Transportation: Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was...

By seriously though - United States - Littleton

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML

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Transportation

Season finale

Hello, Goodbye

Tasty!

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I picked up a warm blanket that just came out of the dryer. Despite wearing pants, the static electricity from the blanket delivered a shock straight to my crotch. FML

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By not what she said - 1/6/2020 20:00

Misheard

Today, I was on a Zoom call. My sister offered to go get lunch and I told her, "Don’t forget the baguettes." One overly sensitive coworker swears I used a derogatory slur that sounds the same. I didn’t. However, I’m still going to be investigated by my boss. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/4/2020 02:00

Deal or no Deal

Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

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By swimmonster81

Today, my mother told me how she managed to afford all of the expensive Christmas presents we got. She took out extra money when applying for my student loans. FML

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By Nohouseforme - United States - Tempe

Today, I was house-hunting online. I was becoming increasingly discouraged and began to look for mini-houses in absurd desperation. I noticed the Google sidebar advertising a cute mini house within my budget. Excited, I clicked on the ad - only to discover it was an ad for a child's playhouse. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Oakland

Today, I finally found the jewelry my two-year-old son had lost when it got lodged in my foot. FML

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By blinkanimgone - Australia

Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML

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By UniStudi

Today I sent a message out to a support group to get and give support following a sexual assault, the person who responded and was giving advice was the person who assaulted me. FML

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By poorcar - United States

Today, my parents asked if they could borrow my car. Why? Because they were going to see someone about a Craig's List ad and wanted to look poor. FML

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By AmICrappyEveryOtherDay - Canada

Today, I received my first compliment in a really long time. It went, "Hey, you don't look like crap today." FML

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By elsaza - France

Today, I was on a date with my new boyfriend. I acted very flirty and laughed very loudly to show him how funny he was. I laughed so loudly that I farted. FML

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By raven_teen_titan - United States

Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML

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By momoffour - United States

Today, I found out that my husband's secretary named her new baby boy after my husband. Everyone at the office thinks it's funny. My husband says it's a coincidence. FML

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By EwokLover17 - United States

Today, my iPod came back from repair and still had a distorted sound. I've been through calls, meetings, and repairs with Apple since Christmas, and it still sounds like the half speaker in my old car. Then I found out the new Nano requires you to push the headphones plug in harder. FML

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By sparky83000 - Canada

Today, at work on a construction site, my coworker dropped a small piece of metal from 4 stories, and it struck another worker. We quickly began to climb down to see if the person was OK, and the same coworker dropped a metal pole, and crushed my hand, two minutes after the first accident. FML

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By Miko - United States

Today, my friend caught me watching a movie on Oxygen instead of the Super Bowl. I'm a guy. FML

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By Username - United States

Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML

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By L_M_AND_R_L - United States

Today, I asked my mom not to bring her dog to my wedding, since he's a real pain in the ass. She told me not to worry about it because she didn't feel like going anyway. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Eynsham

Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Spring Hope

Today, I am sitting next to a guy who very clearly has lice crawling on his head. It's a six hour flight. FML

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By snowbunny - United States

Today, I bundled up to shovel my car out of almost 2 feet of snow, only to find my car was gone. I ran into the nearby police station to report my stolen car. The policeman trudged down with me to get a report. I had parked my car on the other side of the street. FML

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By UnknownKitten - United States - Elgin

Today, I returned home after a long day of work. I noticed that my kitten had gotten a hold of my pin cushion, and that there were no needles left in it. My husband and I have only managed to find one, out of 16. FML

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By Anonymous - Chile

Today, I finally quit my job after talking with a friend about making our own design/multimedia company. While I was on my way to his house, he called me and told me not to quit because he got an awesome job offer and couldn't refuse. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my college dormitory accused me of something I didn't do, breaking a law that I never heard of, charged me $200 to fix "what I did wrong", and is forcing me to go to counciling at the school. Not only was I not on campus when it happened, but I was the one who reported the problem. FML

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By why me?? - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was leaving my friends' apartment in my mom's car and I backed into a fire hydrant. I lied and told my mom it was a hit and run. So she called the apartment complex. They had me on video hitting the fire hydrant. FML

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By Countdown has begun

Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate hooked up with a guy she met at a party. After telling me about it, she says to me, "Maybe next time we go out we'll hit someone over the head and drag him back here for you." Apparently the only way I can get a guy is if he's unconscious. FML

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By krh14 - United States - Crofton

Today, my girlfriend was feeling a little down, so I tried to console her. She said she just needed space and I respected that. Then an hour later she was fine, so I asked how she did it. She replied that she talked to her ex for a whole hour. This is a common procedure. FML

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By mike oxsmall - United States

Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML

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By Carmen - 9/3/2020 15:00

That Monday morning feeling

Today, I couldn't sleep because a group of drunken guys decided to stay out all night singing Disney songs. They had loudspeakers too. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to visit my grandmother. My grandfather recently died, so I had gotten her a cat for comfort. Turns out in her sadness, she had forgotten about the cat. I found its remains being eaten by ants and birds. FML

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By jasmine

Today, I found out the hard way, that yes, a condom can break. Also, that sometimes when it does, your boyfriend won't say anything until you start having morning sickness. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is. I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth. FML

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By sothisishowidie - Guam - Yigo

Today, my friends and I spent a little too long enjoying a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean. We spent the next 3 hours lost in a pitch black jungle with only one pocket-sized flashlight. FML

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By Notthekeytosuccess

Today, I broke my key unlocking my dorm room. When I pushed the door open in frustration, the door opened with no problem. Turns out it was unlocked. FML

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By bug20 - United States - Wooster

Today, I received an almost $400 bill for Internet services I don't even have. When I called and talk to them they told me I still owe them $77 because I didn't catch it within 3 months. FML

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By Battlebarney - United States - Washington

Today, I learned that the burning sensation I get on my balls isn't from when my girlfriend poured hot sauce on my balls as a prank, it's actually gonorrhea. FML

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By dwhite032 - United States

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

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By strictly cum prancing - United States

Today, my boyfriend backed out on our date so he could help his best friend get ready for some kind of drag queen competition. FML

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Top comments

By Lioness8197 | 18

#5865715 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:15

Hopefully whoever you're staying with can help you out. Good luck!

By chelsearenaeee | 16

#5865724 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:27

Am I the only one wondering what airport this is??

COMMENTS

By Lioness8197 | 18

#5865715 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:15

Hopefully whoever you're staying with can help you out. Good luck!

greekk | 21

#5865850 - Saturday 22 February 2014 19:43

his on internet so we can hope!

By foxy_grampa | 19

#5865716 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:18

Talk about a bad day. Sorry OP. Hopefully things have gotten better since then

Redoxx_fml | 22

#5865764 - Saturday 22 February 2014 17:49

Nah, after leaving the airport OP shared a cab and got Taken.

By Comet_Candy | 23

#5865718 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:19

Does your name happen to be Brian? For real, though... That's some serious bad luck. I hope things get better for you!

By Zelphoric | 25

#5865719 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:20

And I thought my life was bad. Sorry OP, hope things get better soon :)

By singer0421 | 32

#5865721 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:22

Yeah airports aren't nearly as safe and efficient as they make themselves seem.

By chelsearenaeee | 16

#5865724 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:27

Am I the only one wondering what airport this is??

FracturedMinds | 21

#5865782 - Saturday 22 February 2014 18:29

I have my money on Detroit.

Andrea2196 | 8

#5865837 - Saturday 22 February 2014 19:28

That's exactly what I thought.

DaMann360 | 19

#5865845 - Saturday 22 February 2014 19:37

26, racist much?

droid1126 | 25

#5865847 - Saturday 22 February 2014 19:41

#35 Detroit is a city. Not a race

hashshim | 21

#5865936 - Saturday 22 February 2014 21:01

The award for most nonsensical comment on all of FML goes to you, 37.

kingbrizo | 24

#5866167 - Sunday 23 February 2014 4:55

perhaps LAX?

1947Chevy | 17

#5866217 - Sunday 23 February 2014 6:16

I was figuring about any major city is a possibility. Detroit, LA, NY or any other that can be thought of

MyUsernameIsBest | 11

#5866296 - Sunday 23 February 2014 9:46

Gotta lose your stuff in Detroit, Rock City!

i_h8t_everything | 12

#5870151 - Thursday 27 February 2014 2:39

#57 NY is not the same thing as the NYC.

By Bookoholic | 11

#5865725 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:28

That's a lot of bad luck, I'm sorry OP. I hope someone you know can help you and you have some better days.

By AFCCT | 7

#5865726 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:28

At least they didn't take your pride... Oh wait

By Zoey_M_fml | 24

#5865728 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:35

Maybe your suitcase will be found later OP. I had a cousin whose suitcase was found almost 3 days later!

vipirius | 18

#5865758 - Saturday 22 February 2014 17:44

Yeah, I've had baggage lost and then found again 3 weeks later. Don't lose hope OP!

By gingaa96 | 18

#5865729 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:41

N***a! Help Me! Help. Me. N***a!