By jakeeey - 18/01/2013 01:16 - Canada - Brampton

Spicy
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 182
You deserved it 10 920

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Schizomaniac 24

Yeah, I always make girls pass a literacy test before I sleep with them. "I'm gonna rock your world after you identify the adverbs and correctly place commas in this sentence."

Go to a bar, roofie up some drinks. If that doesn't work, prison is full of willing people.

Comments

xblair 11

You're down voting this guy, but what he says, is likely true. If Op got out there a bit more, instead if staying at home moping while watching ****, then he might actually get laid. Of course, he might already be doing this, but thus far has just been unlucky; in this case, I wish you the best of luck in your endeavours! :)

wlddog 14

Not sure if "getting laid" will fix depression. However it is worth finding out. Also, just exercise of some sort will help and sunlight help too.

I go out plenty, but im in engineering school so I cant get laid either. some places the odds are just stacked against you.

xblair 11

21- people misunderstood what i'm trying to point out but thank you for ellaborating it more. Btw i'm a girl. Haha :)

I have not got laid in over two years. Welcome to saudi arabia

AbstraktThoughts 13

It's probably because of your grammar.

Schizomaniac 24

Yeah, I always make girls pass a literacy test before I sleep with them. "I'm gonna rock your world after you identify the adverbs and correctly place commas in this sentence."

Sir_ND_Pity 35

Hey, some people are turned on by those, 11. Go back a several FMLs and you'll see ;)

yoursucklives 36

come on, if he's really from saudi arabia you can't expect his grammar to be perfect.

JennaBeez 5

i lovl 2 lyyk rt **** it yummy i luv i t amkae me hapy! :)

kut17 11
JennaBeez 5

me 2 it so cool im lik haha wana dat??

you do realize that people don't speak English everywhere in the world right?

being from India this kind of ridiculous ignorance really gets to me. I'd like to see you speaking perfect Hindi.

JennaBeez 5

10 would probably like it to read as been laid instead of got laid.

The proper way to phrase that sentence would be "I have not gotten laid," not got. The use of "have" dictates that a past participle is required in that statement, not past tense. However, I'm guessing this guy is a foreign speaker of English, so to have deliberately pointed out this trivial mistake is just pretty asinine. Petty, even.

If **** stars can get laid, so can you. Keep your chin up. Er, chins up.

#46 "gotten" is almost only used in American English.

Dammit, I accidentally clicked reply on that last comment.

AbstraktThoughts 13

I guess my sarcasm wasn't picked up? In any case, it should actually be, "I haven't been laid in..."

You sir, watch too much ****. That's the issue! Girlfriends are great for those problems btw!

Because girlfriends are just for sex.

No, ofcourse not.. But wanking it all day ain't gonna do the guy no justice either.. Depressed or not

They are also good at ironing, cooking, cleaning, and expressing displeasure after reading this sentence.

Don't forget banning you for basically that exact joke. ( curse you whatever feminazi who doesn't understand what ;) Jk means)

wlddog 14

You think making his own **** would be better? And what store were you purchased from?

#61 - It's well known that using **** frequently can hinder sex lives and create a 'fear' (as such) of a real, face-to-face relationship. The way to stop this is to quit ****, like #75 pointed out. I'm not saying this happens with everyone but it's becoming more of a problem.

bendovver 6

You know alot about this, and it seem like you have a secret!!

Go to a bar, roofie up some drinks. If that doesn't work, prison is full of willing people.

kut17 11

What you've got here is a win-win situation. Well...except for the roofie girl.

"If it wasn't for date rape I'd never get laid"

Go out and try it then? Nothing will happen if you sit on your ass. Stop complaining if you don't try to meet people. And if you're trying, then think about what you're doing wrong.

That's why I don't watch ****. But welcome to the not getting laid club

Sir_ND_Pity 35

I bet your right hand feels offended by your statement. It considers it a good time :3

SmallBean 12

But I bet you'll try again in an hour or so. **** can be a vicious cycle.