Today, my little sister decided to move one of the mouse traps...

By Ow - 19/6/2016 00:51 - United Kingdom - Swanscombe

Today, my little sister decided to move one of the mouse traps I set for our current mouse problem onto my desk chair. Apparently when a mouse is caught in a mousetrap it's cruel, but when it snaps on my balls, that's hilarious. FML

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Kids

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Stubborn

By natalyV - 4/9/2015 15:58

Today, my boyfriend has been sulking like a moody kid all day, all because I won't set my phone background to a picture of his dick. FML

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By Miss Blairgowrie - 30/1/2013 07:52 - Australia - Fairfield

Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

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By Nxydolli - 29/4/2011 19:34 - United Kingdom

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

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By Weirdo - 6/12/2011 22:20 - United States

Today, my family took me to a steak house. I went for an eight minute bathroom break, coming back to an empty table. They ordered dessert, and left me the bill. I'm a vegetarian, and it's my birthday. FML

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By MICHAELTHEA - 21/7/2011 04:18 - United States

Today, I was walking on the beach when I tripped. I was about to land on a kid's sandcastle, so I tried to dodge by leaning left to avoid it. Before I hit the ground, I noticed the many rocks I was heading for. FML

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By AlexK - 18/6/2009 23:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/6/2013 16:27 - United States - Spanaway

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

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By finalyearsofhate - 13/3/2017 22:00

Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/4/2016 08:25

Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML

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By cassiebee - 4/11/2012 14:16 - United States - Morgan

Today, at work I was trying to be nice and give a customer a discount because she was having trouble finding money to pay for her food. Everybody behind her then demanded a discount as well. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/1/2018 01:30

Today, while leaving a job site, I put a bundle of pipe on my bosses van, picked up a few tools, and left for the day. He called screaming 30 minutes later to inform me that I didn't strap the pipe to the rack. It slid off the van and hit the car in front of him. FML

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By LolaBell - 24/4/2015 14:12 - United States - Brookfield

Today, my husband admitted that he's been spying on me for the last 5 years to see if I was cheating, out of paranoia brought on by his own cheating for all 5 of those years. FML

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By LonelyStranger - 2/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Lake Stevens

Alone

Today, I was really excited to go to a party because I need to make more friends. Too bad a snowstorm hit right before I was going to leave, now I'm alone with no power. FML

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By needanewride - 16/11/2012 02:40 - United States - Newton Center

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/11/2010 12:17 - United States

Today, I moved back in with my parents in order to help them with the mortgage, so they don't lose the house that has been in our family for three generations. I also found out that I now have a curfew, and so does my husband and our 3 year old son. FML

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By thisistypical - 14/9/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, I found out that the money my husband said he loaned to his "mother" actually went to the purchase of new lingerie for the woman he's cheating on me with. I just got the bill from the department store. FML

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By Ed - 5/12/2010 13:53 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML

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By msassy - 19/5/2012 02:46 - United States - Lexington

Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML

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By alexbobalex - 11/1/2010 07:23 - Aland Islands

Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML

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By donuts678 - 16/8/2015 23:37 - United States - Passaic

Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML

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By kingpig - 2/2/2012 18:00 - Sweden

Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML

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By SadBride - 8/9/2015 00:39 - United States

Today, my in-laws decided they were going to stay an extra week during our vacation to Dominican Republic next year. This would be fine, if we weren't travelling for our destination wedding, and the extra week wasn't our honeymoon. They are literally joining us on our honeymoon. FML

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By Chessmomma3 - 10/5/2019 01:00

Today, my 18-month-old found our "naughty drawer." I found her carrying a "toy" all over the house. FML

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By guessnot - 4/2/2013 02:16 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

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By Anonymous - 8/9/2013 23:20 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my 16-year-old daughter burned all her baby photos because they were unflattering and made her "look fat". FML

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By sninapeters - 22/12/2011 05:31 - United States

Today, I realized that I've been intentionally causing arguments with my husband because the spare bed is more comfortable. FML

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By No Action Fighter - 22/8/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, while at my boxing gym, an old man came inside and did the oddest drunk dance in order to serenade me. I'm a fighter and fine with taking punches to the face, but froze in terror at the sight of this. FML

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By lonleystoner91 - 3/9/2010 08:30 - France

Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/11/2012 02:49 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

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By Tick - 20/8/2018 22:35

Today, I witnessed my first drunken bar brawl. Yes, my 54-year-old husband was one of the participants. FML

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By ac19k - 22/3/2016 02:34 - United States - Franklin

Today, I kept having dreams that I had made drunken snapchats. Those weren't just dreams. FML

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By Rowan Curry - 15/9/2012 15:37 - United States - San Jose

Today, I got mad at my parents and threatened to run away. Things got so bad that I packed a bag and left, planning to hide in my front yard to teach them a lesson. It's been two hours, and I'm still standing behind a bush in front of my house while they make no effort to look for me. FML

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By ScaryBears - 9/10/2012 01:51 - United States - Trumbull

Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML

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By Nearly blind - 7/10/2018 17:30

Today, I forgot my contact solution and used my sister's. When I put them in, my eyes burnt like hell. Apparently my sister has a new solution that is acidic and only gets neutralized after 12 hours in a special container. The warning is on the INSIDE of the bottle label. FML

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By barri - 16/12/2009 07:28 - Costa Rica

Today, both of my grandparents died in a car accident. My Mom and Dad thought it would make me feel better to know they were not my real grandparents, because I'm adopted. FML

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By dogproblems - 27/1/2015 15:09 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/2/2013 07:12 - United States - Bliss

Today, I had a half-hour conversation with my parents about going to college. I don't know what's worse, that they were trying to talk me out of it or that they're convinced that I'm going to get knocked up and drop out by the end of my freshman year. FML

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By jessiluvxx - 25/9/2016 21:08 - United States - Kearny

Today, I was called to be told I'm fired for not showing up for my shift. I guess she didn't check her voice message to see that I gave birth last night. FML

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By Ella - 24/7/2009 02:26 - United States

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/1/2013 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

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Top comments

By tmtsans | 9

#6631649 - Sunday 19 June 2016 16:33

This is the moment when a little girl turns into a corpse.

By Siriusproblem | 10

#6631652 - Sunday 19 June 2016 16:34

You're in quite a pinch OP. Ok, bad puns aside that sucks for you. I hope you feel better quickly, every man can testify how bad ball pain is.

COMMENTS

By tmtsans | 9

#6631649 - Sunday 19 June 2016 16:33

This is the moment when a little girl turns into a corpse.

By Siriusproblem | 10

#6631652 - Sunday 19 June 2016 16:34

You're in quite a pinch OP. Ok, bad puns aside that sucks for you. I hope you feel better quickly, every man can testify how bad ball pain is.

By Pindadio | 7

#6631654 - Sunday 19 June 2016 16:37

I think you should rub scotch bonnets on her tampons...

Saikon1357 | 25

#6632709 - Tuesday 21 June 2016 0:18

Rub ghost peppers on everything that touches her skin

Noah Stpierre | 7

#7465901 - Tuesday 6 June 2017 1:00

Or ghost pepper oil

By Ayasha_fml | 12

#6631660 - Sunday 19 June 2016 16:42

If it kills them completely, and instantly, not cruel. But if it wasn't a humane trap, probably Karma and to try and prevent more offspring from doing the same.

By AbbytheMacaroni | 9

#6631672 - Sunday 19 June 2016 16:51

I cringed hard and I don't even have balls.

By Chloe555_fml | 27

#6631673 - Sunday 19 June 2016 16:52

She's not wrong.

DeltaDragonxx | 20

#6631733 - Sunday 19 June 2016 18:15

I can tell you that you would not be saying that if you knew the pain

jake_braves | 25

#6631796 - Sunday 19 June 2016 19:33

Yeah 6, you'd be crying like crazy with that pain. Too bad you can't feel it.

epicgamer | 18

#6631926 - Sunday 19 June 2016 22:20

go die in a hole fucking stupid ass bitch

By NostalgiaFreak9 | 40

#6631700 - Sunday 19 June 2016 17:35

If one of those things manages to kill a mouse, put the corpse under her sheets.

By loueasy | 23

#6631719 - Sunday 19 June 2016 18:00

This is why little kids are "falling" into animal pens.

By stretch101 | 14

#6631722 - Sunday 19 June 2016 18:03

Sorry that happened to you OP. Hope you have seen a doctor.

By bornpatriot | 11

#6631787 - Sunday 19 June 2016 19:29

Boy. My balls hurt just by the thought of it.. Your sister probably had little idea of how much it hurts. Be the bigger person and don't get back at her.