The Top

The gas bill includes another security deposit of 150$ and a turn on fee of 50$. So, it was 300$ that I was past due on and I was doing the budget plan which was about 150$ a month. Only 2 months behind. As for the roommate, it's not her fault she lost her job due to down sizing and she is has been getting money from her parents... we've just used it for food. It's not a matter of whether or not I "deserve" to have my gas shut off. I do. I didn't pay the bill. I agree with that. The FML part of it is that my day was crap and then it got even crappier. Stop preaching and just read the stupid FML so you can say "Hey, at least I'm not that poor bastard." Get over yourselves.

Unbelievable

By snoozer - 23/03/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, I received two withdrawal grades in school for dropping the classes due to a kidney infection that kept me in the hospital. I wrote a petition to the dean asking to remove the grades. He replied to send a doctor's note. I did so, and he then said that I was faking and the note was forged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 245

You deserved it 4 701

I just work here

By don't get paid enough for this - 11/07/2015 02:20 - United States - Youngstown

Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 442

You deserved it 2 189

Judge Judy

By LuvShawn - 27/02/2009 18:39 - United States

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 435

You deserved it 67 578

Parkour

By burnswhenipee - 08/04/2015 00:47 - Canada - London

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 226

You deserved it 5 555

Hangry

By nd.11 - 01/03/2010 16:59 - Canada

Today, I was on a city bus, and there was a woman and her child sitting behind me. I began to feel tugging on my jacket so I leaned forward, assuming the child was pulling on it. I sat back and felt the tugging again. After a couple of minutes, I heard the mother say, "Stop chewing on that!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 713

You deserved it 2 815

Sorry, son

By Waffle - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, a little boy called me, crying that "Grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say, "Wrong number." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 134

You deserved it 4 776

By wife - 22/02/2015 03:47 - United States - Oceanside

Today, my husband lost his keys again. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 390

You deserved it 8 712

By maybe? - 11/02/2015 16:11 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 587

You deserved it 4 013

By blackntangirl - 18/07/2009 23:31 - United States

Today, I woke up when the guy I had spent the night with slid out of bed. When he realized I was awake, he looked down at me, shook his head, and said "I've gotta lay off the beer..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 471

You deserved it 14 025

Checked out

By Anonymous - 31/10/2012 03:02 - United States - El Cajon

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 005

You deserved it 10 654

Now jog on

By verrine - 19/06/2009 08:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I was mugged on my way to the bus stop. With no money or mobile, I started to panic about the exam I had, and ran the 3.5 miles to get to there. When I staggered up to the building only 20 minutes after the exam started, the university staff wouldn't let me sit it as I couldn't prove my identity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 987

You deserved it 3 014

Sir! Sir!

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 394

You deserved it 3 541

By mightymart - 24/07/2012 10:26 - Canada - Montreal

Today, my landlord decided to have people visit my apartment since I'm moving out next month. She had warned me about potential visitors this week but didn't specify when. I work the graveyard shift and apparently the fact that I was sleeping in my room during the visit didn't bother her at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 505

You deserved it 1 902

mightymart tells us more.

mightymart 5

Wednesday 25 July 2012 1:15

I would have stayed awake if she would have called before, not like it happens often

Trial run

By Perdito_Coño - 05/09/2014 20:55 - Australia - Quakers Hill

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 810

You deserved it 7 630

By poisonivyretard - 04/06/2013 17:15 - United States - Narragansett

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 565

You deserved it 52 024

By Fatty Fatty Fatso - 05/05/2013 00:41 - United States - Somers

Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 650

You deserved it 39 122

By Gustav Fjorder - 04/07/2011 07:27 - Switzerland

Today, for breakfast, there were scrambled eggs, boiled eggs, bacon, sausages, fresh bread, croissants, brownies, donuts, fruit smoothie, coffee, tea and orange juice. Too bad no one bothered wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 909

You deserved it 10 351

By anonamous - 12/03/2012 21:45 - United States

Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 176

You deserved it 9 143

Lookin' good

By scruffy - 10/05/2011 17:24 - United States

Today, I woke up late for a job interview. I hadn't shaved in six days, but figuring I could do so en route, I grabbed my electric razor and ran for the bus. While shaving, the razor's battery died midway through, leaving me to attend the job interview with a Miami Vice scruff on half my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 048

You deserved it 38 166

By Cody - 30/04/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I got pulled by a cop because I forgot to put my registration sticker on. I get nervous around authority and have nervous shakes. I ripped the registration sticker 3 times trying to put it on. The cop then gave me a ticket for "Improper Equipment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 747

You deserved it 7 060

Classic

By anonymous - 07/04/2010 04:21 - United States

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend of 3 years in his living room when a girl barges in, sees us, and screams, "I knew it!" then rushes out. My boyfriend gets up, grabs his pants, and, while chasing after her, yells, "Baby, she's nothing, you know I only love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 554

You deserved it 7 321

Don't get it

By Anonymous - 09/05/2015 19:17 - United States - Bristol

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding at the last moment, because her neurotic sister thinks she's "too fat" to be the maid of honor, and says she needs several months to lose weight. So that's a few thousand dollars wasted. My fiancée says I'm "overreacting" and that I "just don't get it". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 311

You deserved it 3 346

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Relatable Exhausted Mental health Work Health Embarrassing Teenagers School Miscellaneous Art Painting Cute Kids Awkward Clumsy Love Dating Transportation Cars Painful Delivery Annoying Gross Video games Gamers Family Cops Mysterious Poopoo peepee Food

The Top

Today, the coach bus I was riding almost crashed. I was using the restroom at the time. The bus braked so hard, I peed all over the wall and splashed my shirt. Nobody wanted to sit anywhere near me after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 544

You deserved it 1 719

Today, I found out that my parents got married on their second date because they were mildly intoxicated, bored and wanted something to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 105

You deserved it 1 657

Today, my friend's van ran out of gas on an expressway off-ramp. After pushing it to the shoulder, we walked to a gas station and got a can of gas. We got back to the van to find that the battery had died from leaving on the lights and hazards to avoid an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 716

You deserved it 7 680

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years is dating another girl. Not only do she and I share the same hair and eye color, but we also happen to have the same first name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 431

You deserved it 434

Today, I hooked up with a man for the first time since my divorce. The sex was mind-blowing. His pillow talk then began with something like, “A cabal of Hollywood celebrities and political insiders want to rape your children…” I’m so dry now, I think I hit menopause. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 903

You deserved it 398

Today, it's been a few months since my wife and I have been intimate due to her health, so I have urges but out of respect I don't act on. However, while I was showering, I was scrubbing my dick and I immediately busted all over the shower curtain. I had a walk of shame to inform my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 201