Today, I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips...

By I will find you and I will fucking fuck y - United Kingdom - Falmouth

Today, I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips stuck to my eyebrows. I now have very little of my eyebrows remaining, and just as little idea which idiot in my family pulled this stupid excuse of a prank. FML

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Miscellaneous

And today, on Dr Phil…

Caught red-handed

Can they do that?

By anonymous - 1/12/2019 14:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Secret sex

Today, I had a dream that I had secret sex with Dumbledore more than once. FML

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By happyshit - United States

Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over a nail, which popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML

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By hamster cookie - France

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

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By loko0909 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my ex-boyfriend admitted the reason he broke up with me was because he cheated and felt awful about it. The girl is now pregnant, but he swears it isn't his. Guess we'll find out in a few months if my daughter has a sibling. FML

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By Churizmo - United States

Today, I was at a party and I really had to use the bathroom. There were 30-40 people talking outside the door, so I thought it would be ok to make some noise. Just as I'm about to begin having explosive diarrhea, everyone falls silent as my dad begins to pray for our meal. FML

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By zachhewett - United States - Birmingham

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

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By sdgsfvbkuhkj - United States

Today, I started my first day of work at my new job. They had a section in the parking lot for employees only, so I parked there. Apparently, my boss didn't recognize my car, and had it towed. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, our Christmas tree was damaged beyond repair after my son and his friends borrowed it for a little experiment. They tied balloons to the branches and tried to make it fly, after seeing a similar video online. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/11/2020 13:59

Nice try

Today, after spending days writing up an offer for a condo so my boyfriend and I could move in together with our 9-month-old, we found out they accepted a different offer. FML

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By JohnFarrell - United States

Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML

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By kbeavv - United States

Today, I read my mom's Facebook status. It said, "So sick of kids, can't wait for Vegas this week!" My dad, along with 12 others, liked it. I didn't even know she was going to Vegas. FML

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By Uhh - United States

Today, I was at my sister's wedding reception. My boyfriend of 3 years decided to give a toast to the happy couple. He was drunk and confessed his undying love to my sister. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Worcester

Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML

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By MommaAnnie - United States - Overland Park

Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML

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By Jay

Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML

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By blargggggg - United States

Today, I received a rejection letter from a company I interviewed with three weeks ago. They didn't mention giving my $200 portfolio back. Guess I'll keep using my 4-year degree to wait tables. FML

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By silvernights21 - United States

Today, as I was finishing running a mile, my entire class begun to cheer me on. I felt happy since I don't have many friends. Only when I got closer did I realize that they were cheering for the girl behind me, and in fact, not one person was cheering for me. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my girlfriend sent me some nudes while I was at work, so I went into the bathroom to rub one out. When I was done, I realized there was no paper towels... or toilet paper... or soap... I'm really sticky right now. FML

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By Pat - 22/9/2020 04:01 - United States - Buffalo

New relations

Today, I found out my newly-divorced father is now going to marry my girlfriend's mother. Tough situation here. FML

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By disneyworld - United States

Today, my dad decides to tell me he's taking the whole family to disney world, even my step-brother's girlfriend. But not me, because he can't "afford" it. FML

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By ladyofzanarkand - 20/5/2020 20:00

Not my sunnies!

Today, while out shopping, a middle aged man snatched my sunglasses off my face, threw them off the ground, and stomped on them, saying, "That’s what you get for trying to look cool, asshole!" I suffer from light-induced migraines. FML

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By PhDdaughter - Switzerland

Today, the electrician came because our kitchen light has been flickering. After examining the installation, he screws the lightbulb tighter in the socket. My parents both are PhDs. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I explained to my boss what clickbait is and why it's bad practice to use it when writing online. After my explanation, she ordered me to go ahead with it, saying it's "exactly what we need". This person is the marketing communications director for a major multinational company. FML

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By Jbs4lf - Belgium

Today, I got punched in the face by a drunk because I couldn't give him any cigarettes. I don't smoke. FML

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By crazycatlady - United States

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

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By Nadaz - United States - Charlotte

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

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By PukinFireman - United States

Today, it was my first day at the fire station. Naturally, we all went out and got lunch together. I normally don't handle spicy food well, but sucked it up. About ten minutes after we finished, I got up to do rookie duties when someone slapped me in the back. I forcefully vomited all over my new Lieutenant. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Antonio

Today, I'm neck-deep in debt paying for med school. What's worse, the professors here are so terrible that even the morons on Yahoo Answers are 100 times better at explaining my coursework to me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Honolulu

Today, I realized the only reason I was invited to go on vacation with my extended family was so I could babysit everyone's children while the adults go out and have fun. FML

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By imatool - United States

Today, I learned that my wife had an affair with another guy. She met him while we were on a trip in another state for marriage counseling. The reason we were in marriage counseling was because she had no desire for sex, and we had gone for two years without it. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Hemel Hempstead

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML

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By RIPcareer - United States - Ellicott City

Today, after submitting my college application, I noticed that I mistyped "math enthusiast" as "meth enthusiast". FML

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By roo - United Kingdom

Today, I was getting a flight home. I'd worn a belt because my skirt was too big. When I walked through security, they asked me to remove my belt. My skirt fell down in front of everyone. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

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By dlova - United States

Today, I was at a party and spent the whole night bragging to my friends about how I thought this girl was totally into me. As we were leaving, we saw the same girl making out with my ex. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I finally found the words to describe how I felt after 2 years of depression. I asked on Yahoo Answers what I should do next. The most 'helpful' answer told me to go on a picnic. FML

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By unwanted - Canada

Today, I told my mom about how my friend is going to China for a year instead of college. My mom suggested that I could do the same. When I told her that a trip to China is probably more expensive than my college tuition, my mom replied, "Not for a one way ticket". FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Gainesboro

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. In the heat of the moment, I said his name. He immediately stopped, gave me a deadly serious look and said "Huh? What?" FML

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By achoooo - United States

Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML

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Top comments

By LissaMccracken | 23

#5818161 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:04

I think its too late for that...

By GhostChickens | 17

#5818177 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:07

Why would your first instinct be to rip them off? Melt the wax, wash the wax away, whatever. Don't rip your eyebrows off, ouch! I feel sorry for you, dude, but you made a big mistake.

COMMENTS

By LissaMccracken | 23

#5818161 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:04

I think its too late for that...

By YourBatteryIsLow | 8

#5818166 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:05

I have a feeling that won't help anymore... It says she has very little of her eyebrows left so that implies that she already ripped them off...

By Bano360 | 25

#5818168 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:05

I've had my eyebrows shaved off in my sleep. I was at a 3 week camp where you learn Irish and live with a family. We had big prank wars. Anyway the girls just drew eyebrows for me with whatever they do it with.

MexiMental | 10

#5818327 - Monday 6 January 2014 3:39

Make everyone else's eyebrows completely disappear in their sleep

TheWildRover1 | 12

#5818374 - Monday 6 January 2014 4:31

ahhh the god auld ghaelteacht!

harshallmeim69 | 9

#5818532 - Monday 6 January 2014 7:12

geogwich :D (just read it out loud you understand. I can't type in Irish. )

TheWildRover1 | 12

#5821137 - Wednesday 8 January 2014 19:24

nice try but its dia duit (dee-ah gwitch) and the reply to that is dia is mhuire duit (dee-ah iss murr-ah gwitch)

By golden_warrior | 23

#5818169 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:05

Camera time, just incase they do it again. However, you should be able narrow down who did it because it's your family and you show know each of their characteristic by now.

Helpfulman | 17

#5818551 - Monday 6 January 2014 7:38

What if it was a ghost?

Ukeee_X | 19

#5818842 - Monday 6 January 2014 15:47

Or the quiet one? I have heard it's often them

By GhostChickens | 17

#5818177 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:07

Why would your first instinct be to rip them off? Melt the wax, wash the wax away, whatever. Don't rip your eyebrows off, ouch! I feel sorry for you, dude, but you made a big mistake.

tomwantssnow | 14

#5818250 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:50

Yeah I'm surprised there are still people that don't realize that Google can solve all of your problems

ThatFancyPenn | 18

#5818512 - Monday 6 January 2014 6:46

Or if OP had already ripped it off, they could just draw them back on like most people do nowadays!

By volkener12 | 1

#5818183 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:08

Hop in the shower

WhoWhat_fml | 10

#5819183 - Monday 6 January 2014 23:15

I don't think showering will magically restore OP's eyebrows...

By Missyeru | 14

#5818187 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:10

That sucks, but they'll grow baxk

tomwantssnow | 14

#5818252 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:51

Until then, she will have to live with sharpie eyebrows

truth_teller23 | 11

#5818447 - Monday 6 January 2014 5:24

There's makeup for eyebrows ya know? Sharpie eyebrows are just plain dumb.

StompinOnCrayons | 15

#5818665 - Monday 6 January 2014 10:45

Sometimes the makeup looks like it's been done with sharpies... or crayons.

By SMHsohard | 22

#5818193 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:12

"Stupid excuse of a prank"?

I don't know, sounds pretty good to me, especially since you can't figure out who did it. Your family must be amazing poker players.

Chris93Jones | 20

#5818348 - Monday 6 January 2014 4:18

I'm doing this to people from now on.

By sunnyray812 | 42

#5818194 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:13

Must've been an ornery younger sibling.

By gracehi | 31

#5818205 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:15

Meyer be thorough in your revenge then. Wax everyone else's eyebrows off just to be sure.