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Hey, OP here. No, he wasn't joking with me. I had just gotten a divorce, and he thought it was because im gay. I'm also female, so my father thought females are more likely to be gay??? idk.

By SHUTCHINS - 14/10/2017 13:00 - United Kingdom - Canterbury

Today, while my fiancé was showing me the finger guard on his brand new, very sharp knife, he managed to slice his finger open and throw the knife onto my leg, cutting me also. There's now a nice trail of blood on the carpet all the way to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 343

You deserved it 305

By anonymous - 22/12/2017 15:00

Today, I took the bus home after visiting a friend. Standing in front of my house, I realized that I had forgotten my keys. They were still in my car, which I had parked at my friend's place and forgotten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 3 513

Misunderstanding

By Anonymous - 11/11/2019 03:00

Today, my boss sent me to remove a tree from a client's home. So I went and cut down the tree, only for my boss to show up an hour later, speechless. I was supposed to remove a sapling that had sprouted through the driveway tarmac, not the 100-year-old prizewinning Japanese cherry tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 3 531

Toxic masculinity FTW

By Anonymous - 02/07/2021 18:01 - South Africa - Bryanston

Today, I found that my boyfriend and his friend sends nudes of other girls to each other and then comment on them. When I confronted him, I was told that I was wrong for being upset "because this is just what men do". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 245

By Anonymous - 11/03/2018 01:30

Today, my manager cussed me out for being unable to keep a customer happy. That "customer" was a senile old twit who had wandered away from his carer, thought our shop was his living room, and demanded to know who replaced all his furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 463

You deserved it 397

By A_W - 06/07/2018 19:00

Today, in desperate need of cash to get me by until payday, I decided to pawn one of my nicer possessions, a Coach purse. Today, I learned that counterfeiters are getting a lot better at their profession. Now I have no money AND a fake purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 150

You deserved it 657

By Anonymous - 21/06/2018 01:30 - Australia

Today, I discovered that my ex is still my emergency contact at work. I found this out when I fainted and my work called her. She told them to "pull the plug". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 203

You deserved it 826

By HalfSack - 21/08/2018 18:30 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I walked into a sexual health clinic to get checked for STDs and they sent me to emerge instead. After 6 hours of tests, I was diagnosed with testicular cancer at the age of 27. I never thought I'd wish to have gonorrhea or chlamydia instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 985

You deserved it 149

You what?

By dumbucksally - 31/08/2018 06:00

Today, my 30 year-old boyfriend of 4 years OD'd on his mental health medication, resulting in a trip to the hospital. He said the experience was eye-opening and he wants to be 100% honest with me. He then said he wants to have sex with his biological mother, who he finally met last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 450

You deserved it 315

By Anonymous - 30/08/2019 00:04 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I found out my brother doesn't have a problem with "keeping it in the family". It's now up to me to explain why our cousin is pregnant with his kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 198

You deserved it 182

By eas - 18/07/2009 02:11 - Indonesia

Today, tanning session on a heavenly beach in Bali. A local seller came to me and showed me the swimsuits that she was selling. She also add with a big smile: “I have big size for you!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 101

By Alyssasgoneawol - 24/12/2016 09:33 - United States

Today, I tried to flirt with some firefighters. They were too focused on the fire to notice my hints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 762

By Anonymous - 06/07/2017 02:00 - United Kingdom - Halstead

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend when he suddenly got down on one knee and proposed. A waiter tripped over him and spilled our food all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 646

You deserved it 517

By Anna Lete - 12/07/2017 21:31

Today, my apartment was flooded due to a broken pipe, which caused a huge family of cockroaches to disperse. Did you know they can fly? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 947

You deserved it 338

By sangoskywalker - 18/08/2016 21:12

Today, I woke up from an erotic fantasy about my boss. Today was also the day he wanted to have a nice long chat about my future with the company. I couldn't even look him in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 695

You deserved it 1 687

sangoskywalker tells us more.

sangoskywalker 22

Saturday 20 August 2016 7:03

Hi guys, OP here. First I want to say how amazing you all are, and to thank you for your hilarious comments. I feel like I should be saying something about how I didn't expect this to be published, but since getting an FML published is the point of submitting it, I won't. For reference, the "position" we were discussing would actually make him not my boss anymore, so to 2, 4, 5, 6 & 7--no. And shit, 11, I'm sorry! Mine was just awkward not scary! 13, I personally think he's very attractive, have since I joined his team, but everyone has their own tastes. Finally, yes, it is still awkward even days later. Thanks!