Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was...

By seriously though - 22/2/2014 05:48 - United States - Littleton

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML

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Transportation

Instadrama

Assumptions

Hello everyone!

By zerom - 23/7/2011 00:52 - France

Today, I was discussing the traffic with my brother. He said the most common car colour is red. I said it was black. We ended up betting €100 on which three vehicles of either colour would pass by our house first. It seems a convoy of fire trucks had somewhere to be in a hurry. FML

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By mom - 26/1/2014 04:29 - United States - Spring

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

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By Tiber46 - 26/5/2013 08:33 - United States - Long Beach

Today, the vet sent me an email wishing my kitten a happy 2nd birthday. My cat died last year. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/10/2014 20:46 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I received an email from an angry parent, demanding that I give his daughter an A on a project which I had given her a 0 on. The project was to pick an article related to science and to write an essay on it. Hers was a hoax article relating to Ebola patients rising from the dead. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/5/2011 21:53 - Ireland

Today, I was getting funny looks all day. When I got home I realised that I was interrupted while doing my make-up this morning and completely forgot to fill in my second eye brow. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/8/2013 08:38 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

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By anonamous - 17/7/2009 16:59 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/1/2012 01:07 - United States

Today, I was singing the National Anthem at a school game and totally forgot the words. So I kept singing the same two lines over and over. FML

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By Anonymous - 3/9/2009 12:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML

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By sfabsits - 17/7/2011 07:00 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, two girls ran up a tab of $60 in drinks. They ended up not paying the bill and walking out. My boss told me it won't be the first time or last, as he made me pay their bill. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/3/2010 08:57 - United States

Today, my roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She described in length how emaciated my chest has become and how she wants to help. Except I don't have an eating disorder. My sternum is deformed and I have only recently become confident enough to wear low-cut tops. FML

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By sauve dino. - 25/3/2016 03:12 - France - Groslay

Today, I explained to my five year-old son that the dinosaurs were wiped out because of a meteorite that hit our planet. He replied, "They should've stood out of the way." FML

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By Husband to be....maybe - 9/6/2018 09:00

Today, I found out I was allergic to bees, the hard way, at my wedding. FML

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By stephiew - 14/7/2011 03:15 - United States

Today, I got a nose bleed in the ladies bathroom. An old lady comes out of a stall and says, "Oh, your nose is bleeding. Well I shit my pants. I'm sure it'll come out in the wash." FML

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By Anonymous - 30/3/2019 22:00

Today...I started my day with a head cold and sore throat. I am ending the day with my period and explosive diarrhea. Oh and to top it all off, I live in the midwest, where the wind chills are going to be -50 tomorrow...FML

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By Anonymous - 1/8/2012 05:51 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, my sister and I were watching the Olympics. Michael Phelps was on the screen, and I was thinking how hot he is. My sister commented on how he looks so much like our brother. I can never look at either of them the same way ever again. FML

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By konacoffee17 - 14/12/2014 05:15 - United States - Portland

Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/6/2016 16:21 - India

Today, a few weeks after moving back to my home country, I found out my diploma isn't recognized here. The only training provider I can find that can upgrade it to something valid wants another 2 years of my life, 500 hours of work experience and $16,000. FML

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By SophieGray - 20/5/2011 23:33 - United States

Today, I went over to a guy's house for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me that I reminded him of his dead ferret. Distraught, he tearfully showed me her ashes. FML

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By disturbedgd - 3/4/2017 20:00 - South Africa - Durban

Today, I had my first steamy wet dream. It contained the Power Rangers. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/7/2011 06:29 - United States

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

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By Thatguynoonelikes - 29/9/2015 13:21 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I was babysitting a couple of kids. I'd spent time with them before, so I brought my video game console to play with them. I forgot to take it home with me. They soon sold it to another kid for $10. FML

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By sdeeter - 29/4/2013 13:39 - United States

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

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By Good tenant - 3/5/2019 23:00 - United Kingdom - Consett

Today, my landlord increase my rent because of the "increased value of the flat". Why has the value increased? Because I decorated and replaced the broken fixtures. FML

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By David Ryan - 11/9/2020 09:02 - United Kingdom

Brain worms

Today, I was walking by a neighbour when he said, "Is your dad home?" I swiftly replied, "I'm good thanks." FML

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By Well okay then - 9/10/2016 17:12 - United States - Palmdale

Today, after letting the painters working on my house know that they're more than welcome to use my restroom, I walked outside only to find three of them pissing in my garden. One even aimed for my tomatoes. FML

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By killerxdeagles - 23/12/2014 02:22 - United States - Wichita

Today, I was t-boned and my truck was rendered useless. I was given a ticket even though the man who hit me ran a red light. Why? Because there was dirt on my license plate. FML

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By footinmouth - 13/9/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

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By Anonymous - 2/7/2013 23:16 - United States - Mcdonough

Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up. After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot for thirty seconds, and then lay on my stomach and do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really part of the check-up. You're large on the hips. Lay off the Cheetos." FML

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By Fartnonymous - 18/8/2015 10:59 - Qatar - Doha

Today, it's been a week since I started farting in my sleep for no apparent reason. It's so frequent and so foul-smelling that my husband and I are both losing sleep and are having to take afternoon naps to make up for it. FML

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By FUCKKKS - 3/3/2013 17:37 - United States

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

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By gross - 15/7/2016 03:06 - United States - Cuyahoga Falls

Today, after giving a potential employee a drug test and instructing her to leave her urine sample in the bathroom, she not only brought it into the office, she spilled it on the front desk. FML

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By not as scarred as he should be - 18/10/2012 18:19 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

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By thesockmancometh - 30/7/2009 15:21 - United States

Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML

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By auraya1985 - 12/9/2015 21:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I got called into the school by my daughter's teacher. Apparently my daughter informed her class that over the weekend she spent her time with her daddy watching porn stars while her mummy was at work. It took a long time to convince her they were actually watching a TV show called "Pawn Stars". FML

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By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 08:03 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was sad I'd forgotten to bake him the cookies that I was planning to send to him for Christmas. His response was "Good, you suck at cooking anyway." FML

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By Anonymous - 1/7/2017 06:00 - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, I was driving when a woman started crossing the street against the light at the upcoming intersection, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped short of hitting her. That's when she intentionally jumped onto my car and started screaming that I had "mowed her down". The cops believed her. FML

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By cstokes - 5/5/2011 04:44 - United States

Today, at work, I was supposed to have an easy two-hour shift, after which I was planning on attending a party that had been arranged to celebrate my graduation. Nearly six hours later, I am just getting home after being super busy and shorthanded at work for hours. I missed my own party. FML

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By mickymoose1 - 19/7/2020 02:02

Stinky

Today, my dog decided to play with a skunk. Today is also the day I figured out that no matter how much you wash everything that's come in contact with the smell, it will never go away. FML

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By hairdresser - 9/3/2013 09:05 - Australia

Today, my boss told me that, while he respects the fact that I have my own style, I have to stop wearing "that hideous wig" because apparently, it "makes the clientele uncomfortable". I don't have a wig. It's my natural hair. FML

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Top comments

By Lioness8197 | 18

#5865715 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:15

Hopefully whoever you're staying with can help you out. Good luck!

By chelsearenaeee | 16

#5865724 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:27

Am I the only one wondering what airport this is??

COMMENTS

By Lioness8197 | 18

#5865715 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:15

Hopefully whoever you're staying with can help you out. Good luck!

greekk | 21

#5865850 - Saturday 22 February 2014 19:43

his on internet so we can hope!

By foxy_grampa | 19

#5865716 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:18

Talk about a bad day. Sorry OP. Hopefully things have gotten better since then

Redoxx_fml | 22

#5865764 - Saturday 22 February 2014 17:49

Nah, after leaving the airport OP shared a cab and got Taken.

By Comet_Candy | 23

#5865718 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:19

Does your name happen to be Brian? For real, though... That's some serious bad luck. I hope things get better for you!

By Zelphoric | 25

#5865719 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:20

And I thought my life was bad. Sorry OP, hope things get better soon :)

By singer0421 | 32

#5865721 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:22

Yeah airports aren't nearly as safe and efficient as they make themselves seem.

By chelsearenaeee | 16

#5865724 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:27

Am I the only one wondering what airport this is??

FracturedMinds | 21

#5865782 - Saturday 22 February 2014 18:29

I have my money on Detroit.

Andrea2196 | 8

#5865837 - Saturday 22 February 2014 19:28

That's exactly what I thought.

DaMann360 | 19

#5865845 - Saturday 22 February 2014 19:37

26, racist much?

droid1126 | 25

#5865847 - Saturday 22 February 2014 19:41

#35 Detroit is a city. Not a race

hashshim | 21

#5865936 - Saturday 22 February 2014 21:01

The award for most nonsensical comment on all of FML goes to you, 37.

kingbrizo | 24

#5866167 - Sunday 23 February 2014 4:55

perhaps LAX?

1947Chevy | 17

#5866217 - Sunday 23 February 2014 6:16

I was figuring about any major city is a possibility. Detroit, LA, NY or any other that can be thought of

MyUsernameIsBest | 11

#5866296 - Sunday 23 February 2014 9:46

Gotta lose your stuff in Detroit, Rock City!

i_h8t_everything | 12

#5870151 - Thursday 27 February 2014 2:39

#57 NY is not the same thing as the NYC.

By Bookoholic | 11

#5865725 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:28

That's a lot of bad luck, I'm sorry OP. I hope someone you know can help you and you have some better days.

By AFCCT | 7

#5865726 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:28

At least they didn't take your pride... Oh wait

By Zoey_M_fml | 24

#5865728 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:35

Maybe your suitcase will be found later OP. I had a cousin whose suitcase was found almost 3 days later!

vipirius | 18

#5865758 - Saturday 22 February 2014 17:44

Yeah, I've had baggage lost and then found again 3 weeks later. Don't lose hope OP!

By gingaa96 | 18

#5865729 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:41

N***a! Help Me! Help. Me. N***a!