Miscellaneous: Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular... - FML

By jking2z - 13/03/2015 22:39 - United States

Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 340

You deserved it 19 596

Broken heart

Empathy lives

Batman

By SleepyMommy - 08/05/2016 17:05 - United States - Pomona

Today, my husband was going to let me sleep in for Mother's Day. That would have been great, if my brother didn't call me at 5:30 in the morning to say Happy Mother's Day. Now I'm up like any other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 349

You deserved it 1 050

By vampyrate3562 - 29/01/2015 12:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to run for the train, but because of my bad foot and limping they held the train, much to people's displeasure. No one let me sit down, so for the 20 minute journey, I stood. With a bad foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 837

You deserved it 4 025

Life's a beach

By Derek - 28/05/2021 20:01 - United States

Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 1 070

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 771

You deserved it 26 253

By Anonymous - 04/01/2010 07:01 - United States

Today, I realized that getting an awesome new phone with all the new bells and whistles doesn't mean that people will now actually want to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 989

You deserved it 27 304

By Anonymous - 30/03/2013 20:38 - Germany - Bad Windsheim

Today, I went to the supermarket to get some Easter gifts for my kids. At the register, I was verbally abused to the point of tears by the cashier, for having way too many items for the 12 items or less lane. I had 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 437

You deserved it 15 595

Covidiots everywhere

By Seth - 19/12/2020 22:58

Today, I realised the biggest FML this year was getting into online debates with people about Covid not being a hoax. One guy even said it was over, while I knew the numbers were climbing back up as I work in health-care, and I was sat on a toilet with diarrhea because I have Covid myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 908

You deserved it 176

Racketeering

By Anonymous - 25/08/2021 04:01

Today, my car was damaged in an accident. At the garage, I happened to find out that if some big insurance company is paying for the repairs, they only charge half the hourly rate they charge people who have to pay from their own meager salaries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 78

By sleepless - 25/06/2019 20:00

Today, it's the third day that I can't sleep. Somewhere in my room, there's a mosquito craving for my blood, and every time I'm about to fall asleep, I can hear it flying around. I'm covered in bites, even in places that barely see the daylight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 149

Memorable presentation

By paul - 02/02/2010 11:25 - France

Today, I had a big meeting. Halfway through my presentation, I sneezed, and continued talking. I get some weird looks from my co-workers, but I didn't understand what they meant. When I finished, I passed by my boss walking to my chair, and he gave me a handkerchief. Why? Snot was all over my tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 236

You deserved it 4 747

By Anonymous - 11/08/2016 00:24 - United States - Denver

Today, on my way to a big convention in Chicago, I found out that when my friend said, "I live in Chicago," they really meant, "I live an hour and a half outside of Chicago." Hello traffic and hours of daily driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 583

You deserved it 1 755

Shark Week

By sharkboy - 11/06/2012 02:33 - United States - Honolulu

Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 866

You deserved it 31 183

By Kftc88 - 11/01/2013 08:03 - United States - Pomona

Today, I have severe back pain that is only relieved by lying flat on my bed. I also have acid reflux that is only prevented by sitting straight up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 099

You deserved it 2 920

By chocofreak - 10/05/2009 10:23 - United States

Today, I work at a chocolate factory on the sanitation shift. I was under a machine cleaning and a spider fell on me. I started freaking out and a coworker thought I got caught in the moving parts and frantically pulled me out and alerted my boss. Turns out it was just a piece of caramel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 168

You deserved it 44 836

By my cheese grater + your dick - 17/01/2014 17:35 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 037

You deserved it 5 283

By Dr. Jack - 04/02/2009 13:54 - United States

Today, my airline lost my luggage when I flew back from France. They also lost my luggage when I flew to France. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 185

You deserved it 2 187

By 99520 - 28/07/2011 15:25 - United States

Today, I gave my dad a brochure for anger management. His response? Throwing a chair out the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 331

You deserved it 7 432

By banj0 - 06/10/2012 22:58 - United States - Madison

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 648

You deserved it 2 196

Third degree

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 06:01

Today, my wife left her curling iron on the bed, which was dangerous enough, but I also accidentally sat on it after my shower. Now I have a burn on the bottom of my balls, which has turned into a painful blister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 92

By moduschic - 19/10/2009 01:38 - United States

Today, at work this woman came up to my counter and handed me gold top covered in gold sequins. I like to chat with the customers sometimes at work so I got all excited and said "Ooh! You shopping for Halloween?" She gave me the biggest death stare. Turns out she wasn't shopping for Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 845

You deserved it 17 451

By My mom - 18/03/2010 01:10 - France

Today, my mom walked me to school to make sure I don't cut class. I'm 20 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 940

You deserved it 12 174

Between a rock and a not-so-hard place

By Anonymous - 22/02/2021 23:01

Spicy

Today, I found out that the pills my doctor prescribed for my ED cause severe side effects and I have to stop taking them. So much for my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 102

Fantasy world

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 16:01

Spicy

Today, as I was approaching climax with the girl of my dreams, my mom walked in to ask if I had her car keys, took one look and told me I need to get out, find a real woman and stop watching porn with my headphones on, so I can hear when people are climbing the stairs to my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 1 701

By twiggygonegirl - 06/06/2017 22:00

Today, I updated my list of "quit smoking rewards" to include new clothes. New clothes to fit my new voluptuous body, because the question of how I used to stay thin has been answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 777

You deserved it 615

By Anonymous - 31/10/2015 12:36 - United States

Today, I went to a party with a friend. All I remember is passing out on the couch. About 10 minutes ago I was woken up by a bucket of cold water and thrown out by the guy who lives there. I'm still dripping and very cold, and I have no idea where the hell I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 580

You deserved it 8 386

It was a phone call

By "Cass Lyles" - 22/12/2019 20:00

Today, I was talking to my fiancé on the phone. I said "alright see you in 10 minutes babe". My boss must have thought I was talking to him because he said "alright (my name) see you later". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 760

You deserved it 268

By Weathersucks - 17/01/2010 05:13 - France

Today, I was on my way to meet the girl I like at the beach. I parked my truck and walked to the restaurant where I was supposed to meet her. She wasn't there so I called her and she told me she cancelled because it started raining. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 623

You deserved it 3 051

By notarobber - 15/05/2013 07:20 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 628

You deserved it 10 096

By dBLIZZARD - 09/06/2015 18:39 - United States

Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 934

You deserved it 3 999

By Mia - 26/01/2019 02:00

Today, I wanted to bake some chocolate chip cookies. As the first load was done, I tasted a cookie and it tasted too salty. Thinking it was because of the pinch of salt, I added more sugar to the batter, only to realize that the sugar I've put into the whole batter was actually salt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 2 325

By Anonymous - 19/05/2011 23:05 - Canada

Today, I took my 6 year old son to meet our new neighbours. When we got home he packed his bags and headed for the door. Once he reached the door, I asked where he was going. He replied, "To the neighbours'. They have a bigger television." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 558

You deserved it 4 956

By StellaSanguina - 09/10/2009 03:17 - United States

Today, a buttmunch customer brought in $7 worth of pennies I had to count and roll. As I was putting them in the deposite box at the end of my shift, I fumbled and dropped the rolls. All but one broke, spilling their contents on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 307

You deserved it 6 757

By fatto - 30/05/2017 16:00 - Sweden

Today, I got up very early to join my fit, slim, husband for a morning walk, since I work from home, order food to be delivered, and barely leave the couch. Afterwards, he biked off to work, and I went straight back to bed. With some candy. Small steps, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 628

You deserved it 2 609

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 12:33 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I was cleaning up rabbit pee from the floor when my rabbit hopped up to me. To prevent her from standing in it and spreading it throughout the room, I shooed her away. She got such a fright that she jumped in the pee and spattered it all over my clothes and face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 435

You deserved it 636

By onedollar - 24/07/2010 21:56 - Venezuela

Today, someone gave me 13 dollar bills. I rejected one because I'm very superstitious about the unlucky 13. Later, I waited half an hour in the car for someone to bring me exactly 1 dollar because I did not have enough for the parking fee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 668

You deserved it 65 548

By FMAhole - 12/02/2019 12:18 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, while at the office, a surprise Valentine's gift arrived for me, the first I've ever received. It was a box of heart-shaped cookies. From my mother. I'm 39. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 661

You deserved it 4 125

By bummer.. - 02/03/2013 06:05 - United States

Today, I found out that the man I just married doesn't want to have children. We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting married, but now he would "rather die" than have children, because according to him, they would ruin his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 460

You deserved it 5 738

By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 322

You deserved it 3 378

By duko3000 - 06/06/2010 17:36 - Canada

Today, I found out the reason I can't get a job. My previous employer didn't know my name, so when places I applied to called there for a reference, my boss said he had no recollection of me working there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 871

You deserved it 3 474

Fix up, look sharp

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 656

You deserved it 9 455

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Saturday 14 March 2015 14:04

Why would you go to a costume party if you are going to boycott the theme?

Eyalsh 32

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Saturday 14 March 2015 14:05

boyocotting by taking part, because logic. ydi.

Comments

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Saturday 14 March 2015 14:04

Why would you go to a costume party if you are going to boycott the theme?

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Saturday 14 March 2015 14:05

they are probably trying to be rebelious, or stand out in the crowd

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Saturday 14 March 2015 16:14

Maybe the other guests saw what he was trying to do and decided to completely ignore his boycott attempts by giving him compliments on his "costume"?

KenB99 15

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Saturday 14 March 2015 17:26

must be a hipster thing

swaggyswagswag 17

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Saturday 14 March 2015 17:36

That's what I thought too! :)

EverythingNerdy 13

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Saturday 14 March 2015 19:43

Sounds more like a dick thing to me.

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Saturday 14 March 2015 20:01

Because they want everyone else to know how much of a unique snowflake they are.

onlychildFTW 33

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Monday 16 March 2015 9:50

Yup for sure OP is a hipster. Damn hipsters.

Eyalsh 32

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Saturday 14 March 2015 14:05

boyocotting by taking part, because logic. ydi.

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Saturday 14 March 2015 19:24

I agree. OP is a party pooper. Why go to a party with a theme just to not participate in the theme? All it does is ruin other people's time.

slingerslasher 24

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Saturday 14 March 2015 19:44

What about the party did you find boycott-able? Was it the fact that it was 80s themed? Because that's a little odd.

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Sunday 15 March 2015 12:50

Yeah people who choose to boycott something in order to get attention and still eat all the free food are such assholes.

Steffi3 40

Saturday 14 March 2015 14:05

Looks like you need some new clothes!

xxlittlemsanime 24

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Saturday 14 March 2015 14:07

This doesn't make since. Why the hell would you not just wear a costume to the party?

EbyKat 16

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Saturday 14 March 2015 14:10

Maybe they didn't have the money for it. Maybe they are tired of 80's themed parties. That is totally legit. But "protesting" is just rude and stupid.

EbyKat 16

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Saturday 14 March 2015 14:08

Today I tried to boycott fun and it didn't work. Now I am going to cry myself to sleep because nobody let me take a dump on their joy. Seriously? YDI. I didn't take part in a family ugly Xmas sweater party because I had no money and have enough self esteem issues without making myself wear something ugly. I got party pooper presents and I deserved them. I would do it again but I sure would never FML about it.

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Saturday 14 March 2015 14:08

Well that backfired xD

assassinbanana0 20

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Saturday 14 March 2015 15:18

Thank you for that observation, Sherlock

feven 32

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Saturday 14 March 2015 15:54

Not a problem lieutenant sarcasm

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Sunday 15 March 2015 2:45

Keep digging Watson...

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Saturday 14 March 2015 14:13

Stupid stupid stupid

booze_n_bitches 35

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Saturday 14 March 2015 14:15

Scrooge! And also time to update your wardrobe....

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Saturday 14 March 2015 14:16

Yoda-style much you have young one

Cozy_Blanket 16

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Saturday 14 March 2015 14:19

I like your style op. Boycott a party by going to it!

Nearly

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 4

Today, I realized the cute girl with a nice ass, long hair and a great personality I've been talking to is actually a very gay dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 51

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I was diagnosed with a meat allergy. You can imagine the jokes my boyfriend has been thinking up since we found out I can’t "handle his meat" in my mouth anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 41

Today, a guy drove an hour and a half to get to where I live, only to literally last less than 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 102