By Anasztaizia - 26/03/2015 06:58 - United States - Burnsville

Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 929
You deserved it 3 987

Anasztaizia tells us more.

Anasztaizia 3

OP here! #51, you are both correct and incorrect. It IS actually his place, but he bought it off his parents. TL;DR: when they decided it was time to downsize, he bought their house off them, but they haven't moved out yet. The mentality of it still being their house, their rules (which I agree is sensible) hasn't quite left their heads yet.

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If your boyfriend still lives at home when he's 30, it's time to find a new boyfriend.

Time to get a place of your own.

Comments

Hopefully you can convince him to move out, but for now FYL.

does he still live with his parents? I read this as he has his own house and the parents are still trying to control the situation. only because it says "his" house, not "their" house, or "my" house.

39, are you serious? It's his parents house, and he currently lives with them. It's pretty straightforward.

mattmsk005 8

It was not straightforward at all it was worded as "his house" not there house.

When you lived with your parents and your friends wanted to come over, did they not say "Hey, *insert name here*! Can we go to your house?" Obviously it wasn't the house you owned, but you did live there, and that made it yours. Apparently common sense is hard to come by. If some of you aren't capable of coming to basic conclusions based on real life experience and textual clues, there's really no helping you.

Also, would it not be reasonable to assume that it's not his house because there are rules and curfews laid out by his parents that he has to follow? Rules that the parents apparently have the authority to enforce enough that the OP sincerely feels that she can't come back? I sincerely hope the OP follows up to clarify something that really shouldn't need this much clarification. It's not very ambiguous. Quite a few adults still live at home with their parents, and those parents still have rules that their now adult children have to follow. Based on the text and common sense, it's reasonable to conclude that he lives with his parents, and broke their rules. I honestly don't understand why so many people are having an issue understanding this.

Agreed, #51. Don't know why you're getting so much flak, I guess people want to believe everything is up to wild and grasping-at-straws interpretation until there's a follow-up.

BubbleGrunge 18

I agree that it's probably his parents house. I still live at home and I call it "my house." However, I think 51 is getting thumbed down because she needs to calm her face. It's FML, not a dick; don't take it so hard.

No, I'm getting thumbed down because people are apparently too stupid to come to basic logical conclusions, but oh well. People can thumb me down all they want, doesn't make me any less right.

Anasztaizia 3

OP here! #51, you are both correct and incorrect. It IS actually his place, but he bought it off his parents. TL;DR: when they decided it was time to downsize, he bought their house off them, but they haven't moved out yet. The mentality of it still being their house, their rules (which I agree is sensible) hasn't quite left their heads yet.

OP, your boyfriend should man up and tell them "MY house, my rules."

They'll be out of there soon. Respect their feelings until then.

I don't know why you're getting so many down votes .-. You said nothing offensive

You may want to talk to him...

Time to get a place of your own.

Any guy who has not left the nest by 25 has more issues than just his income.

Always someone with statements like this. You don't know his story. I'm 28 and live at home. Not by choice. I bought a house 2 years ago. It isn't ready to live in because I had a lot of trouble with permits. Also, buying a house on your own is very rare here in Belgium. Especially on my age. Houses are expensive as hell here too. Maybe OP just didn't get the funds together for a house and doesn't want to rent.

My brother turns 27 this year, it makes more sense for him to live at home than to move out. He works very close to home, he is still studying, he pays for his car, insurance, phone bill and his food, and he can easily go home if there is an emergency as the rest of us work at least a 20 minute drive from home. What's wrong with saving up money to buy a nice place instead of paying stupid rent prices that you don't have to pay? :)

besides that, people actually mature at different paces. not everyone grows up by the age of 21 while some grow up before then. there is a new study going in Harvard University for this. But it shouldn't be a big deal if you are not ready to leave the nest. I would say that the one with the real issues are the parents. if they ever want him to be independent, they should stop babying him and treating him like a teen.

Most cultures don't see the point in families scattering and wasting money, parents kicking out children at 18. If he's there to save up, I don't see anything wrong with it. However when it's a situation like OP's boyfriend, I question the reasons for him being there - parents unable to let him grow up. That isn't healthy.

To all the people that are saying that it might be situational as to why he still lives at home. It's convenient or whatever. Let's not forget that this 30 year old man has a bedtime essentially and has put up with it for 12 years since being old enough to make his own decisions. OP needs to talk to her boyfriend because he's whipped by his parents. Granted some people stay at home, maybe their parents are sick. That makes sense but this sounds like he's a big baby who can't stand up to his parents. Tell him to grab his nuts and be a man

I think it depends, if parents treat them like adults it can work, but if they're treated like teenagers who can't choose who to socialise with and have a curfew, yep, they have issues. My Dad only would care if I was being loud at 2am regularly.

snowfoxrox 3

There are a LOT of good reasons for him to be living at home. Hell, when I met my fiancé he was living at his moms. Why? Because he worked at a ski resort for 6 months every year. He only needed a place to live for 6mos. Made perfect sense at that point in his life.

So many people in this thread totally missed the point. The excuse "it makes sense to live with my parents right now" is ridiculous. If you can't afford your own place, of course it makes sense to live with you parents, no one would deny that. The issue at hand is why in your mid twenties are you still not capable of supporting yourself?

Because we're not Baby Boomers and the economy isn't throwing high paying jobs and cheap housing at us? That lifestyle being possible was a fluke, and shouldn't be seen as the norm.

Wit, my husband lived with his parents when we met at 23 and continued to do so for nearly 2 years while we were dating. Why you may ask? his mom works for the state university and as long as he lived at home he received 90% off his tuition from the state. SO when he moved out after graduation he had savings, investments and no student loans, as well as a fully paid off vehicle cause of all that money he saved by living at home while going to college AND working full time :)

Texas, you are the 1%. Most millennials are at home for very different reasons. The guy above you would rather complain about his situation than take the time and effort to fix it. We aren't in a recession anymore. If you still can't find a job capable of supporting yourself, it's not everyone else, it's you.

Completely wrong. There's a lot to this. First of all, in a LOT of places rent is disgustingly high. Price gouging really. Second, with how high tutition is getting, some people are working two jobs AND going to school and barely making it just to pay rent and not have any money or time for decent food...have to eat fast food and get unhealthy. Then if you want a GOOD job, a lot of employers are either only hiring college grads and paying them crap because there's sooo many of them. (like 15 an hour) or going the complete opposite and only hiring people with a lot of experience. So people who can't afford school and are young are stuck at home working crap jobs to work their way up the ladder the old way. Or they're paying off their student loans and working super hard making crap money because that's all that is offered to anyone that doesn't have a lot of experience so they have to live at home to save money. As for the comments attacking the guy or his parents for the curfew and rules about no girls over...It's THEIR house. They want to be able to sleep so they can work the next day. Having a curfew stops him from waking them up when he comes home at 2 am.(If he obeys it of course) Not bringing girls over stops obvious things...

baxwar 15

The op said he bought it off of his parents and they are moving out to a smaller house so it's really his house.

Do you even live in America with the economy it has? You either live with roommates, parents, or you are a doctor making a shit ton of money. No one can afford to live by themselves.

CaitiieBuggs 23

I'm married and my husband and I live in an apartment with my father. He's disabled, and the year we had our own place and he had his own place was terrible. With all of us living together it's not so difficult. Also, some cultures don't believe in family moving out, the family just grows together in the same household, expanding and shrinking as life happens. There's nothing wrong with that.

#59 Are you in your mid twenties? If not you haven't been to college nor do you know how much it cost to go to college. After you graduate from college, you'll most likely be in debt for years to come.

i think maybe you should talk to his parents and assure them that he's independent and it wouldn't be bad to loosen the reins a little bit and watch him act like a grown up man

Maybe they did this because they REALLY are struggling to get rid of him.

He's not independent if he's living at home with his parents. Not sure why anyone would think that at all.

It could be temporary. He could be saving for a house or something

he's 29, still living with parents. independence? I don't think that evolves around him yet

Well if he's still living with his parents, I guess it's their house, their rules.

maybe it's time you two look at striking out for your own place? Or maybe your boy friend needs to squirm from under Mum and Dad's thumb *shrug*

They have to keep in mind that hes an adult not 10 their house or not they still have to respect him

If your boyfriend still lives at home when he's 30, it's time to find a new boyfriend.

Parents just said curfew he could live somewhere else and they just drive over to enforce it

Since OP said "his" house and not "their" house, its possible they're just being overprotective.

thecman25 14

damn dude maybe he just cant move out

That... is one of the stupidest things I have ever heard. There are more people living in their 30's now with their parents than ever before due to a little thing called The Recession, backed up by a little thing called The Baby Boomers. If you don't know what I'm referring to, essentially The Baby Boomers (People born post WW2) have essentially screwed the news few generations of children behind them, leaving them with a dying world, crap house prices and worst jobs. So y'know, learn something and don't be a jackass.

He who pays makes his own rules.