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Just an extra bit of info: I was with my parents at the airport, so I did make it back... after 45 minutes of going through security and announcing that I was an idiot on the intercom so my dad could save me.

By jennisyn - 02/05/2017 14:33 - United States - Newland

Today, I was happy to find flowers at my desk when I came to work. Then I discovered all the women received flowers, while the men received bonus checks. Yes, because women should be paid in flowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 099

You deserved it 768

jennisyn tells us more.

jennisyn 11

Monday 1 May 2017 19:48

This did happen on Wednesday, April 26, aka Administrative Professionals Day. It's a service company and it just burned me up processing bonuses for the men while the women got flowers. It made the ladies feel unappreciated. The work takes everyone. As for it not appearing until Sunday, there is clearly a lag in the time in uploading a FML and it being published.

Dental practice

By urbantrashcan - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dentist and his hygienist were flirting while they worked on my mouth. I didn't really mind, however I definitely minded when the hygienist pierced my gum with her tool because she was laughing at one of his jokes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 589

You deserved it 1 521

By :'( - 09/09/2015 03:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was let go from my dream job for requesting Photoshop as well as Illustrator. I was hired to create marketing materials. Guess I should have just used Paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 767

You deserved it 1 649

By fatface - 13/04/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me when my face was going to go back to normal after being swollen from having my wisdom teeth taken out last week. My face is back to normal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 242

You deserved it 3 787

Introvert struggles

By knife knife - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 929

You deserved it 15 518

By OL2R - 17/04/2012 08:29 - United States - Somerville

Today, my best friend texted me saying she is determined to find out what skank her brother is sneaking around with. I've been secretly dating her brother for months; apparently I'm the skank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 106

You deserved it 39 321

By Anonymous - 04/02/2014 18:00 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, as I came home from school, I saw a little rock in the road. I kicked it, intending to send it sailing into the bushes in front of my house. It went wide and sailed straight into a window instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 505

You deserved it 16 815

By ProudASDmom - 30/03/2016 02:39 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, my son's first impression of our new neighborhood was to be yelled at by the first kid he tried to introduce himself to, because my son was on the edge of their lawn. Half-an-hour later, I got a lecture at the corner store, because the clerk thinks vaccinations caused my son's autism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 066

You deserved it 1 420

By loser doctor - 02/01/2009 11:14 - Philippines

Today, I found out the girl I was in love with has a new boyfriend. I blame myself because I believed her when she said she "wasn't ready" for a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 104

You deserved it 4 416

By Anonymous - 24/12/2014 20:02 - United States - Pennsville

Today, my parents refused to give my daughter her Christmas presents as an act of revenge against her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 512

You deserved it 2 591

By thechaos - 15/12/2014 22:24 - United States - Pittsfield

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 635

You deserved it 4 248

By mutantprincess - 12/01/2016 10:48 - Australia

Today, after waking up to find a large spider outside my bedroom door and screaming, waking up my mum to kill it, she then sprayed it and went to pick it up. She then informed me it was made of plastic. My cat had got into the Halloween decorations from the spare room and decided to play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 663

You deserved it 5 521

By ChangoFett - 26/05/2013 06:46 - United States - Laguna Hills

Today, I changed my teacher's PowerPoint picture to me making a funny face. He saw it and changed it to a picture of him, with a middle finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 166

You deserved it 50 890

By SwingingGallows - 15/07/2016 15:43

Today, I bought my mother an expensive TV she had been looking at. After I bought it, she continued browsing for more stuff. I told her I couldn't afford the extra items. She got mad and called me "selfish". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 750

You deserved it 1 142

By Anonymous - 23/05/2015 07:03 - United States - Tampa

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 170

You deserved it 2 533

Mixed reception

By Ido - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Satellite Beach

Today, I announced my engagement on social media. I got more people telling me how stupid I was than any actually congratulating me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 548

You deserved it 3 280

WWE

By xxlenalunaxx - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after waiting for two weeks for the right moment to meet my boyfriend's mom, she walked in as I was straddling him, trying to prove that I'd win in a wrestling match. I guess we met, then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 817

You deserved it 4 384

By Anonymous - 21/04/2015 15:40 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 404

You deserved it 2 939

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The Top

Today, I was having dinner with my boyfriend. We'd just got our food when my dad walks in, comes up to our table and says, "I didn't say you could leave, you're too young to be dating him", then drags me out of the restaurant. We are both 15, and it was my first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 889

You deserved it 14 222

Today, I got an invitation to my ex-boyfriend's wedding. We broke up because he "didn't believe in marriage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 900

You deserved it 4 874

Random

Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost at the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 611

You deserved it 3 803

Today, I still can't find a job to support myself. The only experience I have is a month in retail and a summer spent in a kitchen de-pooping shrimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 766

You deserved it 4 122

Today, after buying over $300 worth of food and alcohol, I found out all my friends aren't coming to my New Years party but headed to the BIG party at the local club. The one which I sold my ticket to after my friends convinced me to throw a party instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 116

You deserved it 3 131

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 168

You deserved it 350 566

Today, we got a diamond delivered to our house. I was super confused until my husband admitted he’d taken the ashes of his grandparents and parents, my mom and my grandparents', and my auntie's, mixed them all together and sent them to one of those diamond making companies. I’m divorcing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 214

Today, I recently got a boyfriend, a real nice guy, but unfortunately it means I discovered for the first time that during the ovulation phase of my cycle when I’m super horny I actually can’t stand him. I'm stood there craving sex, and the guy I could be having sex with turns my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 322