Today, I hugged my dog and kissed her on the side of the face. She responded by mauling me across my own face. FML
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By
i_wuz_nver_here
| 31
Tough love bitch!
By
mpj13
| 8
She loves you!
COMMENTS
By
i_wuz_nver_here
| 31
Tough love bitch!
Reply
ThisIsMyReign
| 4
Nothing says "I love you" like getting mauled in the face by your own dog.
Reply
i_wuz_nver_here
| 31
Maybe she was goin for something a little kinky...
Reply
immaMonsta
| 8
#22 If she's trying to be kinky with a dog, then there's something wrong with that picture.
Reply
i_wuz_nver_here
| 31
I was thinking more from the dogs point of view, but ok sure make it awkward.
Reply
taco_bender
| 12
Maybe your breath stank. He was just trying to be helpful in his own way
Reply
taco_bender
| 12
Maybe your breath stank. He was just trying to be helpful in his own way
Reply
i_wuz_nver_here
| 31
Where'd the other comments go?
Reply
YdoIhaveAchode
| 4
32- they went up your ass.
Reply
i_wuz_nver_here
| 31
Thank you I was wondering what was causing that itch
Reply
Meraklez1013
| 9
I knew I wasn't the only one!! :D
Reply
IAdminIFlow
| 0
fml admins r obv on their periods. deleting all humorous comments. they obv arent funny people
Reply
Jiplo
| 18
Forever not alone!
Reply
YtotsDI
| 0
Whenever my dog licks MY face I maul him. >.> i thought it was the norm
Reply
jonriise18
| 3
As opposed to mauling you across someone else's face?
Reply
UnleashedKilla1
| 4
Guess you could call it a love tap? Just kidding
Reply
LMA0
| 5
You need a comma after 'love'.
Reply
mrmakefunofu
| 5
FIRST!
Reply
BloodMonger13
| 9
I doubt she mauled you there is a difference between being mauled and bitten I've been both a bite hurts sur but If she mauled your arm( in my case ) the body part will be completly ripped open and also it's harder to heal fix it's posible that ur nerves can be ripped and ya... so my point is that she most likely didn't maul your face would be completly ripped up and you would need to get to the hispital soon
Reply
thatssomia
| 12
gotta love them.dogs
By
mpj13
| 8
She loves you!
Reply
IAdminIFlow
| 0
your dog obviously knows you are a carrier.
Reply
buck33
| 14
For some reason my mind skipped over the word dog and I was thinking girlfriend.
Reply
a_purple_orange
| 4
Mans best friend...
Reply
HeartOfLead
| 24
Bad breath? Clean it up with orbit!
Reply
HeartOfLead
| 24
*Dirty mouth?
Reply
Ressamies
| 6
that pretty much is why dogs are so damn adorable :D
By
Jiplo
| 18
So much for "man's best friend"
Reply
Krirn
| 21
And "diamonds are a girl's best friend", but since we can't tell OP's gender, we can't tell which one is relevant.
Reply
Jiplo
| 18
it's a saying. it doesn't mean a dog is a male human's best friend, but the best friend of the human race itself. I suggest you get some of this stuff that people call common sense.
Reply
Kayokku
| 1
^ I suggest you get the hell off the Internet before you infect it with your seriousness.
Reply
TexasJosh
| 0
80 - Who pissed in your wheaties?
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zombicidal
| 11
sorry twas I who took a dump in his lucky charms
Reply
LouisianaBob
| 9
common sense is not putting your face in a dog's face.
By
Fyrrman
| 0
Only dogs would :)
Reply
Justforlolz
| 14
Meh, that's usually a standard response with me. Gets the point across faster and better than talking.
Reply
grahambertus
| 11
Try hugging a cat and see how that goes...
Reply
lizard399
| 0
"hey can I borrow your stapler?"
Response: *mauls face*
Response: *mauls face*
Reply
Kayokku
| 1
50- I'm hugging my cat right now :) He loves meeeee
Reply
VasilisaUzhasnaj
| 29
Yeaaah, my cat actually pleads to be picked up. I'm sure if you tried hugging some outdoor cat (assuming you can catch them first) it wouldn't end well.
Reply
TexasJosh
| 0
Cats are affectionate. Outside cats not as much usually. Mine love to be picked up and held.
Reply
StoryOfTheYear
| 13
Looks like we have ourselves here some o' them hipster cat-huggers fresh out of college
Reply
GothicAngel17
| 24
Actually my cat mauls me when I DON'T hug her :')
Reply
GothicAngel17
| 24
And plus, I thought dogs didn't like it when you bring your face near their face?
Reply
Tswift0806
| 3
Actually, try hugging a bear cub when the mom is right there and see how THAT goes.
By
jtthegr8
| 26
That's why you don't kiss dogs...
By
DrMime
| 10
That was just her way of showing "affection," just make sure that when you're making love to your dog, you wearing protection.
Reply
teejayx7
| 0
Mmmm, good idea.
By
FMLsOhilarious
| 6
Sounds like your dog is showing you some tough love.
Reply
HollyoaksFan93
| 9
Says the top comment...
By
MikeDa1Da
| 14
What a bitch
Reply
TheZee
| 12
Bitch: A female dog, wolf, fox, or otter.
Why of course, it is a female dog (therefore, a bitch), what's your point?
Why of course, it is a female dog (therefore, a bitch), what's your point?
Reply
a_purple_orange
| 4
Your specialty!
Reply
GothicAngel17
| 24
115 - I believe that was the intended pun that 10 was making...
By
MrBobby_fml
| 7
Tis an animal, so not very surprising?
Reply
domking1315
| 20
Tis an idiot commenting. Not very suprising.
Reply
Branflakes78
| 13
Tis? wow new word I missed out on in school! what school you go to?
Reply
Shootermtd25
| 7
I'm pretty sure Tis is like an old phrase
Reply
chilla4m3
| 6
It's an old phrase. Think back to Shakespeare.
Reply
AcidRaen
| 4
Its like 'twas. Which stands for it was. 'tis stands for it is. Like a backward contraction i guess? Idk what its called if it has a name.
Reply
kittenvks
| 11
I read this comment in a cruella deVille type voice
Reply
emmanizzer
| 6
I read it in a Morrigan voice....
Reply
GothicAngel17
| 24
Uhh 113, you're an idiot. It is a word, it's just not used often these days.
Reply
desireev
| 17
'Tis' stands for 'it is'.
'Twas' stands for 'it was'.
Simple as that.
'Twas' stands for 'it was'.
Simple as that.
By
thisbitchlys
| 0
maul her back.
Reply
LMA0
| 5
You forgot to capitalize the 'm' in 'maul'.