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it's not a full time job. It's my 2nd job. I'm also in school. I'm not working all 5 nights with him, just 2 including the last, but it's still going to be extreme an extreme over load of work.

By bxilee - 28/02/2016 02:48 - United States - Corona

Today, I found out that my parents got married on their second date because they were mildly intoxicated, bored and wanted something to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 103

You deserved it 1 655

bxilee tells us more.

bxilee 16

Sunday 28 February 2016 20:06

I should've included this somewhere in the FML, but my parents ended up getting a divorce when I was about 4 because the relationship was very unhealthy and my father had a lot going on at the time.

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 07:54 - United States

Today, I found out that if I try to resist a 70 pound bulldog that's humping my leg, I will end up with stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 254

You deserved it 3 258

By ugh - 15/01/2016 16:08 - United States

Today, I told one of my teachers I have to attend a family member's funeral on a day she's passing a test. She straight up asked if I could reschedule it, and if not if I could just give it a miss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 365

You deserved it 1 450

Dad jokes

By thefuck - 30/06/2013 22:08 - Ireland - Ballyjamesduff

Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 959

You deserved it 3 677

By Anonymous - 28/06/2012 12:08 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my mother met my boyfriend. She thought it would be appropriate to tell him that he looks just like my ex-husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 161

You deserved it 2 809

By Cow_girl_cutie - 03/08/2011 07:47 - United States

Today, I was texting my boyfriend. He continued to tell me how he had to piss. We carried on this conversation for about 10 minutes, then I realized that was the most interesting conversation I have had with him in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 370

You deserved it 6 256

By Username - 03/10/2010 00:12 - France

Today, my boyfriend wanted to prove how honest he is so he showed me numerous texts in his phone where he told other women he was in a relationship before asking them to sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 637

You deserved it 3 366

By Anonymous - 29/06/2014 22:28 - United States

Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 181

You deserved it 4 750

By A07 - 09/09/2015 18:48 - Pakistan - Karachi

Today, I finally finished restoring a car after working on it for 6 months, so I took it out for a drive. On the way back, I stopped at a red light, but the drunk driver behind me didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 757

You deserved it 1 426

A07 tells us more.

A07 48

Thursday 10 September 2015 6:31

Hey guys, I'm the OP. It was 67 mustang fastback and I was driving it home from the workshop late at night. And to all those wondering, no the car didn't survive because the asshole was driving a truck, it's sitting in a garage but I don't even know if I'm going to go look at it for a while now.

By catwoman - 31/10/2009 04:34 - Australia

Today, I learned why my bathroom has a horrible, seemingly irremovable stench. My cat doesn't squat to pee like a normal cat. She stands up, peeing over the side of the litter tray all over the wall and floor, which are now a permanent yellow tinge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 164

You deserved it 5 483

By steppppphhhhhh - 09/04/2013 08:18 - United States - Pacifica

Today, I got called an "evil Nazi bitch" because I let a customer know that this is the last day our store will have free plastic bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 863

You deserved it 3 500

Monster Munch

By Stupid_Chick - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I found out that my family hides food from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 622

You deserved it 19 559

Don't mind me

By evelynn - 20/05/2010 06:25 - France

Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 183

You deserved it 8 192

By Hairy_Potter - 23/01/2014 17:13 - Brazil - S?o Paulo

Today, I had to accept the fact that I'm going bald, after I noticed the hair on my chest is longer than the hair on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 521

You deserved it 3 935

Handful

By Abeille - 17/03/2011 00:50 - Canada

Today, I thought I'd take my little sister to the park. After getting bored of playing on the climbers, she thought it would be funny to throw some mud at me; too bad mud wasn’t the only chunky brown stuff on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 002

You deserved it 3 953

By Anonymous - 26/03/2015 10:16

Today, after days of looking for it, I finally found the ring my boyfriend gave to me. It was on my roommate's finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 681

You deserved it 2 742

Look Rufus…

By jumbledgirl - 10/01/2012 05:25 - United States

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 464

You deserved it 2 490

By longtrip - 18/01/2010 00:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I drove 4 hours to see my girlfriend of a year, as she had asked me to stay with her for a few days. When I arrived she told me she wanted to be friends as she liked someone else, but wanted me to stay the few days so we could work on being friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 143

You deserved it 2 425

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 02:16 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, my now ex-boyfriend accused me of wanting to screw his 11-year-old brother, all because I expressed interest in going to his birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 166

You deserved it 1 654

By anonymous - 02/11/2014 04:51 - United States - Vacaville

Today, my boyfriend was giving me a back massage while I was laying on my stomach. A few minutes into it, he stopped. I turned around to see why; he was taking a picture of my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 191

You deserved it 7 666

By mskawaiibat - 29/06/2013 10:01 - United States - Laguna Hills

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 788

You deserved it 3 421

By Chefinblack - 19/10/2015 22:13 - Australia

Today, at my prestigious sous chef job, I was preparing to plate up expensive entrees for a function of 150 people. After arriving to work 2 hours early to finalize finishing touches, they call the restaurant 5 minutes before their booking stating, 'We can't be bothered anymore, sorry.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 039

You deserved it 1 542

By JACKxRAWR - 18/05/2013 09:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 718

You deserved it 3 955

JACKxRAWR tells us more.

JACKxRAWR 22

Saturday 18 May 2013 17:22

OP here. The bastard didn't even knock and left the package in a post office the other side of town, even though I live five minutes from a sorting office.