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By Anonymous - 18/06/2017 16:00

Today, I went to fetch our bins after they were collected, only to scare the child that was trying to fit inside our compost bin. Apparently, she's not allowed to play in hers because she already broke two by doing this. These bins are $75 a piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 535

You deserved it 331

By Anonymous - 18/07/2019 18:00

Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 355

You deserved it 1 005

By Anonymous - 04/09/2017 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 168

You deserved it 489

Am I the asshole?

By Yanil - 20/06/2021 16:02

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 4 years ago. Turns out she hasn’t found love again since I broke it off with her for her best friend. She’s not the bubbly, cheery girl I met before. I can’t help but feel like an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 4 262

By MKfml - 13/04/2018 19:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, based on the significant time I spend at work, my phone is automatically labeling my work destination as my home destination and my home destination as my workplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 452

You deserved it 491

Cheap-ass lying bro-bro!

By Anonymous - 10/03/2020 04:07 - Netherlands - Bergeyk

Today, I found out my boyfriend is booking my dream vacation to Bali with his brothers, 6 months after he told me we couldn't go on vacation this year because he doesn’t have the money. They planned this within a week. I had been planning it with him for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 330

You deserved it 218

Hiding from the drama

By Tiff8any - 14/07/2021 21:59

Today, my boyfriend asked me to untag him in our vacation photos together. Last month, he hid his relationship status and hid every trace of me. He says it’s because he doesn’t want any "social media drama" and people knowing about his "personal life." We’ve been together for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 295

You deserved it 333

Great input, thanks

By Anonymous - 15/06/2019 12:30 - United States - Durham

Today, I had a doctor's appointment because I've recently lost weight. I'm already underweight, and I was concerned because the weight loss has been causing some other health concerns to worsen. My doctor's exact words of advice? "Eating food usually leads to weight gain." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 855

You deserved it 362

Run for the hills!

By Anonymous - 30/03/2020 17:00

Today, my girlfriend asked me the details for al-Qaeda's plan during 9/11 for an essay. I had no idea and she said she just expected me to know, since I'm "one of those people." I'm Iranian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 211

You deserved it 271

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

By EarScentedCandle - 27/05/2018 15:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, after watching Shrek, my little brother started collecting his earwax to make it into a candle like Shrek did. I can’t get him to throw it away even after bribing him with bags of candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 226

You deserved it 340

Save yourself

By Anonymous - 06/08/2021 22:01

Today, I had to offer my boyfriend a no-hard-feelings opportunity to just leave. He never wanted to be a dad, but since we accidentally got pregnant and had our son, I’ve watched his mental health go downhill so fast I was afraid he’d kill himself if he kept forcing himself to stay with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 262

Cancel the wedding

By Anonymous - 02/11/2022 14:00

Today, I tried to talk to my soon-to-be-husband about how he needs to take a more active approach in his own life. It devolved to him screaming at me and putting words in my mouth. This has been going on for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 696

There goes the neighborhood

By Lorky - 08/05/2020 02:00 - United States

Today, I received an email from the office of the apartment complex I moved into two months ago. Apparently, a woman a few apartments down from mine was murdered. Time to pack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 519

You deserved it 152

Unrequited and stuck

By Anonymous - 19/05/2020 02:00

Today, I'm crushing so hard on my male roommate that I've basically become a doormat for him. Meanwhile, he's on the phone for hours with the pretty girl he met over Tinder. I feel pathetic, stupid and jealous, which I have no right to be. Worst part, we're still quarantined together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 791

Great guy

By Anonymous - 10/06/2020 23:10

Today, my husband has been super happy for the last 11 weeks, as he's been able to tell me what to do, when to do it and how to do it. Now I'm allowed to start work again, he's gone back to being super shitty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 834

You deserved it 388

Payday

By Jasmine - 14/07/2020 17:01

Today, I got fired during my maternity leave for requesting my unpaid wages. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 100

You deserved it 130

In the cold

By the dog won - 16/07/2020 14:01

Today, after being tired of my husband acting like I’m invisible, giving more attention and affection to the dog than to me, and me going to spend a few nights at my sister’s house, he texted me, "You coming home to make dinner or what?" on the second day. It's now day 4 and he hasn’t said anything else since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 136

You deserved it 337

Fast food dinner

By anonymous - 18/12/2019 20:00 - United States - San Angelo

Today, I called my husband and asked him what he wanted from our favorite fast food place. A divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 231

You deserved it 203

Not fair

By Anonymous - 03/11/2021 17:00

Today, my boyfriend is quite capable of getting an erection. He gets one when we watch porn, when I talk dirty to him and do handjobs or blowjobs, but the moment I get naked for the main event, he goes as soft as a boiled noodle. I haven’t been properly shagged in 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 306

You deserved it 344

Same

By Anonymous - 05/12/2021 23:01

Today, I realized that because of my past abusive relationship, I will never love anyone fully. In the back of my mind, I will always have a doubt, thinking that they don't want me or that I'm just a goal to achieve until they're ready to leave. It's to the point where I don't see a reason to try; everyone will leave and I'm OK with that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 232

By Kid Lacef - 31/10/2018 15:30

Today, I asked my girlfriend for a kiss, and in response, she suggested that we settle for a hand hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 175

You deserved it 382

Stop being selfish

By Steph - 27/11/2021 16:59

Today, I live in a country where a new variant of COVID has been found and we have to go through all this garbage again, all because some people believe that vaccines are in violation of their rights and that it's their right to risk all of our lives and livelihoods. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 628

After sleepover

By carriageway - 31/01/2020 01:00 - United States - Newport News

Today, I was at a sleepover for a friend's birthday. It was great, but after sleeping on their pull out couch, I woke up with six pimples on my face and a rash on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 116

You deserved it 199

By Anonymous - 12/01/2017 20:00

Today, after 3 years of unemployment and 6 months of hard studying, I found out I hadn't actually registered myself for the public service exam that will happen later this month and could finally get me a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 530

You deserved it 2 497

That sucks

By Anonymous - 29/11/2018 15:30

Today, I bought a new vacuum cleaner after having to go several months without one. Immediately, I wanted to try it out. I must have underestimated how powerful it was, as it sucked up my socks and then broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 512

You deserved it 981

What were you thinking?

By Anonymous - 09/04/2023 15:00

Today, my boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me, saying things are moving "too fast". All I did was tell my 3 year-old that my boyfriend's parents are his new grandma and grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 3 579

Dazed and Confused

By Anonymous - 05/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Woodside

Today, I was promoted. I got advice throughout the day from all of management on what I'm supposed to do first thing everyday. Not one was the same as the other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 326

You deserved it 510

By babybambi - 29/12/2018 02:00

Today, I got food poisoning for the first time after cooking. Yesterday, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 404

You deserved it 295

By anonymous - 20/02/2017 02:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, we've hit day 4 with no hot water in my apartment. Today is also day 4 of the office insisting that the plumber is "on his way". My neighbor just got arrested for screaming at them. Looks like we'll be entering day 5 soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 578

You deserved it 451

By useless bosses - 26/02/2017 22:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, the people who gave me no training or instruction on how to do my job tried to fire me, because asking for clarification apparently means I'm incompetent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 624

You deserved it 421

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The Top

Today, I was driving with my boss and she held her breath as we drove past a cell tower, because she didn't want to "breathe in any radiation." I have to take orders from this moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 957

You deserved it 2 021

Today, my step-mom asked if I was having some eating issues. I admitted that maybe I've picked up some bad habits from friends and school. Now she won't stop bombarding me with self-help books and therapy websites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 686

You deserved it 23 284

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 530

You deserved it 25 340

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 1 276

Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 147

Today, I spent 20 minutes calling for my cat, worried she’d escaped. I found her in the bathroom, sitting in the sink, calmly watching me yell her name. She didn’t even flinch. I realized I’d been shouting “Fluffy!” at the open window. All my neighbors now probably know my cat’s name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 363