Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me.... - FML

By Sara246 - 19/8/2010 23:11 - Canada

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, he asked which girl I'd found out about. FML

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Whatthefuckaburger

Higher standards

Mixed signals

By Angela - 27/2/2011 01:56 - United States

Today, I made plans with an old friend that I haven't seen in years. We agreed to meet at a diner and I told him I'd be standing outside. I watched him pull up, look right at me, then do something with his phone. Seconds later, I got a text saying "Sorry, but I'm busy today and can't make it." FML

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By - 18/1/2017 10:00

Today, I shaved my lady bits for the first time to surprise my husband, whom I haven't seen in months due to deployment. I ended up with razor burn and my dim-witted husband believes I cheated on him and that it's an STD. Nothing will tell him otherwise. FML

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By Inthedumps - 23/7/2014 00:51 - United States - Jerseyville

Today, my boss is still refusing to hire any more people because he's convinced I can handle all of the work after the majority of staff quit. FML

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By xerrika - 3/6/2014 11:56 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I finally finished a drawing that someone had asked and said they would pay me for. I worked on it for multiple hours and was very proud of it. When it came to discussing payment, I asked what his best offer was. A pack of cigarettes. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/3/2018 15:00

Today, after three weeks in the hospital for a lung infection, I was released. On the way home, another car ran a red light and T-boned my car. Back to the hospital I go. FML

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By Leenotgay - 25/9/2011 04:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's totally convinced I'm gay. When I tried explaining that I can't be if I'm attracted to her, she took it as me thinking she's mannish. FML

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By macattack - 2/9/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

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By RheaDitto - 18/6/2019 01:08

Today, after sending and receiving hundreds of hints, I mustered up the courage to ask my best friend out. He completely ignored my words, and went on to tell me all about his mother's intestinal bug. FML

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By nice one - 14/7/2013 17:51 - United States - Athens

Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML

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By SadMother - 4/10/2014 19:52 - United States - South Windsor

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/2/2014 16:52 - United Kingdom - Tipton

Today, my mom told me all about how I was conceived in a Disney Land toilet. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/1/2012 00:59 - United States

Today, my mother called me a "wasteful child" because I threw up my lunch. FML

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By onlyslightly - 30/11/2012 08:33 - United States

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

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By anonymous - 18/3/2013 09:17 - United States - Torrance

Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML

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By fiery - 24/7/2010 00:06 - United States

Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML

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By Champignon - 1/11/2013 14:17 - Belgium - Brasschaat

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/1/2016 10:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had to give a joint presentation at college. My partner was so high, she couldn't even pronounce her own name properly in her introduction. I'm pretty sure her antics are going to get us both failed hard. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/3/2016 14:52 - United States - Dallas

Today, I made the decision to lighten my hair from dark brown to blonde. I thought the stylist knew what she was doing, but I ended up with my hair fried off and orange. FML

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By Shopper - 23/5/2012 22:50 - United States

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

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By Lespoon - 25/2/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, my mom drove my family to the desert for a themed family photo. We had to wear big frumpy old western-looking clothes in 115 degree weather. Hot and agitated, I muttered, "This is the ugliest thing I've ever had to wear." My mom, looking hurt, replied, "That's my wedding dress." FML

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By Mariah Heimann - 15/12/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, after getting rear ended by a car, I texted my husband to let him know I was in the hospital. His response? "I'm at Taco Bell." FML

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By Anonymous - 29/5/2015 14:23 - United States - Bradenton

Today, my father told me that my mental health issues, which have been confirmed by multiple doctors and tests, are all caused by the fact that I'm slightly overweight and don't exercise a lot. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/6/2012 13:11 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML

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By Anonymous - 8/1/2012 06:23 - United States

Today, my fiancé called and hung up right after I answered. He called back 5 minutes later demanding to know the name of the man who answered my phone. This "man" was me. I have bronchitis. Yes, he's aware of this. FML

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By seriously? - 27/5/2014 22:23 - United States - Manassas

Today, I discovered that my dad still doesn't consider my career as an app developer a "real job". FML

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By CheesyCasey - 30/5/2013 00:51 - United States - Detroit

Today, my workplace was issued aprons. I then became the first and only employee in the history of the business to set an apron on fire while using the grill. FML

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By jalisc512 - 21/8/2014 20:16 - United States - Aurora

Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML

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By ohseven6421 - 3/9/2010 04:13 - United States

Today, I decided to drive my mothers Bentley. She is out of town and told me not to go near the car. Being 17, I didn't listen. As I was backing out the driveway, I was hit by an SUV, seriously damaging my moms car. Who was driving the SUV? My mom, coming home early. FML

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By Tise81 - 22/6/2019 14:00 - Netherlands - Drachten

Today, my 18-year-old son got his first tattoo. I would have loved it, if it wasn't a text on his hand with a glaring spelling mistake in it. FML

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By xoccerplaya - 6/10/2011 10:46 - United States

Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/12/2011 16:47 - Netherlands

Today, my little girl spoke her first word. It was ''Daddy''. Daddy left before she was born and she has never met him before. FML

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By wtf3456 - 31/8/2011 09:16 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me because I didn't know what her favorite ice cream was. She says it proves I don't care enough about her. I don't think I've ever seen her eat ice cream. FML

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By fleur_de_fevrier - 21/12/2008 15:36 - Ireland

Today, I finally decided to go Christmas shopping. It's only once I arrived that I realized that I had forgotten my wallet. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 16:00

Mess incoming

Today, my apartment management notified me that my water was going to be shut off all day so they could fix the plumbing. I took a laxative last night. FML

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By raven_of_azarath - 19/6/2019 12:23

Today, I found out my 15-year-old cat is having gas problems when she farted in my face. My mouth was open. FML

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By truecountrybitch - 9/5/2020 23:00

Anger management

Today, my boyfriend got frustrated trying to take my entertainment center into the basement, for the kids' game room. It didn't fit, thanks to the horrible design of the house, so he Spartan-kicked it down, breaking it into 15 pieces. FML

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By Mojo0608 - 2/11/2014 21:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my 16-year-old brother once again scored well at a local archery competition. He got home and, once again, unleashed his "spectacular aim" at the toilet - or rather the toilet seat and surrounding floor. He refuses to clean the bathroom we share every single time he does this. FML

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By Rockyio - 30/9/2009 17:45 - Canada

Today, it's my birthday. My best friend called me at work and offered to take me out to lunch. When he went to pay for the meal, his card was declined so I told him not to worry and that I would pay for the birthday meal. He looked at me and said "It's your birthday?" He was serious. FML

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By tnh - 17/11/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, just like every other day, I was woken up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be, by the alarm belonging to my upstairs neighbors. They won't wake up until their real alarm goes off: me, pounding the walls and yelling in frustration. FML

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By Warriorwizzle - 15/12/2018 04:00 - Vietnam - Hanoi

Today I had to move down to the 3rd floor because after complaining about rats on my rooftop the landlord put down traps. Rats died. Flies came. The flies laid eggs. The eggs birthed maggots. The maggots rained down from my broken ceiling into my bed and all over my floor. I am not okay. FML

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Top comments

By sbu_002 | 0

#1274649 - Friday 20 August 2010 9:16

rip his dick off and throw it in the river

By Shadow_Phantom | 26

#1274638 - Friday 20 August 2010 9:15

Adding insult to injury... FYL.

COMMENTS

By Shadow_Phantom | 26

#1274638 - Friday 20 August 2010 9:15

Adding insult to injury... FYL.

By yasmeenjonasx3 | 0

#1274644 - Friday 20 August 2010 9:15

haha that blows like all those other girls did

By TotalStar | 0

#1274647 - Friday 20 August 2010 9:16

well, did you answer his question atleast?

By sbu_002 | 0

#1274649 - Friday 20 August 2010 9:16

rip his dick off and throw it in the river

Reply

justin1104lee | 0

#1274812 - Friday 20 August 2010 10:15

agreed;) do it girl!

Reply

Ghouly_fml | 7

#4121376 - Sunday 4 March 2012 22:08

Hmmm
Overkill?
Maybe?
Yes?
No?
*Sigh* I'll just go sit back in the corner

By schwancy | 2

#1274655 - Friday 20 August 2010 9:17

Awkward...

Reply

EvilCupcake8361 | 9

#3222054 - Friday 2 September 2011 10:16

your tattoos are beautiful! :D

By LASuxs | 0

#1274657 - Friday 20 August 2010 9:18

If you dont wanna be cheated on then go wit a guy who doesnt have the option to

Reply

ucofresh | 4

#1275301 - Friday 20 August 2010 14:22

LAS, why even type something so blatantly ignorant? Sheesh... people and their lack of a life on fml.

Reply

lovemysnubber | 0

#1276031 - Friday 20 August 2010 17:42

la does suck btw :) stupid traffic stupid people stupid smog stupid damn prices....

Reply

bbyychula710 | 0

#1276170 - Friday 20 August 2010 18:52

lol this means date the uqlyy one !

Reply

LASuxs | 0

#1277636 - Saturday 21 August 2010 0:00

Its not ignorant, actually common sense. If somebody can do better they will. Calling things ignorant because they don't sound nice, may not be ignorant but talkin out of your ass

Reply

threer | 30

#5733404 - Tuesday 29 October 2013 0:56

If you can do better, actually dump your partner rather than being a fucking bitch about it and cheating.

By wrinklynutsack | 0

#1274666 - Friday 20 August 2010 9:20

farting vaginas

By yellowdaisy92 | 0

#1274672 - Friday 20 August 2010 9:22

kick his ass

By ladyganja92 | 0

#1274674 - Friday 20 August 2010 9:22

thats horrible. i hope you dumped him OP

By mjoep1996 | 4

#1274677 - Friday 20 August 2010 9:23

I hate it when people put some stupid random comment like farting vaginas. Stop being so damn rude people.