By poisonivyretard - United States - Narragansett
Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML
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Don't mean to birch in here, but I felt like I had to leaf my own two cents:

OP, I wood take this unfortunate incident and tree to learn from it. Use the pain and discomfort as a reminder to be prepared. Deciduous both a favor, as you wouldn't be in pain, and I wouldn't have to read about it.

  Pleonasm  |  34

I doubt they all have 'This is poisonous' written all over them. He was out of options and probably took it in a haste, it's an honest mistake and mostly bad luck.

  eddeeezzyy  |  19

Though it is not easy to identify particular poisonous plants, it is always important to know that poison ivy and poison oak have 3 leaves per stem. Poison sumac has 9 - 4 on each side, 1 on the top. Especially since that all 3 of these types of poisonous plants seem to be the most occurring.

  sarcasm17  |  10

I agree with this guy actually. If he had no problem taking a dump and then using leaves to clean himself, then he obviously isn't new to the whole camping experience. He really should have known better...