Miscellaneous: Today, when taking a group picture with my closest friends, a...

By reject - 21/01/2011 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, when taking a group picture with my closest friends, a passing parent congratulated us on getting into the same university for next year. She's wrong. They're all going to Cambridge, except for me. I was rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 989

You deserved it 5 908

Miscellaneous

Dementia or hate? You decide

Good kid

Fundies say the darndest things

By roflcopter - 19/08/2010 00:53 - United States

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 148

You deserved it 31 459

Nature is healing

By Anonymous - 03/08/2021 18:01 - Germany

Today, I ended up in the hospital by accidentally eating poisonous berries, from a plant that I've known since childhood to be poisonous, which I also recognized as belonging to the nightshade family. I still don’t understand what made them look tasty. Brain fart of the century, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 1 042

By Anonymous - 08/06/2015 14:11 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 924

You deserved it 2 210

By Anonymous - 01/05/2013 21:48 - United States

Today, my co-worker and I played a game where we give each other the bird in whatever creative manner we could come up with. Deciding to be sneaky, I hid behind a wall with my middle finger up as I heard him walking into the office. It was my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 146

You deserved it 40 781

By Anonymous - 09/11/2013 22:30 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I heard my dad complaining that he won't be able to go to a concert, because it's happening on my birthday. This is the first time he's even acknowledged my birthday in over ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 707

You deserved it 3 296

By loser - 17/02/2009 23:33 - United States

Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 954

You deserved it 52 064

By Lmop68 - 27/05/2009 05:27 - Canada

Today, I saw my crush waving me over from the other end of the parking lot. I ran quickly to greet him, but in my excitement didn't take note of the giant Hummer backing out. I broke two ribs and all my crush was trying to do was warn me of the moving vehicle I was about to run into. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 979

You deserved it 17 306

It's all about that D

By MK. - 21/04/2021 02:00

Today, at the age of 22, I found out that Wednesday has another D in it. Literally no one ever corrected me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 780

By Anonymous - 25/11/2013 19:47 - United States - Olive Branch

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 889

You deserved it 13 813

By isabellam0426 - 02/11/2016 02:55

Today, while teaching my history class, a girl asked me where North America was. She lives in North America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 560

You deserved it 680

By anon - 17/12/2015 18:45

Today, I had to explain to someone in my class who Gandhi really was and that he was not a fictional goblin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 582

You deserved it 1 630

By sweetie808 - 28/01/2016 08:39 - United States - Kailua Kona

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 666

You deserved it 1 775

By Silbax1 - 27/10/2014 15:40 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, I overheard my co-workers talking about how they don't need flu shots because everyone else gets them. These people are in the medical industry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 440

You deserved it 3 470

By Anonymous - 06/05/2014 22:47 - United States - Sparks

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 351

You deserved it 3 819

No feeling - Just conversation

By Anonymous - 22/11/2019 18:00

Today, I was touching myself under the sheets at 2:00 a.m. when my very drunk dad walked into the room. I was afraid to move my hand for fear of getting caught red-handed, so I had a 30 minute conversation with him with my fingers still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 204

You deserved it 851

By cassidy_smith12 - 24/08/2013 14:55 - United States - Medina

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 430

You deserved it 3 552

By Kelly - 02/08/2012 08:11 - United States - Manteca

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 107

You deserved it 3 153

Weird flex, but OK

By mrwilly - 02/01/2015 03:22 - United States - Corona

Today, as usual, my boyfriend referred to his penis in the third person as "Mr. Willy". Even during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 791

You deserved it 4 872

By Anonymous - 13/01/2016 23:03 - United States - Alexandria

Today, my fiancé's mother gave me a beautiful cross necklace to wear for my wedding. I'm Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 112

You deserved it 2 487

By Weddingbelles - 12/09/2016 15:52 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, at the end of my 10-hour shift, my manager made me count exactly how many business cards were left in inventory before I could leave. She didn't believe me when the number came to exactly 3000. She made me count them all again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 199

You deserved it 769

By Cheated - 03/08/2010 04:07 - Canada

Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 205

You deserved it 4 538

By jacked - 02/10/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, I was taking a group shot with my friends when I asked a stranger to take the picture for us. He backed up and told us to squish closer together, and when he was at least 20 feet away, he turned and ran off with my camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 113

You deserved it 18 464

By oops - 27/03/2014 23:10 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 064

You deserved it 7 103

By singingintherain - 01/07/2017 20:00

Today, ever since my boyfriend has seen A Clockwork Orange, he always suggests that we have sex by asking, "How about a little of the good old in-out-in-out?" and refers to his genitals as, "Yarbles". He seriously doesn't understand why this turns me off every time and our sex life has sunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 855

You deserved it 679

Mixing it up

By Kayleigh - 16/03/2021 21:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me with his dad's ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 76

By Anonymous - 21/06/2013 04:44 - United States - Vancouver

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 063

You deserved it 9 022

By Xandriajoy10 - 08/03/2016 11:56 - Australia

Today, a fly flew into my ear canal and got stuck. It was the most horrifying 2 minutes of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 557

You deserved it 1 558

By Plasticface - 14/05/2011 13:32 - United States

Today, I found there was a 4 year old boy behind me on my flight. When I looked at him, he screamed playfully and hid. I decided to play tiger with him. While I was grinning like a tiger and trying to scratch him, he smashed a water bottle across my face. I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 071

You deserved it 37 733

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 17:50 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 392

You deserved it 3 579

By Anonymous - 19/03/2018 15:00

Today, my boss yelled at me in front of several customers for gesturing too much while I talk, because it's "unprofessional". I was using sign language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 426

You deserved it 204

Classy

By 1234 - 11/07/2009 16:41 - Canada

Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 478

You deserved it 10 405

Protip

By Anonymous - 13/04/2015 01:56 - United States

Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 871

You deserved it 4 414

Live from Salt Lake City

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 20:02

Today, I’m in a polyamorous relationship with my husband and another woman. She has anger issues and has been very abusive to me, and finally told my husband she wants to break up with me. Not him... just me. She’s still sleeping in our bed with him, and I’m sleeping on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 471

You deserved it 2 564

Experts, schmexperts

By Kitkat - 02/05/2020 14:00

Today, my mom took medical advice from her friend over mine. Her friend sells cheese and I'm a pharmacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 105

By m2k - 20/06/2011 14:59 - Canada

Today, the only person I actually spoke with was a prank caller. I tried to have a conversation with him, but he hung up on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 404

You deserved it 7 906

By StinkyandStupid - 15/03/2012 17:49 - United States

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 637

You deserved it 38 028

By why - 05/04/2011 15:25 - United States

Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 654

You deserved it 6 581

By Anonymous - 23/03/2013 00:34 - United States

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 236

You deserved it 6 821

By burn - 01/08/2011 20:05 - United States

Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 902

You deserved it 3 475

By Therunawaymoh - 11/10/2018 12:00

Today, my maid of honor and best friend of 10 years won't answer my texts and blocked me on social media. This is because last night she and my fiancé got into a huge drunken fight about who loved me more and she stormed off. I get married in 5 hours and I have no idea where she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 468

You deserved it 315

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Top comments

perdix 29

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:42

It's no disgrace to be rejected from Cambridge, that is, if you are talking about the world-class university. If you are talking about the Cambridge School of Dental Floss Recycling, then, yeah, FYL you are an idiot.

Doortje 29

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:21

That sucks. But it's also an opportunity to make new friends. And if you really want to you can keep in touch with your current friends. It'll take some effort, but it's possible. As for Cambridge; I don't know why you got rejected, but if your grades weren't good enough then well.. it's not for everybody.

rd_404 0

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:16

Sucks to be you OP

fizzysmilesalot 0

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:41

i know!!! thats horrible ):

I_iz_B_a_troll 23

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Saturday 22 January 2011 2:18

Well at least you have friends! for now...

Acousticpixie14 6

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Saturday 22 January 2011 5:22

Sucks to be OP sure, but it's all OP's fault. Maybe he should have worked a little harder in school to get accepted.

MagneticGuitar 0

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Sunday 23 January 2011 4:32

Yes, because it takes a little hard work to get accepted at Cambridge..

rachelndrws180 4

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Tuesday 1 January 2013 3:18

That's a harsh accusation to make, OP may have tried really hard to get through because Cambridge is a very hard university to get into.

justnbieber 0

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:17

i hate that; being left out :( sorry OP

zinoxity 23

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Saturday 22 January 2011 2:53

Ew Justina.

justnbieber 0

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Saturday 22 January 2011 2:57

ew fuck off

Snickahs 0

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Saturday 22 January 2011 3:02

ew chains

talktomandybaby 8

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Saturday 22 January 2011 3:36

and thats not miley cyrus..its katy perry!!

Withired_Away 0

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Saturday 22 January 2011 4:23

^ and that's not a guy

Acousticpixie14 6

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Saturday 22 January 2011 5:24

Wow leave the poor girl alone. So she has a different taste in music than you, so what?

The_Dude_Abides_ 0

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Saturday 22 January 2011 7:14

sorry 47 but your wrong too it's not Katy perry, her name is Jayma Mays, she's been in such things as Paul Blart, Heros and a few other things

srhshl 9

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Saturday 22 January 2011 7:40

Nope. Definitely Perry. Looks like a still from her video for Firework. Plus, the eyes aren't buggy enough to be Jayma's.

akd1v 0

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Saturday 22 January 2011 15:19

agree with 53

lamarswilley 0

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:18

hahaha

PeteyPablo12308 20

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:19

Well that's definitely not a confidence booster. I'm sorry OP

ilovepandaz 2

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:21

rejection!!!

Doortje 29

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:21

TheDrifter 23

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Saturday 22 January 2011 4:32

Or the student loan officer laughed themselves sick when they saw what op needed to borrow for tuition.

JManHobbs 0

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Saturday 22 January 2011 8:43

Except if she's been rejected already it means she applied this cycle (2011-2012), in which the higher fees don't apply. Bad luck OP, Oxford is better anyway...

WhoaIsMeImSoWhoa 1

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:22

Welcome to the real world buddy.

dannoman 0

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:22

If we all got to be astronauts and scientists there would be no one to sell us taco bell on the way home!

tdubb6 0

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:32

what does OP stand for?

heyygurl 0

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:34

idk

Keyman1212 14

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:43

Occipital Pussy.

Doortje 29

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:47

Step 1: Put your exact question in quotation marks. - Side note: Quotation marks are these things: "" Step 2: Go to google.com Step 3: Put the question in the search bar Step 4: Hit the 'Google search' button Step 5: Click on the third link Step 6: Please kill yourself

KVKdragon 26

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:49

idk why everyone's being a jerk about this. OP means original poster.

alwa7sh 2

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:49

Outstanding PIMP

Doortje 29

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:52

Everyone is a jerk about this because google will give you the answer in less than 5 seconds. Which means that everyone who asks that question is just a lazy fuck.

alwa7sh 2

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Saturday 22 January 2011 1:58

Doortje, I love the way you think

spanelli 16

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Saturday 22 January 2011 4:08

27- Unless their computer is really slow. In which case, it would still be easier to Google it. Just saying... I still prefer OP to stand for Optimus Prime. :)

Acousticpixie14 6

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Saturday 22 January 2011 5:28

No to mention how easy it is to figure out on your own. Read the context of the statements that contain "OP," "YDI," or "FYL" and it's pretty simple to determine what they mean. I certainly never had to ask anyone or Google anything. Even if you can't figure out EXACTLY what it means, you should be able to get the jist of it fairly easy

JManHobbs 0

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Saturday 22 January 2011 8:44

You never had to Google anything? Are you a wizard?

fthku 13

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Saturday 22 January 2011 13:39

Oh yeah, it's a well known fact that if you wanted to know anything before Google was made, you had to be a wizard. Sarcasm aside, I'm sure that's not what she meant.