Work: Today, a couple yelled at me and reported me to the homeowner... - FML

By TheDeathguard - 20/07/2017 20:05

Today, a couple yelled at me and reported me to the homeowner association for "watching them make out" at the pool. I'm the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 704

You deserved it 293

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STOP!

By lamelifeguard - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Morrison

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 097

You deserved it 4 473

By Lifeguard - 04/04/2009 19:03 - United States

Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 552

You deserved it 4 497

Dumbass friends

By georgehentson - 04/08/2021 20:01

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to post a sign at the deep end of the public swimming pool, saying, "This end topless only." When someone complained, he said that I did it, and I got banned from the pool for life. And fired, too - I was the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 30/11/2015 23:54 - Belgium - Gent

Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 820

You deserved it 1 774

By "mbrider" - 12/08/2017 16:00

Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 898

You deserved it 269

By Anonymous - 25/03/2014 21:53 - United States - Springboro

Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 517

You deserved it 3 845

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 150

You deserved it 6 231

By cock blocked - 22/04/2015 15:44 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 145

You deserved it 2 474

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 446

You deserved it 7 721

By Anonymous - 06/09/2009 18:23 - United States

Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year-old man who only spoke Spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and I'd politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 526

You deserved it 2 647

Next

Top comments

ThatIsSoFetch 7

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:40

What do they expect when they're making out in a public place?

123765 18

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:09

what's seriously wrong with people these days

Comments

123765 18

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:09

what's seriously wrong with people these days

Akitakat 31

Friday 21 July 2017 1:20

It's not just "these days"...its been like this for a long time. Many just aren't aware.

Glowworm56 26

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:10

"Sir, and lady making out, please get a room!"

ThatIsSoFetch 7

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:40

What do they expect when they're making out in a public place?

Lalala579121 27

Friday 21 July 2017 2:35

A public place where it's someone's job to watch people, no less.

Lobby_Bee 17

Thursday 20 July 2017 20:47

Was it hot?

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 20 July 2017 21:23

If your swim trunks showed your enthusiasm for their activity, they do have a valid point.

White19 13

Friday 21 July 2017 12:18

Lol no

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Thursday 20 July 2017 22:27

Tell them not to flatter themselves and to carry on.

yeongji 31

Friday 21 July 2017 0:26

It seems to me that they wanted their "5 seconds of fame" from making out to last longer by dragging an innocent bystander into their mess. Sorry to hear what happened, OP.

Lalala579121 27

Friday 21 July 2017 6:18

Well they've gotta do something to spice up their romantic life. They probably can't make other activities last longer than 5 seconds.

electrodude 15

Friday 21 July 2017 7:44

So next time you're on duty and something happens to them look the other way

olga_crvjl 19

Friday 21 July 2017 8:55

Lmao omg I can't ??

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Friday 21 July 2017 16:50

You can't what? You have to finish your sentence.

thatslifeiguess7 16

Friday 21 July 2017 17:28

Maybe blowing your whistle gave the wrong impression?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, during my staff Google Meet conference, I forgot to mute my mic when I joined and I was still listening to a true crime podcast. I started to notice people's confused looks and realized they were all hearing the details of the bodies found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 1 085

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 2 157

The Top

Today, after my girlfriend told her mother that she is seeing a different guy than me because her mother doesn’t approve of me, I learned that she is also seeing said guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 613

You deserved it 134

Today, I called a cab to get me and my cat home from the vet. After a 40 minute wait and three calls to the taxi company, the operator told me that the driver she sent to my location just confirmed that he already has a woman with my name and a cat in his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 065

You deserved it 790

Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 100

You deserved it 2 334

Today, my 24 year-old boyfriend said that he wanted to move out of our apartment, but also stay in a relationship. He's moving back in with his parents, over two hours away. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 129

Today, while buying drinks, the cashier immediately refused me and said, “Don’t even bother showing me your ID, you’re obviously 12." I’m 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 808

You deserved it 160

Today, after I cooked dinner, my girlfriend told me how much she missed me and how she wanted to spend more sexy time together. We climbed into bed and, right in the midst of getting frisky, her ADHD kicked in big time, so her mind went astray and then she just fell asleep. Perhaps some Adderall? FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 124