By kyle - 05/06/2011 07:00 - United States
The Top
By tired individual - 12/01/2014 11:04 - United States - Dickson
By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 07:52 - United States - Bend
By Anonymous - 27/12/2012 22:54 - Australia
By Anonymous - 12/12/2013 21:53 - New Zealand - Napier
By Miko - 01/02/2009 16:45 - United States
You swam into that one
By ugh.. - 09/08/2009 15:27 - United States
By lilipalmer - 13/02/2015 06:44 - France
By inosehowthatgotthere - 10/02/2011 01:12 - United States
By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 21:29 - Canada - Oshawa
By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 13:46 - United States
Big kid
By Anonymous - 08/09/2012 14:20 - United States - Rhodes
Scary
By Anonymous - 22/08/2012 20:08 - United States
Drama!
By RUFckingSrs - 22/12/2015 02:42 - United States - San Francisco
By 1039583 - 03/10/2014 14:43 - United States - Salt Lake City
1039583 tells us more.
Prissy
By barfyshirt - 06/12/2009 05:25 - United States
By Anonymous - 14/06/2013 16:24 - Cyprus - Limassol
Debate time
By look at the fucking universe, lady - 18/05/2013 18:44 - United States - Montgomery
By Anonymous - 18/04/2009 06:53 - United States
By pistonsunshine - 10/10/2009 18:06 - United States
Reasons to be cheerful, pt. 4
By amf - 03/06/2011 03:08 - United States
By Unemployed - 02/06/2011 04:40 - United States
Stop!
By hobbled - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 05/06/2015 01:07 - United States - Elkhart
By Attacksloth - 23/04/2015 22:45 - Canada - Sudbury
Attacksloth tells us more.
OP here. I was at a university, so like all schools, sex is fairly common here. I actually don't know if the contents were... legit sperm, but it seemed like they had the correct colour and, regrettably, consistency, judging by the shit left on my leg. It didn't look like pudding or mayonnaise or anything edible. Right now I'm just talking myself into a sense of security by telling myself that nobody in their right mind would actually be that disgusting. The second one missed me, because I saw them chucking it, so I ducked out of the way. Luckily I had extra pants from the gym so I just changed into those, and I refused to touch the condoms until a janitor came in with some heavy duty gloves. I don't think it was an act of revenge, because I haven't really talked to people much this year - I'm either with my wife, exercising alone, or researching alone. The boy who threw them was with a girl and they were both laughing. I memorized their faces, so if I see them on campus, they can receive some "polite Canadian justice".
By Anonymous - 01/12/2013 21:43 - United States - Wailuku
By Greg - 28/10/2013 21:53 - United States - Livonia
Just a prank, bro
By unlucky dudebag - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 24/10/2012 10:51 - Australia - Croydon
By reject - 21/01/2011 23:02 - United Kingdom
Keywords
He owns the business or I would have already!! I know this because I only started closing this late after he found out I have a boyfriend.