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By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 22:28 - United States

Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 186

You deserved it 4 752

By A07 - 09/09/2015 18:48 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, I finally finished restoring a car after working on it for 6 months, so I took it out for a drive. On the way back, I stopped at a red light, but the drunk driver behind me didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 761

You deserved it 1 426

A07 tells us more.

A07 48

Thursday 10 September 2015 6:31

Hey guys, I'm the OP. It was 67 mustang fastback and I was driving it home from the workshop late at night. And to all those wondering, no the car didn't survive because the asshole was driving a truck, it's sitting in a garage but I don't even know if I'm going to go look at it for a while now.

Spray it

By catwoman - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 442

You deserved it 5 591

On time

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 05:40 - Canada

Today, I was walking towards the bus. The bus was scheduled to leave at 3:20, and it was 3:19 so I decided to run for it. As the doors were closing, I managed to just slip my hand into the door, so it didn't fully close. The bus driver saw this, looked at my face, and then drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 389

You deserved it 5 299

By steppppphhhhhh - 09/04/2013 08:18 - United States - Pacifica

Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 867

You deserved it 3 502

By hannamacintosh - 25/07/2016 14:13 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I told my husband that I think he has ADHD. He was offended and began to argue, then he got distracted by a dog outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 888

You deserved it 1 664

Classic

By anonymous - 18/09/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for going a few miles per hour over the speed limit. The cop asked for my license and registration. I happened to look down at my wallet while he was processing everything and saw my license in my wallet. I gave the cop my fake I.D. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 718

You deserved it 66 348

Handful

By Abeille - 17/03/2011 00:50 - Canada

Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 005

You deserved it 3 954

Look Rufus…

By jumbledgirl - 10/01/2012 05:25 - United States

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 466

You deserved it 2 490

By OzzyWannabee - 20/02/2015 08:12 - France - Issy-les-moulineaux

Today, I tried to overcome my shyness by warmly greeting the bus driver while entering it. I instead blurted out really loudly the words of the song my iPod was playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 031

You deserved it 7 202

By FMAhole - 12/02/2019 12:18 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while at the office, a surprise Valentine's gift arrived for me, the first I've ever received. It was a box of heart-shaped cookies. From my mother. I'm 39. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 4 147

Undercover

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was yelled at in public for staring at a guy in a wheelchair. I was staring because he was so good looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 619

You deserved it 4 801

By no - 17/11/2014 02:26 - United States

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 655

You deserved it 4 007

By blkchkrm - 25/12/2009 00:37 - United States

Today, I decided I was going to do something nice for my parents for Christmas. So, I cleaned the entire house top to bottom, baked cookies, and made them both Christmas cards. What did I get in return? They asked me to wrap my four year old sister's presents, and let me know I got nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 954

You deserved it 2 742

By ineedsleep - 30/10/2014 14:15 - Finland - J?rvenp

Today, I found out that there's a very loud and frisky couple living above my bedroom, and a family with a crying baby living above my living room. At this rate, I'll end up sleeping in the bathtub in my own home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 726

You deserved it 2 755

Nope, just nope

By Anonycunt - 27/07/2013 16:30 - Germany - Bonn

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 367

You deserved it 4 017

By Anonymous - 28/06/2012 12:08 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 167

You deserved it 2 813

By Chefinblack - 19/10/2015 22:13 - Australia

Today, at my prestigious sous chef job, I was preparing to plate up expensive entrees for a function of 150 people. After arriving to work 2 hours early to finalize finishing touches, they call the restaurant 5 minutes before their booking stating, 'We can't be bothered anymore, sorry.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 048

You deserved it 1 543

By Cow_girl_cutie - 03/08/2011 07:47 - United States

Today, I was texting my boyfriend. He continued to tell me how he had to piss. We carried on this conversation for about 10 minutes, then I realized that was the most interesting conversation I have had with him in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 375

You deserved it 6 258

By Username - 03/10/2010 00:12 - France

Today, my boyfriend wanted to prove how honest he is so he showed me numerous texts in his phone where he told other women he was in a relationship before asking them to sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 654

You deserved it 3 367

Caught in 4K

By deservedly - 19/12/2022 09:27 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I clogged the only toilet at work. Thinking I could escape and blame someone else, I opened the door, only to see a line of people waiting outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 108

You deserved it 17 603

By Blondie - 23/03/2009 20:37 - United States

Today, I got a phone call from a detective in response to my stolen car that has been missing since St. Patrick's Day. He told me that he had found my car, but was chuckling the whole time. Turns out, I had parked my car in a different lot. I haven't had it for a week. It was never stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 248

You deserved it 92 872

By Alyssa - 31/03/2012 18:53 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I was kicked out of my review lecture at community college, for "being a disturbance and refusing to stop whistling." I wasn't even given a chance to explain that I have a cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 552

You deserved it 2 510

Sorry!

By Anonymous - 30/03/2012 14:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I got on the train with my bike, leaning it up against the wall. After a while, it began to slide down the wall and wobble, so I dashed out to catch it. As I ran for it, I slipped and crashed into it, knocking it into an old man and busting the rear brake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 325

You deserved it 4 934

By oh no - 22/06/2015 20:58 - United States - Vallejo

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 499

You deserved it 5 303

By Anonymous - 21/02/2014 07:02

Today, I was let go from work because they need "younger people". I'm 19 and I work at a flower market. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 621

You deserved it 3 331

By jking2z - 13/03/2015 22:39 - United States

Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 405

You deserved it 19 694

By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 10:41 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 248

You deserved it 1 922

Empathy

By kumcat - 11/01/2015 05:57 - United States - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply, "#rekt", then, "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 989

You deserved it 3 986

Method acting

By hannahk267 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was practicing my lines for theater class in the hall. My partner and I chose a script where we argue over me stealing her boyfriend. Since it started to sound like a real argument, another student said that I was a "crazy bitch" and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 625

You deserved it 4 501

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 671

You deserved it 6 686

Today, I went to fetch our bins after they were collected, only to scare the child that was trying to fit inside our compost bin. Apparently, she's not allowed to play in hers because she already broke two by doing this. These bins are $75 a piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 534

You deserved it 331

Today, my building's fire alarm went off. Unfortunately, this coincided with sexy time, and the loud alarm made me jumpy, making it extremely difficult to untie my naked boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 403

Today, I found out my boss likes to shit talk about me when I'm not around. The best part is that I don't know what I've done to piss him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 078

You deserved it 167

Today, I was sitting at home when the police knocked on my door. They came inside, sat me down and told me that both my parents died in a car crash tonight. I started to cry, but about 10 minutes later, I find out they had the wrong person. I feel bad for the other guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 843

You deserved it 130

Today, my mom argued with me that I should have went to an emergency room a further 18 minutes away from me, during a near fatal allergic reaction, so I would've received "better care." FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 88