The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By 282 - 29/10/2018 14:00

Today, I was sitting on my younger sister's bed while I was on my phone. She came in the room and pushed me off the bed, and I ended up slicing the skin under my eye. Now, my parents are forcing me to pay for the injury for "hanging off the bed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 743

You deserved it 349

By Hunter cat - 02/11/2018 13:30

Today, when I got back to my bedroom, I found my cat had left not one, not two, but four dead lizards for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 353

You deserved it 388

Stop tagging people

By CatsOutBagsOut - 14/03/2023 20:00

Today, thanks to my asshole coworker and his obsession of posting pictures and tagging me in them on Facebook after I repeatedly told him not to, my wife found out about a party we had with colleagues only. I’m seen in several photos kissing my work bestie, who I hoped I’d keep under wraps until now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 4 021

Sounds like a lovely guy

By Blindsider - 28/03/2023 12:00

Today, I had my second miscarriage. My husband responded by throwing a bitch fit because I "totally blindsided him with this miscarriage shit” knowing he wanted kids, and if he'd known he wouldn’t have married me in the first place. He threw his wedding band in the trash and stormed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 139

By pipers - 02/05/2019 10:00 - United States - Northfield

Today, I spent several hundred dollars having our pipes and septic system fixed. Tonight, I watched my husband pour about a half-liter of bacon grease into the sink. Better keep the septic guy on speed dial. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 104

You deserved it 276

The diet plan from hell

By Mustanggt - 01/11/2020 14:01 - United States - Rochester

Today, I learned that the vomiting and uncontrollable flatulence I've been suffering from is normal with my new diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 277

By Anonymous - 22/08/2019 13:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I missed out on the chance of buying a great used car because my loan wasn't approved. Why wasn't it approved? Because the vehicle has +100k miles on it. I wish they would've told me that when I applied for the loan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 437

You deserved it 333

Sports ball man mad

By CowboysWife - 05/02/2022 08:01

Today, my husband destroyed our brand new TV in a fit of rage, all because the Dallas Cowboys lost. I've only made 1 out of 18 payments on it so far. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 229

You deserved it 318

By Sotired - 01/03/2019 17:00 - United States - Medford

Today, after working 12 shifts in the past 8 days at 2 jobs and thinking today was a day off, I got the call that I misread my schedule and I was in fact scheduled. Got off at 2:30 am, work again at 9 am with 9 shifts to go this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 463

You deserved it 366

By addict.ion - 06/03/2012 23:23 - Spain

Today, while on exchange in Spain, I tried to chat up a charming waiter. The Spanish teacher corrected my sentence’s structure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 131

By Starchaser - 16/04/2017 19:23

Today, I helped my children dye Easter eggs. They did great. My husband, however, is covered in dye spots and glitter from "helping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 378

You deserved it 633

Economy, schmeconomy

By RejectRaven - 16/05/2019 12:00

Today, I got my first paycheck after getting a new job so I could pay rent. It was only $387.19, even after working overtime. My rent is $515. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 997

You deserved it 247

Ragebait

By Fortunes Fool - 02/12/2024 21:00 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out to Outback Steakhouse. We went to one outside of town because my wife works at our local one. When we got there, guess who we saw? I forgot she transferred to another location, which just happened to be this one. Goddamit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 1 950

By Anonymous - 12/06/2019 02:10

Today, my husband came home with tears in his eyes. I ran and asked him why he was crying. He said he wasn't, but he finally admitting to talking to a woman in a bar who, when she noticed his wedding ring, sprayed him with mace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 354

You deserved it 263

Bad dad

By So inappropriate - 09/01/2025 16:00 - United States

Today, I learned that when my husband takes our son shopping and he acts up, my husband picks him up under his arm and carries him around, instead of talking to him and trying to calm or reason with him. I'm FURIOUS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 760

By 90 up I-95 - 07/07/2017 20:00 - United States - State College

Today, I was wrapping up my move in a 16-foot truck with my car in tow. Google rerouted me to avoid traffic... through a state park. The road had only one lane. I can still hear the phalanx of cars honking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 503

You deserved it 861

By Anonymous - 26/07/2019 20:00

Today, I got home after a night of drinking with my coworker. We hooked up, but he was so drunk he had to use a flashlight to put it in. Then, he ran out of the room to throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 788

You deserved it 918

Chuds gonna chud

By Anonymous - 08/09/2023 16:00

Today, I was at a job interview which seemed to be going well until the guy saw on my CV that I prefer they/them pronouns. Now, I’m not pushy about it, but he instantly lost interest and kept checking his phone to make sure he gave me my full 15 minutes; at minute 16 I was out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 1 216

By dang. - 20/08/2019 06:03

Today, I figured out the bank account my mom set up for me is actually a joint account, and she gets half the money I deposit. I have been putting money in there for 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 570

By Anonymous - 31/08/2019 06:03 - United States - New York

Today, while working at Subway, I was called a "terrorist" and other names by a customer 'behind my back'. I made him the best sandwich I'd ever made, in order to leave a good impression. Then I had to say the wonderful words, "Your total is $9.11." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 223

You deserved it 156

Knock yourself out, dude

By pornstorebitch - 23/10/2019 00:01

Today, I got told I was a bitch because I wouldn’t let a homeless man dig through my dumpster at work, even though he was hungry. We don’t even sell food. I work at a sex store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 790

You deserved it 219

Unhappy birthday

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 19:00 - Australia

Today, my cleaner wished me a happy birthday. My family and friends forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 107

You deserved it 208

All you need is hate

By Anonymous - 31/08/2022 12:00

Today, I wore a t-shirt that had a rainbow-ish multicolored design when I went to drop off my daughter at school. Another parent threatened to “call the authorities” on me for wanting to “poison” children with “f**got memorabilia,” and to “stop pushing my agenda” on them. I’m a straight dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 157

You deserved it 191

Not a girl, not yet a woman

By Anonymous - 28/02/2020 01:00

Today, I got a very accusatory phone call from my daughter's teacher. According to my daughter, I absolutely refuse to let her eat in the morning. In reality, I told her it’s her responsibility to get herself up and get breakfast on her own before we leave. My daughter is 17 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 371

You deserved it 242

Y'all need him in your heart

By guess I deserved that one... - 11/10/2022 08:00

Today, I flirted and swapped numbers with an attractive married man. Later, when I texted him, he sent me a picture of Jesus and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 1 899

Slicey machine go thwack

By Anonymous - 28/03/2020 05:00

Today, I lost my job due to the coronavirus. I have no way to pay my bills and very few places are hiring just now. My boss tried to make me feel better by saying her husband was just laid off and they'll struggle as well. She has a £120k salary and just got a £30k bonus. Apparently, "we're in the same boat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 181

You deserved it 191

It's just a ride

By fatherof4 - 26/07/2021 04:01

Today, I realized that this is it. We are here for the blink of an eye, then dead. What if God doesn’t exist, then nothing has any meaning. I’ve been almost frozen in terror at this thought for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 621

It's called fashion Dave, look it up!

By Anonymous - 05/06/2020 17:00

Today, my beautiful bride walked towards me in a dress that looked just like a ribbed condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 578

You deserved it 293

Not sure that's how it works

By Julisna - 16/09/2021 20:00

Today, after getting sick of my boyfriend pestering me for a threesome, I invited a male friend over. My boyfriend strongly declined, because, "Hell no, I ain’t gay." So this man expects me to be a lesbian, but him being gay is a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 339

By Ferniferousfern - 20/08/2018 18:30

Today, I sat down to use the bathroom after a long day of work. My toilet, however, had other plans, as a spontaneous, ear shattering crack flooded the entire bathroom, soaking the outer carpet and shorting out my bathroom scale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 968

You deserved it 158

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was performing in a community theater production. Right before my big scene, I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in, but it came out with such force that I lost my balance, fell off the stage, and landed in the lap of the mayor, who was in the front row. My character’s dramatic entrance was unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 144

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 274

You deserved it 8 513

Today, I had a chest X-ray. I thought everything was okay, that is until the tech gasped slightly and muttered, "Mother of God." I asked him what was wrong, and he kept insisting he had no idea what I was talking about. Now I'm so upset I can't even sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 130

You deserved it 2 476

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop and I noticed that there was a bug on the guys face in front of me. Trying to be nice I lightly smacked it off. His reaction was to punch me in the face. Repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 537

You deserved it 46 651

Today, I had my final economics exam, and needed to ace it, or else I would fail the entire module. After studying all day yesterday, and pulling an all-nighter today, I managed to pull it off and get a perfect score. Unfortunately, my teacher didn't believe that it was possible, and accused me of cheating. Now I may be thrown out of college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 345

You deserved it 3 075

Today, the vet sent me an email wishing my kitten a happy 2nd birthday. My cat died last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 582

You deserved it 4 192