Today, my boyfriend of over one and a half years told me he won't give me a hand job because "it's awfully wet down there," and he isn't "a fan of other people's bodily fluids." FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like having sex with me, because I get too wet and it makes him go limp. FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I never achieved an orgasm with any of my past partners, and therefore telling him what I need to get there, he won't even touch me, let alone do anything "down there" because he has never done it on any of his past girlfriends, and thinks it's gross. I make sure to always be fresh and clean. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that it's "disgusting" to wash your "rear end" and that he has never, and will never, do it. FML
Today, my boyfriend once again asked me if I could “not get so wet down there” when we have sex, because it “feels funny”. Ummm, even if I could control it, I never knew it was a problem. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
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Top comments
ryanst 7
Since when was fingering called a hand job?
Doortje 30
Just say you love him and want to support him in every way, so if he's not a fan of other people's bodily fluids, you won't be either.
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Comments (120)
ydi_4_suking 20
I like wet bodily fluids. Just not guy fluids
FYLDeep 26
Why would you like guy bodily fluids?
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
take some initiative and use your own damn hands op. guys don't think with their heads we use our penises.
EpicPear 0
38 - Even then.. we still use our heads. ;) gigigdy
tizzwang 0
OP is a girl
Aerious 0
95; You can't give a girl a handjob.
xnox 6
#21 - guy fluids, yum.
tencentsakiss 19
113, OP is definitely a girl. Ever wondered why there are gender symbols next to the username? I assume she is calling the female equivalent a hand job even though it's not actually called that.
osirisx3 0
He's a genius.
maybaybe 0
I love the colour of your hair :)
BWill9014 4
I was thinking the same thing... your hair looks really good lol
qcumberlovar 2
yeah your hair reminds me of hayley Williams from paramore. :) super adorable!
brid8377 2
are you gay?
soldier4life_88 0
didn't see the female sign on the FML did u?!
xshadyshadow 0
But then again, 13, how does one give a female a handjob? Unless I'm so out of touch that people have changed the terminology once again.
BitchynessIsGod 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
13, many people are against gay couples so they probly just decided that ManxWoman symbols would work better (don't wanna get sued by bigots for going against their religion and 'making the Internet a horrible filthy place')
DjeePee 25
'But then again, 13, how does one give a female a handjob?' Oh come on, are you serious? You give a guy a handjob by touching his penis with your hands. You give a girl a handjob by touching her ****** and ******** with your hands. Tadaah. Common sense solved the problem! Again! OP, I feel sorry for you. I would say to don't touch his penis, but that's difficult when you love your partner, and it won't solve a thing. Have a serious talk instead. Tell him that it is supposed to be awfully wet down there and that a decent partner is not afraid of the other one her/his bodily fluids and that your self-esteem will become very low if he doesn't want to do it. I am not a fan of forcing people, but things like this can get very frustrating and relationship-destroying.
WishResign 0
67, it's not called a handjob for a girl... it seems like you deliberately misunderstood 13 haha she didn't need a sex lesson, she was just questioning the wording. not that hard to figure out..
DjeePee 25
Pff, questioning the wording...if you understand it, why questioning it? Not everybody uses the same wording. I use to say 'fingering', or 'hand job' and even 'manual job'. I really don't see the point of questioning the wording - something that 40% of the people is doing here - if it is obvious what she meant.
RedPillSucks 33
Manual job? I had one of those once. Then they started translating the manuals from Chinese. After that, I had to get a menial job instead, masturbating some meanie.
smerry 3
maybe because he ate something wrong or was sick
unfortunate_13 5
win.
ke59100 1
wrong fml buddy
unfortunate_13 5
^that's the joke, smartass
Kiggerz989 0
I seriously wonder how people manage to pull this stuff off... lol.
ryanst 7
Since when was fingering called a hand job?
iheartdance 6
I was thinking that too... it doesn't really make sense
shaannonwilding 0
they could be gay?
alicianoar 7
No, it's a girl, she's clearly just retarded.
ryanst 7
Possibly she's a hermaphrodite with pussy leakage.
Fragmonto 5
#5 your pic is a pure win
emerica34 0
seriously lol
pinkp909 8
oh..you must be gay then?...
TurboTalon 0
How do you read a picture genius.
BitchynessIsGod 4
second time I've said this some bigots who are against gay relationships would actually try to sue, besides that symbol just means intimacy on this site.....
floppycow 0
the symbol on the tor right....idiots
therealsuperman 0
she could be saying he's gay because he doesn't like pussy
crazykidd15 0
isn't that basically what gay is?
BWill9014 4
#62... Lolwut?
EllieSquirtle 0
your hott :D
ygdrassil 17
62, I assume you're referring to the symbol that means intimacy, the category of this FML. Because the one showing the OP's gender is a female symbol. And how could you possibly sue FML for merely showing the gay symbol? It would appear to me that if you wanted to sue someone for showing something that is neutral towards or promoting homosexuality you might go for a gay rights group's website or a gay **** site.
SweetieLish 0
Wow what a pussy...and yes I was talking about your boyfriend, not your awfully wet vag.
rockhound 0
what a pussy! and yes, I'm talking about your awfully wet vag.
zackzimmer 0
lol that's hilarious
melmeldolphin 8
It's been a year and a half and he FINALLY told you this? How old is he?
tygerarmy 35
Exactly, is this the first time he's denied you, just don't do anything that involves his fluids, he may change his mind.
KFCkoolaidWaterm 0
Why the hell is it so wet? Guess he never needs to go to Canada, since it's like Niagra fricken Falls down there.
T1A2Z3 35
Hmm.... guess your girlfriend is incredible unsatisfied?
Sparkiee93 3
I would recommend refusing to give him handjobs or oral sex.
SulfurPlague 0
that'll teach him.