Love: Today, while playing spin the bottle, my two spins landed on...

By Olihime - 10/01/2010 18:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while playing spin the bottle, my two spins landed on two really pretty girls. The first girl I missed and kissed her chin. The second girl I headbutted and gave a nosebleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 071

You deserved it 44 424

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Same thing different taste

Spin on this

By foreveralone - 21/03/2020 06:00

Today, I had my first kiss. It would have been great if I wasn't playing spin the bottle as a 23-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 623

You deserved it 399

By Anonymous - 17/08/2010 07:10 - United States

Today, I was on my third date with this really cute girl. After a very romantic evening, I decided to go for the first kiss, but because of my nervous reflex in which I get bloody noses, I ended up bleeding all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 602

You deserved it 4 901

By Anonymous - 14/10/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I went to a party where I met some nice girls. One of them was really sweet and we were having a great time in my friend's backyard. As I was on the swing, I was gonna give her my number, but instead, I gave her a harsh kick to the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 586

You deserved it 27 179

Cool moves

By littlegirl - 07/05/2011 04:46 - Canada

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 585

You deserved it 45 364

By ILTali - 03/03/2009 23:00 - United States

Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 826

You deserved it 8 188

By Bo - 22/04/2009 13:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a party. The girl I'm madly in love with referred to me as her 'Gay Friend.' She refused to kiss me in Spin-the-Bottle as 'She didn't want to do anything with anyone that night'. She then made out, and slept with, my 'best friend' whom she had never met before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 436

You deserved it 6 715

By SaMike - 01/09/2009 01:12 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to the movies. She's pretty conservative and I decided after four dates to give her her first ever kiss. As I leaned in she violently sneezed and hit me in the nose with the hand she brought up to cover her face. I broke my nose and got blood down her cleavage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 742

You deserved it 4 743

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By Anonymous - 11/08/2021 00:01

Today, I was making out with this guy when my nose started bleeding, and it got on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 100

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 603

You deserved it 88 959

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 763

You deserved it 73 908

hannahuk1986 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 23:36

Count your blessings that there are two girls willing to kiss a klutz like you.

hotpockets92 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 23:18

smooth

Comments

icanspellgud 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 23:14

first

polkadot1196 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 23:26

STOP BEING AN ATTENTION HOGGER!

Mustardnight 3

Monday 11 January 2010 8:35

Polka you just did the exact same thing. Sry op.

michaelscot23 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 2:50

I pity da fool!

dtm1973 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 23:14

So you're a clutz. it's ok.

White667 0

Monday 11 January 2010 22:36

Yeah, I mean just be slow. If you're not good at it, don't rush the process.

skullcandifiedDJ 5

Tuesday 25 October 2011 23:46

what a ladies man

SpikedKnuckles 8

Tuesday 2 October 2012 1:42

What an idiot. How the hell do you miss. That's embarrassing to all men.

hotpockets92 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 23:18

smooth

polkadot1196 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 23:26

STOP BEING AN ATTENTION HOGGER!

kko138 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 23:25

good, last.

Erindub 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 23:27

At least it wasn't your brother

Erindub 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 23:34

And

hannahuk1986 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 23:36

Count your blessings that there are two girls willing to kiss a klutz like you.

Laxloverr24 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 23:40

you really need to get a haircut. no offence. that's just from looking at your picture.

GumboVariation 0

Monday 11 January 2010 7:06

His hair actually kind of reminds me Roger Daltrey in his youth. What's so wrong about it?

eastangels 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 1:03

Laxxxxxxxxx

azurablade 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 23:44

fail

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 997

You deserved it 7 511

Today, on my first day as a community support officer, a 7-foot meathead in the middle of a domestic argument told me to “piss off shorty”, and when I asked him not to swear at me, he picked me up one-handed and threw me in a builder's skip full of mud and wet cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 351

The Top

Today, my ex husband is marrying my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106 726

You deserved it 7 176

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 833

You deserved it 4 353

Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 007

You deserved it 6 882

Today, I found out I have a huge infected boil on my vagina. The worst part was that I wasn't the one to discover this. My boyfriend was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 455

You deserved it 9 948

Today, I found out my boyfriend of six years, with whom I wanted to spend my life with, has been cheating behind my back with my friend. The kicker? They met after I invited her to live with us to get away from her chaotic family, and I suspected she was emotionally stunted at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 333

You deserved it 206

Today, I finally built up the courage to quit my job. I waited an hour to speak to the boss; I finally sat down with her, and she told me I had to be let go because I'm not "reliable enough." The only time I missed work was when I had the stomach flu. I was fired before I could even quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 020

You deserved it 3 482

Same thing different taste

Spin on this

Cool moves

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