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Party hard

By Jason the flasher - 15/09/2018 22:00

Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 3 294

By bluhbluhbluh - 06/10/2018 22:11

Today, I was informed that I had to repeat a freshman course that I aced because of a glitch in the system. I'm a senior now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 630

You deserved it 194

bluhbluhbluh tells us more.

bluhbluhbluh 14

Friday 5 October 2018 20:20

it's college. I tried to work it out so that I only did the exams but they rejected my request. about four months of doing paperwork and trying to solve the problem down the drain. :/

Indeed they do

By Sonotsuave - 04/03/2019 08:00 - United States - Arlington

Today, my now ex-friend told me she had feelings for my ex and was also choosing him over our friendship, despite being fully aware of the crazy rollercoaster our relationship was and being there to hear every detail of the trauma. She classily told me at random, in a public mall. People suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 473

You deserved it 246

By Sady_Ct - 17/03/2019 18:00

Today I took my dogs to the off leash dog park as usual. Today some dick decided to feed my pup alcohol while I was cleaning up after my other dog. Now my pup is sick and the vet is worried he may not survive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 461

You deserved it 236

Wet leg

By meep - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, as I was walking to wash my hands after using the restroom, the guy walking away from the sink flicked water from his hands towards the floor. Water splashed all over my beige shorts. I had to walk back into class looking like I'd peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 089

You deserved it 497

By Anonymous - 18/04/2019 02:00

Today, I found out I'm going to have to come into the office on yet another weekend to plow snow. This wouldn't be so bad, if I actually got paid to work weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 957

You deserved it 256

By ismomalle - 03/11/2011 13:38 - Saudi Arabia

Today, my uncle asked me to help him organize a surprise party for my twin sister. I think he doesn’t get the concept of “twins”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 47

By Bad Child? - 08/04/2017 16:00

Today, as I was brushing my teeth, I heard my mum praying to God to help her "get rid of such a stupid child". I have no idea what I've done wrong, and she's refused to talk to me all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 830

You deserved it 438

By Danicole927 - 28/12/2016 03:53 - United States - Trenton

Today, I had a job interview with a world-renowned forensic psychologist, and it fits my degree perfectly. He didn't want to hire me, but he'd like me to return as a patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 002

You deserved it 760

By chachichou - 08/12/2016 03:05 - France - Strasbourg

Today, at 4 a.m., I woke up so I could check out the blood moon. It looked magnificent, so I took a few photos and went back to bed. When I later got up, I noticed the orange street light outside. I’d been admiring a street lamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 414

By The Dishwasher - 07/06/2017 15:00 - Canada - Guelph

Today, I started work at catering company. I was aware that I'd be cleaning dishes, but they forgot to warn me how many. Needless to say, after polishing 527 glasses, my hands hurt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 708

You deserved it 1 126

That one friend

By meesa in big doo do dis time! - 13/06/2017 12:00

Today, I learned that all of my "friends" refer to me as the, "Jar Jar Binks" of our circle of friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 538

You deserved it 478

By yoyyo - 07/11/2016 06:29 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I accidentally sliced open my crush's hand at work while we were messing around on break. A month ago, I broke his brother's finger playing dodgeball. No wonder I'm still single; he must think I'm out to get his family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 127

You deserved it 1 343

Love isn't…

By bruh - 20/07/2019 06:20

Today, I found out my boyfriend made a move to hook up with my best friend. She was about to reciprocate, only for him to suddenly tell her that she’s a horrible friend, and then he told me about it. I’m not sure if I should be picking sides here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 742

You deserved it 225

Sorry mate, you're on your own

By LivingBroke - 21/08/2017 20:01

Today, I signed the lease for a flat that a mate and I decided to move into. About five minutes after leaving the renting agency, I received a text from my mate saying he couldn't move in with me after all. I am now the happy tenant of a large inner city flat that I can't afford. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 259

You deserved it 499

By Worky Workerton - 22/09/2016 17:14 - United States - Oakland

Today, I was fired without warning from my job because I was not consulting my boss about things like washing dishes and throwing away garbage. Basically, I was fired for being too good at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 818

You deserved it 859

HELP!

By SeatofIgnorance - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 5 472

By Anonymous - 21/08/2019 18:00

Today, I now have been dumped by 4 serious girlfriends in the last 5 years, each of them for the same reason: Being with me would have meant dealing with my mother who, without fail, asked each of them when we planned on marrying and having kids, every single week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 259

You deserved it 602

Time to GTFO

By Anonymous - 06/10/2023 12:30

Today, my girlfriend cheated on me, and for the second time in two days. She has now cheated a total of 7 times in the space of 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 1 137

Throw the bill at the kid. Do it.

By Deadmeat - 12/09/2017 04:29

Today, I was really excited that I'd made it the two weeks I'd borrowed my mother-in-law's new car without putting a scratch on it. I got off work to discover a customer's child throwing rocks in the parking lot. They cracked the windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 062

You deserved it 274

If the shoe fits…

By marina1686 - 20/09/2019 20:00

Today, I worked a 9-hour retail like this. I didn't notice until 3 hours into my shift and had to deal with this embarrassment for the next 6 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 1 028

He's trying to kill you!

By Mary - 21/10/2019 22:00 - United States

Today, while at a party, my boyfriend threw a temper tantrum. He screamed at me and then gave me the silent treatment. All because I said, "No thank you" to the crab dip he got for me. I'm allergic to shellfish, we've been dating for two years and it's come up before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 221

By Oh my god ew - 03/01/2018 10:19

Today, I was watching the news. Apparently a local pizza shop was shut down after pictures of a hundred cockroaches scuttling on the make table were posted online. In my hand was a slice of the pizza I had ordered there yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 038

You deserved it 517

Symphoniaes tells us more.

Symphoniaes 32

Sunday 31 December 2017 20:08

Hey, OP here. This happened a little while ago, and I wanted to give an update. They actually had the gall to reopen the store “under new management” and put big yellow signs in the windows to let everyone know that they were open and hiring. I drove by there yesterday, however, and the windows and door were boarded up. I still throw up a little just thinking about it.