Transportation: Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was...

By seriously though - United States - Littleton

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML

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Transportation

Walk on the wild side

College life is hell

I can't quit you

By zlotytarasy - Poland

Today, I accepted a great job offer I've been working months to earn so I can continue to live with my fiancé here in Poland. I just found out that my work visa was denied. Now I have to fly home to Canada and reapply before coming back. This takes a month. My new job starts tomorrow. FML

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32846

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By Anonymous - 13/10/2020 23:01

Alternative medicine is bull

Today, when my neighbor came over to ask about a serious rash her child had, she totally passed by me, the EMT/firefighter, to ask the hippy pastry chef what she thought of it, and if she had oils to "cure" it. So much for my job. FML

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1025

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By loser - United States

Today, I had to sell my wedding ring to help me pay for my divorce. FML

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45618

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By Crampon - United States

Today, I called my mom to tell her: "Mom, I finally got my period!" There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML

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By TayRenee - United States - Rock Hill

Today, while in an ambulance after being in a car wreck, the EMT told me I would need to sign some electronic paperwork. He held it above my head for me to sign and promptly dropped it on my my face, breaking my nose. FML

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By HarleyGirl - United States - Sterling Heights

Today, I watched my fiancé ride off on my motorcycle with another girl. FML

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4752

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By kinky - United States

Today, I had to explain to my doctor and parents that I dislocated my shoulder while masturbating. FML

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By Anonymous

C'est la langue de l'amour!

Today, my French teacher set up a role-play scenario to act out in front of the class. During one of my lines, I mispronounced a phrase and called my teacher sexy. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, the guy I really like acknowledged my existence for the first time. Too bad it was through a text saying "lol ur a fat fukc". FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Milton

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML

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By whovian - United States - Gorham

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

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By screwed - United States

Today, I was hit by a truck while walking to school. It was the driver's fault as I was in a crosswalk. My parents met me at the hospital where I had minor injuries. They began discussing what the insurance money would be spent on. They decided on a second honeymoon to Las Vegas. FML

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By Breadline single mom - 26/12/2020 19:56

"Life is unfair…"

Today, my deadbeat ex-husband who works at a country club was invited to play poker with some club members as they needed a last player. He’s rubbish at poker but got some lucky hands and ended up winning £112,000 from those rich guys. Life isn’t fair. FML

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By hotboxed

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

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By Sara - United States - Manassas

Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was pushed over and robbed in a parking lot by a man in an ugly Christmas sweater. When I looked up, I was too distracted by the sweater to even look at his face. FML

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By shay786

My eyes!

Today, I heard grunting and then realized it was my tenant with his boyfriend. When I went down to do my laundry, I caught them in the act. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I met a girl who was just as socially anxious as me. We spent the whole night staring at each other, then quickly looking away when the other person saw. FML

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By Benji - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML

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Special wedding

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

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By HousemateHorror

Today, I walked into my dorm to find the guy I have feelings for sleeping with my roommate. I signed a lease with them for next year and can't back out now. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I hit someone’s car and got arrested for a DUI. I had to tell my parents so they could remove me from the insurance. My mom's response in the background after I told my dad was "I knew it." FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, after dating for almost five years, my boyfriend stated that I have a "perfect and amazing personality" but that my looks are not what he "envisioned himself spending the rest of his life with." In other words, I'm ugly. FML

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By jlol - United States

Today, my teacher reached over to hand me a paper. I thought it would be funny to flinch and say, "Dad, please don't hit me". Unfortunately, he didn't think it was a joke, so I got questioned by the on-campus officer. FML

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By tracey - United States

Today, I got pulled over for going 85mph in a 60mph zone on a highway in the Everglades. There were cars passing both the cop and me as I was being pulled over. The cop decided I was easiest to catch since I was the slowest of the bunch even though the other cars were topping 100mph. FML

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By frustrated - United States - Forest Park

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4am. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

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By Marie - 11/6/2020 17:12

Reverse psychology

Today, while trying to get my picky daughter to eat her dinner, I pretended to take some of her food and give it to her brother, thinking that would get her to eat it. Instead, she thanked me. FML

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By Akashi - 22/7/2020 14:00

Nutfirecracker

Today, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch and his legs were on my lap. We heard a loud firework from somewhere outside our window, we both jumped and I felt the pain of him kicking me in the nuts. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Toronto

Excuuuuuuse me?

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend furiously bitched me out because I got more upset about my phone screen cracking than when she told me about the death of her cat. We hadn't even met when her cat died. Did she expect me to burst into tears from hearing the story? Guess who's single again! FML

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By Anonymous

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

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By HLRJ - United States - Concord

Today, after my husband said he forgot our anniversary 2 days ago because he was so focused on planning for today, he forgot what was so important about today. It's my birthday. FML

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By thebiteof87 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was reading a picture storybook to a kindergarten kid. She could pronounce more words than me, and corrected me. I'm about triple her age. FML

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By blueglover - United States - Perris

Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML

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By adrenochrome - Lithuania

Today, I learnt that nail polish remover is, in fact, VERY flammable. And I learnt it the hard way. FML

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By DumbFish

Today, I got up the courage to go to a nice place for lunch alone. I wasn't expecting the tilapia I ordered to be the whole fish, so I asked the waiter for a box because, "I forgot about an appointment in 20 minutes," just so he wouldn't think I was an idiot who didn't know what I was ordering. FML

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By Anonymous

Cold-blooded old times

Today, going through my dead grandma's papers, we found old faded photos. I showed them to my mum, who screamed in shock. They were grandma and granddad's erotic photos from about seventy years ago. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/8/2020 05:02

Bored

Today, I'm considering working as an escort again, to get some human closeness, have interesting conversations and feel wanted and appreciated. I'm actually in a steady relationship; I guess it’s not a very good one. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Guelph

Today, a woman started giving me grief because we didn't have any Boxing Day sales. As I explained to her that dollar stores don't usually have sales, she tried to lamp me. It ended by her getting dragged out of the store. FML

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By johnnydoe6969 - United States

Today, I went camping and shared a tent with this girl I have been sleeping with here and there for a year. To impress her, I popped a certain male enhancement supplement. Thirty minutes later I found out she was on her period. What a long night. FML

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Top comments

By Lioness8197 | 18

#5865715 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:15

Hopefully whoever you're staying with can help you out. Good luck!

By chelsearenaeee | 16

#5865724 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:27

Am I the only one wondering what airport this is??

COMMENTS

By Lioness8197 | 18

#5865715 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:15

Hopefully whoever you're staying with can help you out. Good luck!

greekk | 21

#5865850 - Saturday 22 February 2014 19:43

his on internet so we can hope!

By foxy_grampa | 19

#5865716 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:18

Talk about a bad day. Sorry OP. Hopefully things have gotten better since then

Redoxx_fml | 22

#5865764 - Saturday 22 February 2014 17:49

Nah, after leaving the airport OP shared a cab and got Taken.

By Comet_Candy | 23

#5865718 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:19

Does your name happen to be Brian? For real, though... That's some serious bad luck. I hope things get better for you!

By Zelphoric | 25

#5865719 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:20

And I thought my life was bad. Sorry OP, hope things get better soon :)

By singer0421 | 32

#5865721 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:22

Yeah airports aren't nearly as safe and efficient as they make themselves seem.

By chelsearenaeee | 16

#5865724 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:27

Am I the only one wondering what airport this is??

FracturedMinds | 21

#5865782 - Saturday 22 February 2014 18:29

I have my money on Detroit.

Andrea2196 | 8

#5865837 - Saturday 22 February 2014 19:28

That's exactly what I thought.

DaMann360 | 19

#5865845 - Saturday 22 February 2014 19:37

26, racist much?

droid1126 | 25

#5865847 - Saturday 22 February 2014 19:41

#35 Detroit is a city. Not a race

hashshim | 21

#5865936 - Saturday 22 February 2014 21:01

The award for most nonsensical comment on all of FML goes to you, 37.

kingbrizo | 24

#5866167 - Sunday 23 February 2014 4:55

perhaps LAX?

1947Chevy | 17

#5866217 - Sunday 23 February 2014 6:16

I was figuring about any major city is a possibility. Detroit, LA, NY or any other that can be thought of

MyUsernameIsBest | 11

#5866296 - Sunday 23 February 2014 9:46

Gotta lose your stuff in Detroit, Rock City!

i_h8t_everything | 12

#5870151 - Thursday 27 February 2014 2:39

#57 NY is not the same thing as the NYC.

By Bookoholic | 11

#5865725 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:28

That's a lot of bad luck, I'm sorry OP. I hope someone you know can help you and you have some better days.

By AFCCT | 7

#5865726 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:28

At least they didn't take your pride... Oh wait

By Zoey_M_fml | 24

#5865728 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:35

Maybe your suitcase will be found later OP. I had a cousin whose suitcase was found almost 3 days later!

vipirius | 18

#5865758 - Saturday 22 February 2014 17:44

Yeah, I've had baggage lost and then found again 3 weeks later. Don't lose hope OP!

By gingaa96 | 18

#5865729 - Saturday 22 February 2014 16:41

N***a! Help Me! Help. Me. N***a!