Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I stopped at a light when someone crashed into my motorcycle, making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I'd stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I'd forgotten to lift the helmet visor. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, as I was walking home, a friend passed me by on his moped, and sprayed a bunch of silly string at me. Unfortunately, he hit me in the eye, temporarily blinding me. As I stumbled around blind, I accidentally knocked a bunch of 3 year olds off their bikes, causing them to cry. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, I was driving home when a guy crashed into me from behind. I got out of my car and told him that I was going to call the cops. He then asked me if we could move to a corner because we were blocking the way, so we then got back in to move. I looked in the mirror to see him driving off. FML
Today, while riding my bike on the sidewalk, I came across a ladder. To avoid bad luck, I swerved around it into the street. I got hit by a car. FML
Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML
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Top comments
Youwantwhatnow 0
Forget making lemonade. I use that shit for ammo.
Damncows 2
Gotta love Jersey.
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Comments (62)
Damncows 2
Gotta love Jersey.
Peroxide 3
Is this the home of the Guido? Do these guidos drive around threatening people with lemons?? Citrus in yo eye bitch! Gangsta!
Damncows 2
Have you ever been to New Jersey?
danyfuckinheatle 0
************ is a great alternative to sex.
misterhipster 4
you realized you spelled that wrong idiot. " masturbation"
anormalperson 25
who said anything about masturbation?
sadgasmic 0
you deserved it for getting in the way
paulie1998 0
I like your shoes.
kittykat1501 31
jeez, people can't take a moderately good joke.
jts2 3
Lemonhead. Love the name. Reminds me of "Mellonhead" Johnny, off Ed, Edd, n' Eddy.
waterynuggets 0
Lmao When life gives you lemons, you paint that shit gold.
jelmermcgee 8
No no no. When life gives you lemons, you just say **** the lemons and bail.
poisonfrog7 2
all of you are wrong. When life gives you lemons, YOU GIVE THOSE LEMONS LIFE!!!!. LEMONSTEIN!!!!!!!!!
waterynuggets 0
Hey! Remember what Mrs. Doubtfire said, IT WAS A RUN-BY FRUITING
TheHeroOfTime 0
LMFAO EXPLOSM
abrasive_punk 0
Drive-by fruiting in this case.
Xyphonic 0
@ #22 You seem to know your Cyanide & Happiness :D
Cjw1220 0
When god gives you lemons, you FIND A NEW GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡’¿,….»58======]~
GLaDOSv1_09 19
When life gives you lemons, you use them to burn life's house down.
smiller0789 3
This is something I'd expect to see on MLIA
kittykat1501 31
shhhh... we do not speak of that site here.
FromCFL 0
Way to get in the way, douchebag. YDI all the way.
ITuMT 0
Fail throw
sdcrazy1018 0
lol sorry that made me laugh. It sounds like something that would happen to me.
itsbecca 11
when life gives you lemons, post it on FML!
Youwantwhatnow 0
Forget making lemonade. I use that shit for ammo.