Love and Intimacy: Today, I was working in bed when my boyfriend stumbled in, drunk...

By thishasbeenaverytellingnight - 08/10/2017 16:00

Today, I was working in bed when my boyfriend stumbled in, drunk as hell. He got on top of me saying he wanted sex. After a moment, he paused and said, “Sorry, I thought you were Stephen.” I’m a girl. Stephen is my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 478

You deserved it 333

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/02/2013 05:07 - United States - Topeka

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 562

You deserved it 56 748

By hugme101 - 20/12/2010 00:20 - Canada

Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 083

You deserved it 9 703

By em - 05/02/2011 09:32 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 275

You deserved it 5 908

By Anonymous - 02/10/2010 13:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 935

You deserved it 3 166

By elisabeth_pwnes - 16/03/2012 10:38 - Norway

Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 270

You deserved it 3 733

This needs clarification

By wrongdecisions - 05/07/2022 16:00

Today, some guy I’ve been talking to showed up at my house while I was on video call with my boyfriend. I had to confess to a stupid situation I had no business being in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 1 692

By breeeeeh - 21/06/2013 22:18 - France - Brou-sur-chantereine

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 679

You deserved it 69 921

By Matt - 13/07/2012 19:06 - United States

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 344

You deserved it 57 787

By sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 376

You deserved it 4 325

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 675

You deserved it 2 370

Tripartita 44

Sunday 8 October 2017 16:17

Relax, OP! Stephen is a very common name, so you’re probably being cheated on with somebody else.

ragnarok1540 39

Sunday 8 October 2017 16:11

You can't really blame him. Stephen is one sexy DILF!

Comments

ragnarok1540 39

Sunday 8 October 2017 16:11

You can't really blame him. Stephen is one sexy DILF!

Tripartita 44

Sunday 8 October 2017 16:17

Relax, OP! Stephen is a very common name, so you’re probably being cheated on with somebody else.

exileonmainst 16

Sunday 8 October 2017 16:59

He could've been talking about Stephen Colbert, god knows that I have a man crush on him. Then again, your dad is pretty groovy too..

Lobby_Bee 17

Sunday 8 October 2017 17:37

He could be referring to Stephanie. Beware.

BanjoCheeseGuy 26

Sunday 8 October 2017 19:35

Damn, your father must be a King in bed!

Glowworm56 26

Sunday 8 October 2017 20:36

Okay, this comment made me laugh really hard.

thatslifeiguess7 16

Sunday 8 October 2017 20:08

Omg call shameless that's an episode

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Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 178

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 680

You deserved it 7 123

The Top

Today, as it goes for the last 7 years, my step-daughter got her child grant and disappeared into her meth habit. Again. As per every month after being "clean" for a week. The child that "is over" drugs. The same child that calls us useless and losers. Guess who gets her child ready for school and takes her there? FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 141

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 340

You deserved it 37 791

Today, at the ungodly hour of 11 PM, my dad called to tell me he was driving my mom to the hospital because she was having breathing problems. It turned out to be nothing serious, but my brain decided to freak out anyway, effectively making me unable to fall asleep. Now, I have to go to work like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 261

Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 168

You deserved it 41 119

Today, I found out that the man I've wanted to be with for the last year and a half also wants to be with me. Two weeks ago, I got a promotion! I'm also legally no longer allowed to date him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 582

You deserved it 309

Today, my second car overheated after having it for like 6 months. Right after getting a new job. It’s currently stuck on the side of the highway, and I have no money to get it towed or fixed. Every time I think things are gonna be okay, they aren’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 100

Same thing different taste

This needs clarification

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