Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips...

By I will find you and I will fucking fuck y - United Kingdom - Falmouth

Today, I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips stuck to my eyebrows. I now have very little of my eyebrows remaining, and just as little idea which idiot in my family pulled this stupid excuse of a prank. FML

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Miscellaneous

Family values

Season finale

Eye-bleach please

By AkaiKitsune - Canada - Victoria

Today, while riding around the lake, a pair of kids thought it was okay to take turns yanking my horse's tail and running away so they didn't get kicked. When I told the parents not to let their kids do that, they said that I shouldn't be riding if I can't "control my beast". FML

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4858

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By thelunarwolf

Today, while trying to have a serious conversation with my husband about his drug use over text, he came home. Drunk. FML

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28765

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8852

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By Dudeman5000 - France

Today, I get home and there's a package waiting for me. I ordered something online 2 weeks ago for a girl I like. She's not available anymore. No refunds. FML

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22550

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

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54522

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12400

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By yupimher

The long goodbye

Today, I found out my job is trying to get me to quit. FML

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1600

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139

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By Anonymous - 12/5/2020 14:00

Dumb question

Today, “Who decided that?” was apparently not the correct thing to reply to a cop. FML

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554

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1759

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By anon - United States - Kennett

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

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45252

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By Ashley - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML

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31443

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By GTR - United Kingdom

Today, I bought a car. After just ten minutes, my hub caps had been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32179

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3316

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By Rmglrsm

Today, at work, I was helping someone who really sounded like she had a Boston accent. So, I asked her where she was from. She has never been out of state. Turns out she has a speech impediment. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12875

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1749

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By he's still not convinced - United States

Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML

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47173

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By headdesk - United States - Kaneohe

Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML

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57414

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By lovely321 - United States

Today, I was giving a strip tease over Skype to my boyfriend. My mom walked in mid-way through, took a long look at me, said hi to my boyfriend, and walked out. FML

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18662

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49924

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By unrequited - United States

Today, I drove the width of the country to tell the girl I've lost that I'm in love with her. She wasn't home. FML

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42452

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13168

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By BikerGuy - Canada - Alhambra

Today, the girl who likes me incredibly much asked me if she could come for a ride with me on my motorcycle. Normally this isn't a problem as I take lots of people out for rides for fun, but this time I had no choice but to tell her she couldn't because she's just too heavy for it. FML

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21748

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2170

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By naughtymommy0317 - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

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59943

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5891

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By SleepyMommy - United States - Pomona

Today, my husband was going to let me sleep in for Mother's Day. That would have been great, if my brother didn't call me at 5:30 in the morning to say Happy Mother's Day. Now I'm up like any other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11322

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1042

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By Anonymous - 5/7/2020 23:01

Don't shoot the messenger

Today, after I got wasted about 5 months ago and lost my virginity to a total bitch I used to work with and regretted it straight away, this morning she texts me that she’s pregnant, and that I should probably get an STD screening because she also just found out she has gonorrhoea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1257

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1767

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By FireoftheFuture - United States

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30889

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55786

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By Indigo_Kitten - United States

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

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31828

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By Anonymous

Today, I stubbed my toe, and as I was hopping about clutching my toe and swearing like a drunken sailor, I turned and saw my boss, our CEO and pretty much the entire board of directors through the boardroom's open door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1384

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476

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By angrystudent - United States - Franklin

Today, I spent all day doing a project for myself and then for a friend who's sick. Turned out it was a prank everyone in the class was pulling on me. I missed a baseball game because of it. FML

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19479

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2055

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By babysitter - United States

Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML

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84315

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By libraries are a girl's best friend - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML

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40869

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By Badkitty14 - Canada - Mississauga

Issues

Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend asked me what he should get his mother for her birthday. FML

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31519

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By cold-n-stinky - United States

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

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31730

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By happybirthday2me - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, it's my 25th birthday, I celebrated it by cooking my favourite meal for my parents and sister, while they watched TV and house-hunted for my sister. I have yet to hear a happy birthday, receive a card, a present or a phone call. Oh, and my parents are on a diet, so they complained my cooking wasn’t "on their plan." FML

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2033

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153

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By blonde moment

Today, while talking to a friend, I momentarily forgot the word for archery and instead called it, “Bow-and-Arrow Jutsu.” FML

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1134

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504

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By j0hn - United States

Today, I saw my mom sneaking meat into her spaghetti sauce. She told me she sneaks meat into most of the food she cooks. I've been a vegetarian for 8 years. FML

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52889

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By Anonymous

Today, I was prescribed two different medications. I was also informed that they will both give me diarrhea for the next two weeks. FML

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1493

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By hushed - Canada - Leduc

Everyone's A Critic

Today, I was hushed in a theatre during a play. I would normally appreciate a discreet silencing in the audience, but I was saying my lines. FML

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3785

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232

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By PoopTart - United States

Today, I gave my sister a stun gun for her birthday since she recently had a couple "close calls" walking home from work late at night. She was so excited and thankful that she wanted to express her gratitude by shocking me to see if it really worked. FML

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59068

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By norestforthewicked

Today, my family and I discovered that my sleepwalking has escalated into sleep-raiding-the-fridge, after I woke up on my kitchen floor in a puddle of melted ice cream, surrounded by my parents, brother, and dogs. Apparently my recent dieting plans aren't going over too well with my subconscious. FML

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34019

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

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29769

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By Username - United States

Today, I was so broke that I paid for a $0.28 candy bar with my credit card. FML

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29214

You deserved it

12749

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By MrZhang - Australia

Today, I had an interview with IBM. For a week I did extensive research and preparation for the interview. At first the interview was going really well. I was hitting all the marks. Then just as a final casual question she asked with a smile "What does IBM stand for?". I didn't know. FML

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39337

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By crosscountryfatigue

Today, with one week left until I fly to my new apartment, movers loaded my belongings and happily drove off. They even loaded my unpacked, inflated air mattress. Looks like I'm sleeping on the floor for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2514

You deserved it

358

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By Preggo

Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8499

You deserved it

818

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By Mouhahaa - France

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21588

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36218

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By IHateSchool-.- - United States

Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML

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Top comments

By LissaMccracken | 23

#5818161 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:04

I think its too late for that...

By GhostChickens | 17

#5818177 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:07

Why would your first instinct be to rip them off? Melt the wax, wash the wax away, whatever. Don't rip your eyebrows off, ouch! I feel sorry for you, dude, but you made a big mistake.

COMMENTS

By LissaMccracken | 23

#5818161 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:04

I think its too late for that...

By YourBatteryIsLow | 8

#5818166 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:05

I have a feeling that won't help anymore... It says she has very little of her eyebrows left so that implies that she already ripped them off...

By Bano360 | 25

#5818168 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:05

I've had my eyebrows shaved off in my sleep. I was at a 3 week camp where you learn Irish and live with a family. We had big prank wars. Anyway the girls just drew eyebrows for me with whatever they do it with.

MexiMental | 10

#5818327 - Monday 6 January 2014 3:39

Make everyone else's eyebrows completely disappear in their sleep

TheWildRover1 | 12

#5818374 - Monday 6 January 2014 4:31

ahhh the god auld ghaelteacht!

harshallmeim69 | 9

#5818532 - Monday 6 January 2014 7:12

geogwich :D (just read it out loud you understand. I can't type in Irish. )

TheWildRover1 | 12

#5821137 - Wednesday 8 January 2014 19:24

nice try but its dia duit (dee-ah gwitch) and the reply to that is dia is mhuire duit (dee-ah iss murr-ah gwitch)

By golden_warrior | 23

#5818169 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:05

Camera time, just incase they do it again. However, you should be able narrow down who did it because it's your family and you show know each of their characteristic by now.

Helpfulman | 17

#5818551 - Monday 6 January 2014 7:38

What if it was a ghost?

Ukeee_X | 19

#5818842 - Monday 6 January 2014 15:47

Or the quiet one? I have heard it's often them

By GhostChickens | 17

#5818177 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:07

Why would your first instinct be to rip them off? Melt the wax, wash the wax away, whatever. Don't rip your eyebrows off, ouch! I feel sorry for you, dude, but you made a big mistake.

tomwantssnow | 14

#5818250 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:50

Yeah I'm surprised there are still people that don't realize that Google can solve all of your problems

ThatFancyPenn | 18

#5818512 - Monday 6 January 2014 6:46

Or if OP had already ripped it off, they could just draw them back on like most people do nowadays!

By volkener12 | 1

#5818183 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:08

Hop in the shower

WhoWhat_fml | 10

#5819183 - Monday 6 January 2014 23:15

I don't think showering will magically restore OP's eyebrows...

By Missyeru | 14

#5818187 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:10

That sucks, but they'll grow baxk

tomwantssnow | 14

#5818252 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:51

Until then, she will have to live with sharpie eyebrows

truth_teller23 | 11

#5818447 - Monday 6 January 2014 5:24

There's makeup for eyebrows ya know? Sharpie eyebrows are just plain dumb.

StompinOnCrayons | 15

#5818665 - Monday 6 January 2014 10:45

Sometimes the makeup looks like it's been done with sharpies... or crayons.

By SMHsohard | 22

#5818193 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:12

"Stupid excuse of a prank"?

I don't know, sounds pretty good to me, especially since you can't figure out who did it. Your family must be amazing poker players.

Chris93Jones | 20

#5818348 - Monday 6 January 2014 4:18

I'm doing this to people from now on.

By sunnyray812 | 42

#5818194 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:13

Must've been an ornery younger sibling.

By gracehi | 31

#5818205 - Monday 6 January 2014 1:15

Meyer be thorough in your revenge then. Wax everyone else's eyebrows off just to be sure.