Tough love bitch!

Nothing says "I love you" like getting mauled in the face by your own dog.

Maybe she was goin for something a little kinky...

#22 If she's trying to be kinky with a dog, then there's something wrong with that picture.

I was thinking more from the dogs point of view, but ok sure make it awkward.

Maybe your breath stank. He was just trying to be helpful in his own way

Maybe your breath stank. He was just trying to be helpful in his own way

Where'd the other comments go?

32- they went up your ass.

Thank you I was wondering what was causing that itch

I knew I wasn't the only one!! :D

fml admins r obv on their periods. deleting all humorous comments. they obv arent funny people

Forever not alone!

Whenever my dog licks MY face I maul him. >.> i thought it was the norm

As opposed to mauling you across someone else's face?

Guess you could call it a love tap? Just kidding

You need a comma after 'love'.

FIRST!

I doubt she mauled you there is a difference between being mauled and bitten I've been both a bite hurts sur but If she mauled your arm( in my case ) the body part will be completly ripped open and also it's harder to heal fix it's posible that ur nerves can be ripped and ya... so my point is that she most likely didn't maul your face would be completly ripped up and you would need to get to the hispital soon

gotta love them.dogs

She loves you!

your dog obviously knows you are a carrier.

For some reason my mind skipped over the word dog and I was thinking girlfriend.

Mans best friend...

Bad breath? Clean it up with orbit!

*Dirty mouth?

that pretty much is why dogs are so damn adorable :D

So much for "man's best friend"

And "diamonds are a girl's best friend", but since we can't tell OP's gender, we can't tell which one is relevant.

it's a saying. it doesn't mean a dog is a male human's best friend, but the best friend of the human race itself. I suggest you get some of this stuff that people call common sense.

^ I suggest you get the hell off the Internet before you infect it with your seriousness.

80 - Who pissed in your wheaties?

sorry twas I who took a dump in his lucky charms

common sense is not putting your face in a dog's face.

Only dogs would :)

Meh, that's usually a standard response with me. Gets the point across faster and better than talking.

Try hugging a cat and see how that goes...

"hey can I borrow your stapler?"
Response: *mauls face*

50- I'm hugging my cat right now :) He loves meeeee

Yeaaah, my cat actually pleads to be picked up. I'm sure if you tried hugging some outdoor cat (assuming you can catch them first) it wouldn't end well.

Cats are affectionate. Outside cats not as much usually. Mine love to be picked up and held.

Looks like we have ourselves here some o' them hipster cat-huggers fresh out of college

Actually my cat mauls me when I DON'T hug her :')

And plus, I thought dogs didn't like it when you bring your face near their face?

Actually, try hugging a bear cub when the mom is right there and see how THAT goes.

That's why you don't kiss dogs...

That was just her way of showing "affection," just make sure that when you're making love to your dog, you wearing protection.

Mmmm, good idea.

Sounds like your dog is showing you some tough love.

Says the top comment...

What a bitch

Bitch: A female dog, wolf, fox, or otter.
Why of course, it is a female dog (therefore, a bitch), what's your point?

Your specialty!

115 - I believe that was the intended pun that 10 was making...

Tis an animal, so not very surprising?

Tis an idiot commenting. Not very suprising.

Tis? wow new word I missed out on in school! what school you go to?

I'm pretty sure Tis is like an old phrase

It's an old phrase. Think back to Shakespeare.

Its like 'twas. Which stands for it was. 'tis stands for it is. Like a backward contraction i guess? Idk what its called if it has a name.

I read this comment in a cruella deVille type voice

I read it in a Morrigan voice....

Uhh 113, you're an idiot. It is a word, it's just not used often these days.

'Tis' stands for 'it is'.
'Twas' stands for 'it was'.
Simple as that.

maul her back.

You forgot to capitalize the 'm' in 'maul'.