about my feelings for this coming year, family and work. I thought it wouldn't be a problem as I regularly listen and support her with her feelings, emotional issues, anxiety, depression, etc. She shut me down in 30 seconds and said to stop acting like my mother and being so stupid. FML
Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML
Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her Bluetooth headset. FML
Today, I came home in an awful mood, and grumbled to my wife that sometimes I want to strangle my boss. My wife regularly screams up and down the house over the most minor shit, but apparently this upset her so much that she took the kids to her mom's, and is demanding I get anger management. FML
Today, after two years of working from home, and being bugged by a relative every five minutes as I tried to work, I turned the tables by asking her something. I promptly got chewed out for interrupting something she was doing. FML
Today, my wife yet again started nagging me about a project I've been working on. With every single whiny word spewed from her yap, I could feel my excitement diminish, until it was replaced entirely with resentment and a craving for beer. FML
Today, I have accepted that if I try to spend time with my girlfriend, she will come up with any excuse to avoid me, but when I want to do something by myself, she will be at my elbow every ten seconds, loudly whining that she wants to spend time together and that I'm mean. Talking has yet to fix anything. FML
Today, my wife bitched me out 3 times in a row, for things that were not even my fault: for turning my Xbox on, even though I only nudged the button accidentally with my toe; opening a beer when it was actually a Pepsi for our son, and walking loudly when I "know she has a headache," which I didn’t. FML
Today, my wife has been grumpy all day, because she decided to get herself worked up over an argument we had and then peacefully settled three months ago. Like she suddenly gets to reopen the argument for no reason. I’m refusing to continue the argument on principle, hence her grumpiness. FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
NEIGHBOURHOOD GOSSIP!!! KAREN DOWN THE STREET PUT OUT HER HUSBAND AND SHE’S USING IT FOR SYMPATHY TO GET EVERYONE TO BUY HER DAUGHTER’S GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS! DON’T BUY FROM KAREN, BUY FROM SUSAN! SUSAN IS HEAD OF THE HOA AND WE NEED TO BE ON HER GOOD SIDE SO SHE APPROVES OUR PROPOSAL TO MAKE THE JOHNSONS REPAINT THEIR HOUSE FROM THAT AWFUL CREAMY BEIGE COLOR THAT DOESNT MATCH THE APPROVED SHADE OF BEIGE ON THE LIST OF ALLOWED HOME COLORS! WHAT?! STOP PRETENDING YOU HAVE A MIGRAINE AND LISTEN TO ME! THIS IS IMPORTANT!
lizardlover95 7
if a child can learn to use an indoor voice so can she
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Comments (5)
Dumbum123 19
Okay, it could be the format that I'm reading this but I still don't know what your wife was talking about. The neighbourhood what?
Marcella1016 32
NEIGHBOURHOOD GOSSIP!!! KAREN DOWN THE STREET PUT OUT HER HUSBAND AND SHE’S USING IT FOR SYMPATHY TO GET EVERYONE TO BUY HER DAUGHTER’S GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS! DON’T BUY FROM KAREN, BUY FROM SUSAN! SUSAN IS HEAD OF THE HOA AND WE NEED TO BE ON HER GOOD SIDE SO SHE APPROVES OUR PROPOSAL TO MAKE THE JOHNSONS REPAINT THEIR HOUSE FROM THAT AWFUL CREAMY BEIGE COLOR THAT DOESNT MATCH THE APPROVED SHADE OF BEIGE ON THE LIST OF ALLOWED HOME COLORS! WHAT?! STOP PRETENDING YOU HAVE A MIGRAINE AND LISTEN TO ME! THIS IS IMPORTANT!
george1986 7
that's exactly how it went lol
Dumbum123 19
Thank you.
RichardPencil 32
Who asked you to marry a jet engine? Is that even legal?
Hangryko 32
FYL for her not respecting your request to lower her voice but you could have asked her more respectfully. Also, did you tell her you have a migraine? Have you been distant with her before this? Did you know she didn't have an indoor voice before marrying her? I need more information before I can vote.
Marcella1016 32
Ugh I’m with someone who YELLS normal conversations all the time and there’s no way I can ever ask nicely enough. I try to ask as nicely as possible and get my head bitten off every time because I guess it means I’m embarrassed of them? Idk it’s something some of us need to deal with. Some of us just prefer our decibels to come at us in the normal range, I guess, but others prefer things...on another level.
george1986 7
maybe they need there hearing checked. could be a possibility
lizardlover95 7
if a child can learn to use an indoor voice so can she