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Go to the girl and say "Hi. Look, since you are here now I can move back out. I moved in because he is a little slow in the head. By the way, don't do anything with his penis. He is very insecure about it because it hasn't grown since he was 3 years old. He hates when his girfriends' touch it." Then go out and find yourself a guy who appreciates you.

And the girl actually believed that terrible excise??

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Bacon.

As awesome as bacon undoubtably is, that was just lame.

Can I get some bacon?

Well I feel better now anyway... Oh bacon...

It was lame, but nothing else came to mind.

Perhaps you chose between bacon and cheese?

With a handle like "greendaycheese" I'm incredibly unsurprised that nothing else came to your mind. [:

I think this guy was hanging around /b/, and got lost.

81- As fucking hilarious as that was, 1 is a female....

And the girl actually believed that terrible excise??

Excise is a tax term.

It's a true story in some cases. My brother moved in with me because he's a lazy ass. But he has his own room. and he's gay. Pretty sure my boyfriend knows I'm not banging my brother...okay so maybe it's not that similar to the OP's story...

Sometimes girls can be oblivious. Not saying they are all the time though.

Yes, unfortunately auto correct is a bitch.

Time to move out

Tell the girl the truth and get your boyfriend to move out. That asshole.

Ex boyfriend* :P

You're better off without him

How do you know that? She's about to become homeless. Sure, it sucks to be cheated on, but at least he's putting a roof over her head. Who's to say the next guy she meets won't be a cheating bum?

Whoa, Perdix, that was a bit too depressing, dont you think? Leave him as quickly as you can, you'll probably find nicer guys living on the street.

Perdix, am I reading this wrong or are you implying that him putting a roof over her head somehow makes this a bit better? I'm not being sarcastic, just trying to be clear.

#22, depressing, indeed, but probably more relevant than #6's stale, thoughtless cliche. You yourself seem to be saying that nicer guys live on the street, so they won't solve her problem of shelter. This is why she ended up on FML, I guess.

Perdix is just saying that there is no guarantee the next dude she meets is going to be better, like what if she dates a homeless dude and he cheats? Then the original BF is better cause at least she gets a place to stay lol

Thank you for clarifying that for me.

#19 Assuming that her boyfriend is the only one with a job?

Hey maybe she's paying the rent every month? Just because he said she was lazy doesn't make it true. May have been an added "boo hoo" meant to tempt the other girl. Besides , I'm sure OP has friends or family to stay with. Why stay with him? If she doesn't then she can find a roommate.

I think you get the point - a home where you don't feel loved or welcome is not much of a home. And who sais he is putting the roof over her head? Might as well be the other way around. I get you cynism, Perdix, but please keep to being funny. I like you fun-side a lot more than your depressing, cynical side.

The FML never stated that it was HIS place. And what do you suggest I say instead of a stale, thoughtless cliche? Your boyfriend's a cheating shit don't bother dating again you'll probably end up with another scumbag?

Well, I haven't heard that excuse yet. You should tell the other girl the truth then kick the cheater's ass.

Double-team him. Make him wish he was freezing in the ninth circle of Hell. Make him regret ever lying to either of you.

John Tucker must die!

And as a nice little cherry on top, she should kick him in the nuts while he's making out with her.

Go to the girl and say "Hi. Look, since you are here now I can move back out. I moved in because he is a little slow in the head. By the way, don't do anything with his penis. He is very insecure about it because it hasn't grown since he was 3 years old. He hates when his girfriends' touch it." Then go out and find yourself a guy who appreciates you.

How does that adage about cheaters go? Oh, right... Winners never cheat, and cheaters deserve to get punched repeatedly in the balls by Manny Pacquiao. I think that's it.

DocBastard, you truly are a legend.

Doc, you really are amazing.

Although that probably ISN'T it... That doesn't make what you said any less awesome!

10, 20- That's pathetic if you're going to brown-nose go kiss the ground he stands on in private messaging.

32- There is nothing wrong with giving someone praise for an amazing comment. I am so sorry that you're having a bad day and hope it gets better. Maybe you should submit a Fml about whatever happened to you today. Good luck to you.

41- Actually there is something very wrong with that. Admitting to openly brown nosing someone says a lot about you. Comments on a website should not influence you to kiss up and endlessly try to support someone even when they're wrong, thats embarrassing. Try being a leader, not a follower.

RussianFox - If everyone led and no one followed, what's the sense of leading if there's no one to follow you? I understand your point, but are you honestly going to try to say that you're not a fan or follower of anyone or anything?

I am not brown nosing and you saying I am makes no sense since it would not benefit me in the slightest to do so. I happen to be a fan of Pacquiao and appreciate the way doc used him in his comment. Are you jealous because you're not as witty? Lighten up a bit. This sight is supposed to be fun.

Lets all just thumb doc's comments up because he's doc! Mindless fucks...

65, I'm pretty sure he got thumbed up because his comment was amusing. Do you find something wrong with that?

Wow. Is that really necessary?

Expertsmilee - And let's all thumb you down because you're spewing pure vile hatred for no reason. I only see one mindless fuck here.

Now to just shorten it and we'll have a fabulous work of prose =]

No... You definitely want Manny... And let the brown nosers be. The thumbs do all of the talking, anyways.

Why does it matter to you guys if people want kiss Doc's butt? How does it even effect you guys? The amount of butthurt and jealousy in this thread is unbearable.

There's too many jealous and insecure people out there that seriously just need to lighten up !

Docbastard- Of course i am a fan of things, but people blow it out of proportions. There is a clear limit on being a fan, to outright kissing the ground someone stands on and to me it's disgusting to see.

Its hilarious that people have "fans" on fml. I have read in some people's profile they will thumb up doc just because he is docbastard so I don't know why that kid got thumbed down its not entirely untrue. Not to say its completely negative I'm sure it's fun for everyone to have a leader and gives people something to look forward to or fight about.

I guess it's a good thing I cannot see the thumb ups or downs lol. As if I would let the opinion of others ruin my day. I appreciate every single opinion, whether for or against me, for it shows one of the beautiful freedoms we have.

Everyone, why are we arguing? Can't we just thumb the comment (up or down) whether you found it amusing or not and move on with our lives?

Go and kiss the guy in front of his new gf, and say 'oops, is she the sister you mentioned is in town?'

I would absolutely love to see that !

OP: Oh your sister is just...so cute! ;P

Which part stung more: that he called you his sister or that you were lazy? I'm guessing that you were the lazy girlfriend, and he just found an eager beaver, so to speak.

How can they not like the "eager beaver" part? Doesn't anybody know what "beaver" refers to? Please see Urban Dictionary before you cast your thumb.

I see what ya did there ;)

25- where's your eyeliner?

Psh, I need not such trivial things (I haven't bought it yet xD I'm somewhat broke)

*notices posthuman's profile* Look at posthuman rocking that outfit with so much swag, it just personifies the term YOLO.

Funnynesh- where's your funny?