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By lct722 - 16/03/2012 05:54 - Canada

Today, I panicked when I saw a spider on my shoulder from the corner of my eye. It was a birthmark. The same one that has been there for the last 23 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 815

You deserved it 23 257

By thebiteof87 - 01/06/2015 12:06 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was having a panic attack so I went to my mum for support. She blocked her ears because my heavy breathing was annoying her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 140

You deserved it 3 089

thebiteof87 tells us more.

thebiteof87 27

Wednesday 3 June 2015 11:52

Hey OP here It's interesting reading all the comments that you guys are writing. It's interesting how a lot of you are saying that my mum has misophonia, which i agree with since she always gets annoyed when she hears me chewing, sneezing or just making loud, repetitive noises, but it still hurt me that she did that. She does have her own problems with anxiety herself, but at the time she was just watching tv so i went and sat next to her. We are pretty close but there is a bit of a communication gap here and there. I get a lot of anxiety due to the fact that i am a transgender boy and i'm going through a lot. Therapy and medication don't seem to help my anxiety though. Thx for the support.

By AnnaMarie. - 28/02/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, I was standing in the parking lot with my sister, after my aunt's funeral, when my grandma walks up and says to my sister, "You're the one going places in life, I'm proud to have you as a grand daughter." She then looked at me, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 597

You deserved it 3 859

Stuck on Amber

By River - 26/02/2009 16:17 - United States

Today, a stoplight turned yellow as I was approaching it. I was about to go through but saw a cop, panicked, and slammed on the brakes. I ended up in the middle of the intersection and had to reverse. Soon the light turned green, and I stepped on the gas. My car was still in reverse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 243

You deserved it 56 202

By Ross R - 27/12/2012 08:52 - United States - Richland

Today, I decided to cover a coworker's closing shift because she felt sick. My boss even gave me a $10 gift card for doing it. I felt good about it, until I walked outside and found that my car had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 266

You deserved it 2 402

By Anasztaizia - 26/03/2015 06:58 - United States - Burnsville

Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 964

You deserved it 4 003

Anasztaizia tells us more.

Anasztaizia 3

Thursday 26 March 2015 22:54

OP here! #51, you are both correct and incorrect. It IS actually his place, but he bought it off his parents. TL;DR: when they decided it was time to downsize, he bought their house off them, but they haven't moved out yet. The mentality of it still being their house, their rules (which I agree is sensible) hasn't quite left their heads yet.

Cool your jets

By tiredoffamilydinners - 12/01/2012 05:00 - United States

Today, my mom and siblings got into a fight. Being generally quiet and non-confrontational, I stayed out of it. Shortly thereafter, I was yelled at by my mother for being "ungrateful" and "disrespectful." I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 671

You deserved it 2 557

By Anonymous - 31/12/2010 08:12 - United States

Today, after telling my parents just exactly what I thought of them and that I was moving out, the person I was supposed to move in with called to say they'd decided they would rather live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 917

You deserved it 33 789

Math major

By idiots - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 921

You deserved it 2 842

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 18:41 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 751

You deserved it 4 016

By all shat out - 07/11/2014 06:53 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I got demonic gastric distress while taking my final college exam. I only got about 50% of it done, left the classroom 50% faster, and experienced both 50% dread and 50% relief. Now I have to repeat 50% of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 602

You deserved it 4 234

Stop! Hammertime!

By shotdown - 04/11/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able to finish until I go brush my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 617

You deserved it 41 697

When life gives you lemons…

By Lemonhead - 30/11/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 037

You deserved it 3 194

By DudeManBro69 - 01/05/2009 13:15 - United States

Today, I was walking downstairs to the subway. At the top of the stairs, some hobo was peeing. Two seconds before, I'd told my friend I felt rain. It wasn't rain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 054

You deserved it 3 576

By funnygirl018 - 28/05/2013 22:14 - United States

Today, it was my very last day teaching my dance class. After the class ended, the owner of the studio started clapping and told all my students to give me a hug. No one hugged me. No one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 755

You deserved it 5 722

By One Angry Vegan - 03/06/2017 12:00

Today, marks 2 weeks since I got Oral Allergy Syndrome, a.k.a. randomly becoming allergic to apples, bananas, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries, grapes, mangos, carrots, celery, beets, sunflower seeds, fennel, my toothpaste, and more things I just haven't tried yet. I'm vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 893

You deserved it 2 304

By ryu1356 - 22/09/2015 13:24 - United States - Dallas

Today, my company let me go after 3 months. A day before my wedding and with zero advance notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 424

You deserved it 1 627

Tasty

By spiderlady - 21/09/2015 03:00 - United States

Today, I walked face first into a near-invisible spiderweb. There's nothing worse than the feeling of a spider web wrapped around your face. Except maybe the feeling of the spider that saw my screaming mouth as a good hiding spot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 040

You deserved it 2 199

By TexasGirl24 - 10/09/2016 12:51 - United States - Houston

Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 658

You deserved it 1 228

By anon - 27/03/2013 23:17 - Netherlands - Swalmen

Today, I showed my aunt and mother my tattoo. They both burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 928

You deserved it 35 101

By GoldCyclone - 11/07/2015 17:47 - United States - Des Moines

Today, my girlfriend heard a great quote about not letting anyone drag her down. She took it to mean, "break up with your boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 965

You deserved it 3 633

GoldCyclone tells us more.

GoldCyclone 21

Wednesday 15 July 2015 19:18

To clear things up, I have been in love with her for 3 years, and we've been dating for 2 and a half. She's always seemed happy, and said that she wouldn't date someone she didn't have feelings for, which is why this came as such a shock to me.

By nikto - 03/06/2011 01:01

Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 064

You deserved it 3 962