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OP here, yes of course i broke up with her over it, which she still thinks I'm over reacting to. I ended up calling for more pain pills but they wouldn't approve me any more that fast. I ended up just dealing with the pain on my own while being bitched out for being selfish.

By susan - 24/02/2010 01:26 - United States

Today, my husband actually was cleaning our bathrooms. I had to pee and the floor was wet in my upstairs bathroom. My wonderful husband told me to go downstairs. I did and sat on the toilet seat which felt wet. He forgot he had sprayed it with Tilex. Chemical burns on your butt are great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 461

You deserved it 3 301

By LameChef - 10/03/2015 18:43 - Poland

Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 196

You deserved it 5 041

By Anonimo - 08/11/2012 21:22 - Italy - Monserrato

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 136

You deserved it 2 628

By sadlrana121 - 10/01/2015 22:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I psyched myself up and headed out to a really promising job interview. I was sure I was going to nail it and get my first job. That is, until a bird shat on my head on my way there. Thank you so very much, universe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 311

You deserved it 2 573

Come on in

By Toldyouso - 22/01/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 327

You deserved it 24 698

By snowbunny - 11/01/2011 02:03 - United States

Today, I got snowed in. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 052

You deserved it 2 923

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 02:45 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I was threatened to be held back because of the lack of teacher-parent communication. My parents refuse to sign my report card because of my one mark below ninety percent. My teacher was dead serious about failing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 862

You deserved it 1 476

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 00:05 - United States

Today, I went on an interview for a job that I had been wanting for months. I thought everything was going great. On my way out, my interviewer asked me to recycle something for him. I agreed. It was my resume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 435

You deserved it 2 341

Leave me alone

By snitcheyes - 09/11/2010 16:00 - United States

Today, I was called 15 times by a "good redneck boy" that my Mom is trying to set me up with. He has called me at least 5 times a day for the past week. My Mom is still encouraging him to call. I had to unplug the phone because I feel stalked in my own dorm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 983

You deserved it 2 854

By teacher - 07/09/2014 21:05 - United States - Apo

Today, I started my first teaching job ever. As I was teaching, another teacher interrupted my class about 5 times because she thought it was her class. Not only did she ruin my confidence, her behavior caused my students to laugh at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 686

You deserved it 2 975

By robthebuilder - 26/10/2010 06:35 - Canada

Today, while at work, I was asked to see my boss. I was informed that the company would be laying off 20 people, and that I was one of them. I was told I could finish off the week, then was sent back to work. Twenty minutes later, my boss walked around and handed us all Christmas party invitations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 840

You deserved it 2 470

By Anonymous - 19/10/2015 09:26 - United States - Lexington

Today, my husband won't seek medical treatment for a condition he's been living with for years because he saw an episode of House, in which the treatment made the condition worse in a very rare instance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 108

You deserved it 1 833

By Volume_control - 10/11/2009 14:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 864

You deserved it 31 459

By Randomspaghetti - 15/09/2016 21:11 - United States - Lehi

Today, a cute guy complimented me on my legs. I, being the awkward person that I am, panicked and replied, "Thanks, I grew them myself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 177

You deserved it 2 340

By faily_tales - 11/07/2016 00:37 - United States

Today, I reassured a close friend that he could tell me anything. Now all our conversations are almost exclusively about his kinks. Did you know a well-stretched human anus can hold an entire bag of jumbo marshmallows? FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 119

You deserved it 2 413

faily_tales tells us more.

faily_tales 16

Monday 11 July 2016 22:24

OP here. If you really wanna know, he soaked them so they were slippery and put them in one at a time. He's got an inflation fetish and is really into butt stuff. The only reason he tells me all this stuff is because I'm one of the only people in his life that he can be totally TMI with. I'm trying to gently push him into talking about it more with his girlfriend, who's into some of the same things, and less with me. I have a strong stomach but I'm just sick of only ever talking about butt stuff! ?

By seriously though - 22/02/2014 05:48 - United States - Littleton

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 920

You deserved it 3 582