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On the down-low

By IrialNiall - 08/02/2021 07:42

Today, I tried to quit my job of almost 6 years so I can date the man of my dreams, one of my bosses. When I gave my 3 weeks notice so they can try to replace me, they refused to accept it. My potential boyfriend won't see me anymore until I quit and can't tell my other managers why I need to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 1 328

IrialNiall tells us more.

IrialNiall 12

Monday 8 February 2021 2:55

I have another job lined up, no problem, and am already hired in. It made more sense for me to be the one to leave since I'm hourly and he's salary. I love my job, but I hate it at the same time, so it's a bit of both. He never asked me to leave though, I offered to be the one to go somewhere else. He's never struck me as controlling or anything like that before, and still doesn't now. But neither of us wants to be fired. I don't think you're cynical at all, by the way, and actually appreciate you're honesty and POV

By gogoboobzilla - 10/12/2016 04:48

Today, I got fired via Facebook messenger in a chat that also included a coworker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 212

You deserved it 629

gogoboobzilla tells us more.

gogoboobzilla 2

Friday 16 December 2016 8:34

OP here. I was actually a 1099 'contractor' so there's very little recourse, HR wise. My boss had recently restructured pay to where I was making way less money...so I was suggesting other ways for me to go about my job so it was more efficient/profitable. He got pissy, I didn't back down, he said ' Whatever, I'm down with this, good luck to you' and I was offered another job that's $5/hr more, like, 30 min later.

By Anonymous - 06/07/2017 21:00 - Italy

Today, I had to have knee surgery. When I woke up, I found myself with a bandage around my head. The surgeon explained to me that one of the students in the operating room had fainted during the procedure, falling over and head-butting me on her way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 766

You deserved it 251

Eat the rich

By dysfunctional_ravenclaw - 01/06/2017 22:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I was driving up to a Four Seasons, not to stay, but to attend a work event that was already paid for. I did look a little out of place in my Toyota Corolla amongst the luxury SUVs, but was nonplussed when a man came up to me, knocked on my window, and said, "The Motel 6 is over there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 846

You deserved it 446

The step before rat-licker

By Annabelle - 17/03/2021 17:01

Today, I got caught sniffing a rat, and now my boss is forcing me to be tested for the black death and is "terrified" that I made everyone sick, and says I may be fired from my job as a pediatric anesthesiologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 1 250

Tracking

By busted - 05/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I told my mum that the reason I hadn't contacted her for 3 days was that my internet was broken, when in reality I'd gone off for a dirty weekend with the guy I'm having sex with. I forgot my older sister worked for my internet provider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 2 727

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 575

You deserved it 1 924

By GumStickExtraGmail - 15/09/2017 01:30 - United States - Arvada

Today, I found my daughter playing on my phone. When I got it back, I saw multiple texts to my boss saying that I quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 736

You deserved it 634

Pennies From Heaven

By Anonymous - 07/09/2019 04:02

Today, I bought some shoes, but pissed off the lady working at the store by returning them 5 minutes later. She yelled at me and ripped my receipt in half, everyone in the store watched as she threw a handful of pennies at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 029

You deserved it 644

By Anonymous - 24/08/2016 20:27 - United States - Covina

Today, my manager challenged me to make two big sales at work. Seeing as customers spend a lot of money in our store, I decided the challenge was fairly easy and accepted. She immediately started stealing all of my sales. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 595

You deserved it 892

Baby shark

By Lordofdance - 13/10/2017 16:00

Today, the only way my newborn sleeps is if I dance around with him strapped to me. Six hours and counting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 950

You deserved it 496

By deuceaddict - 03/11/2017 21:00

Today, I was confronted by my superiors for spending a "suspicious" amount of time in the bathroom every day. Not only did I have to take the test, but I also had to send in a doctor's note proving that I have a bowel condition I'd hoped to keep secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 784

You deserved it 308

Empathy

By KidCudi227 - 23/10/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a bouquet of roses with a message attached. The message said, "Ever since your dog died you've stopped putting out, so I think we should break up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 967

You deserved it 291

Second time

By timon_n_pumbaa - 11/01/2020 01:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I found myself locked in a bathroom for the second time in my life. This time at least I was at home. I live alone. I had to break the window on the shower door and crawl out. Now, I need to crawl in/out to shower, brush my teeth and more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 1 256

By Anonymous - 28/03/2018 05:00 - United States - Papillion

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me with my best friend. He actually had the balls to say her leg was asleep and he was trying to wake it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 532

You deserved it 366

Pride and joy

By jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 115

You deserved it 456

By Anonymous - 03/03/2018 01:30 - United States

Today, I woke up after being sick from the flu and tried to get out of bed. I forgot I was in a bunk bed and broke my ankle in the fall down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 352

You deserved it 862

No rest for the heroes

By J Claire Sanchez - 22/03/2020 15:56

Today, everyone has been advised to stay home and self-quarantine due to the COVID19 outbreak. This would've been great and all, especially since I'm pregnant and need the bed rest, but I work as a doctor and we're understaffed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 089

You deserved it 199

By My rapey cat (doesn't even have balls) - 21/04/2018 01:30

Today, my 20-year-old sister is taking care of my cat while I am out of state. She sent a photo of him "playing in a silly way" with her kitty. I then had to very seriously explain to her that in the photo, my cat and her cat were trying to make more cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 221

You deserved it 433

Legit logic

By Carmen VanDiest - 24/04/2020 02:00

Today, I asked my husband why his socks are always inside-out in the laundry basket. He replied, "So the insides get clean." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 550

WTF dude?

By shit - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found my drunken roommate asleep in my bed, naked, after he'd peed himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 917

You deserved it 1 984

By dragonstooth257 - 20/08/2018 15:00

Today, I confessed to my husband that I quoted Lightning McQueen in an interview and got my dream job because of it. He wont stop laughing and telling my friends. I'm never going to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 132

You deserved it 763

Bad omen

By IHateMyJob - 18/01/2009 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I received an email from my boss telling me how appreciated I was and how valuable I am to the company. I wish I hadn't scrolled down to read the included conversation where he asked his boss whether to lie to me about how good I was or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 545

You deserved it 2 071

Denial

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out my fiancé can't wear his ring at his parents house, because his mom and dad don’t want him to marry me, and it has nothing to do with me. They don’t like my parents, so I’m not good enough for their son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 639

You deserved it 287

By Anonymous - 16/10/2018 17:58

Today, just after letting my dogs inside, I took a shower. As soon as I left the bathroom, I stepped in a very nice present left by my dog, a pile of warm crap. After getting that mess cleaned up, I walked into the hallway just to slip in a puddle of piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 508

You deserved it 615

Good Boy tells us more.

Good Boy 7

Tuesday 16 October 2018 5:51

I'm the OP, but I made an account to comment. My dogs are trained, but the only thing I can assume is that they are in the middle of territory war or something cause it's only 1 dog doing it, and it started happening recently.